The Flames of Death Spork II: Remaster Boogaloo, Chapter 6

Getting a head start on this next chapter (we just published the previous one). After so many years we have once again forgotten what exactly happens in this chapter, but according to our original prelude she’s recovering and she and Malorn are talking about stuff that has nothing whatsoever to do with either this story or the story of the game itself. So the usual. SUCH ONWARDS! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

Chapter Six: The Sleep

“Hey Malorn…” I look up and see none other than Cole.

“Cole…what are you doing here?”

HE’S HER BLOODY FRIEND, MORON. What do you THINK he’s doing here???

He walked over slowly and sat on the bench next to me. I was in my usual spot outside Nicole’s cottage. She ended up with enough funds in the time I didn’t see her to afford one just like mine.

“Just thought I’d come to visit… It’s been awhile.”

“I’m guessing you want to…?”

“Yeah.” he replied with a quick nod.

I opened the door and let us inside.

“You know the usual,” I said as my mood darkened.

And in how many fucking years again did you still not come up with a line even slightly less puzzling and awkward than this one.

“Right.”

I led Cole upstairs to where Nicole laid on her bed. Medications and other things were constantly being given by her faithful pets, tending to the needs she couldn’t on her own. Sir Chester the dragon was the only one who was constantly curled in a ball at her side on the bed.

If she’s in a coma then how can she take her meds

“How long has…?”

“Three months to the day.”

“And she hasn’t moved…?”

“No.” I replied curtly.

Both of us stared at the bed in defeat.

“Has Moolinda tried-?”

“Yes.”

“What about-?”

“Yes.”

“And Professor-?”

“Yes. Always the know-it-all Life student, eh Cole?”

Oh cool, she stuck with her rarity of an improvement of nerfing them all back down to students instead of Grandmasters and apparently paid enough attention to fix it here. She also finally added speech tags somewhat where they should be, because before we couldn’t tell who was supposed to be saying what.

“Damn right.” He replied with a small smirk. He walked over to the bed and brushed a stray hair out of her precious face.

Are you medically dependent on remarking on her beauty every single Goddamn time you acknowledge her existence

“You’re lucky, you know.” I stared at him quizzically and he gestured to her again. “She’s beautiful.” Cole stood and put a hand on my shoulder. “Take good care of my best friend.”

OH HEY COOL SHE GOT RID OF THE PART WHERE COLE WAS SUDDENLY HER BROTHER FOR WHATEVER FUCKING REASON

I nodded. “I’ll never leave her.”

Cole nodded and teleported away.

I stared at the bed for a long time. I watched her small frame rise and fall with her breath. Her perfectly straight light brown hair framed the face that was the most beautiful picture I’d ever see. Her eyes… closed. I wish I could see that brilliant electric blue with light dancing in her eyes one more time. She’s a wizard of Fire, of light. Not this… never this…

Okay her prose here still sucks ass but we’re going to let it slide this one time because at LEAST she got rid of the part where he was admiring the shape of her body and he made SPECIFIC reference to her breasts. Wonder if past-Nicole was suffering from A-cup angst and that was her way of trying to cope—

I looked at her fully again, and saw Sir Chester under her hand… Oh how I’d love to touch and hold her soft, small hand. She always had the smallest hands I’d ever seen. And I-

Sir Chester under her hand…?

THE PLOT THICKENS

She had to have moved.

Or Chester did, genius boy.

I walked over to the bedside and sat next to her. I ran my fingers slowly through her hair and leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. Her skin was warm… a good sign. I kissed her again, running my hands along the sides of her body. I opened my eyes and saw the slightest trace of a smile, but it vanished when I stopped.

“Nicole… please…” I whispered, tracing her body again. I kissed her cheek, her neck, and just above her breast. I laid my head on her chest and kissed her neck again. I heard her breath catch.

Dude, for the love of God, she’s asleep!!

I looked up to see her.

Well who the fuck else are you toeing the line of sexual assault with

She was smiling.

Her hand dropped off Sir Chester onto my leg.

“Nicole…? Nicole, please…” I whispered again, tracing the pattern of her firm stomach with my fingertips. I grazed where her leg met her hip and traced around. I leaned close and breathed on her neck, hoping to tickle her. She sighed.

We’re gonna be sick—

I kissed her cheek again.

And though she barely responded, we continued through the night.

*The next day…*

I woke to find myself lying in bed with Nicole in my arms. She hadn’t woken at all, but she responded to everything.

,,,For the sake of our own sanity we’re not even going to ponder the possibilities of what could have happened there.

I would breathe on her neck and she would sigh. I kissed her and she smiled. Her breath would catch when I ran my fingers through her hair.

I stared at her again, admiring her. She’s beautiful, even in her peaceful sleep.

AND IN OTHER NEWS THE SKY IS BLUE AND THE EARTH IS ROUND.

I kissed her forehead and gently laid her back into a comfortable position alone. I stood up and went to find something for breakfast, watching her smile as I walked away.

While you’re down there, could you find us some brain bleach? Extra-strength?

I scratched my head and rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up.

I was a step down the stairs when I thought I heard something, but I dismissed it, my mind playing games.

I was up nearly the whole night with her, toying with her in my attempt to stir her. I had thought I’d heard something from her lips at least once every hour, but I was being stupid.

“Mmm…”

I froze in my tracks. Then I heard it again.

“Mmm…”

It was the faintest of a groan… but I heard it. I ran back up the stairs and looked at her.

She had been bound and gagged by me. I was trying to kidnap her again, hopefully ridding the world of her and this Godforsaken story once and for all. Curses! Foiled again!

Her eyes were tight in concentration, as if she was trying to remember something. But again and again, she made the same groaning sound. I was by her side in an instant.

“Nicole… it’s Malorn. Nicole… Nicole Spiritflame, I love you.”

WHO’S SHOCKED WE’RE NOT

Then she was still.

My heart sank into my stomach, and I felt a knot form in seconds.

“Nicole, I love you. I truly love you. I’ll never leave you. I will be here when you wake up.”

The smile disappeared from her face. Feeling dead inside, I turned to walk away.

You’re the Angsty Bad Boy™ Necromancer, don’t you always feel dead inside? Isn’t that what author-Nicole has been drilling into our skulls with every single fucking word of this stupid thing?? Isn’t that what makes insert-Nicole so Goddamned special, the fact that She Alone Can Breach the Walls You’ve Built Around Yourself and Melt Your Ice-Cold Heart and Teach You How To Love Again??

“Malorn… I love you.”

I turned around to see her shining blue eyes and a smile.

ZOMGGGGGG THEIR LUV HEELD HER ND WOKE HER UP FRUM DA COMA DATS SO SWEEEEEET SO KAWAII DESU

She couldn’t yet sit up though.

“Nicole,” I breathed. I ran to the bed and lifted her up and into my arms. When I held her, she reached up and held my face in her hands and closed the gap between our lips.

Her lips were soft and tasted like roasted marshmallows. Her breath on my tongue was sweet and full of life.

Bruh she’s been in a coma for the past three months, she should taste like morning breath from Hell. Is it really so critical that she be absolutely perfect in every single possible way, no matter how inane???

I pulled her close to me, running my free hand through her hair. She pulled back.

“I love you.” she breathed.

“I love you too.”

Hm. So they didn’t talk. Although we would have much preferred they did…!

–Bishop

Continue reading.

The Flames of Death Spork II: Remaster Boogaloo, Chapter 5

Hello and welcome to the next horrible chapter of horribleness in this horrible story of lore- and character-butchering for basically no reason. Apparently in the OG chapter 5 she DID make reference again to Evil Angel, which makes her earlier reference to it in chapter 4 when it didn’t even apply even more inexplicable. ON TO THE WARDS! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

[Author’s Note 11/10/15]: Obviously, as you can tell, I’ve been updating the chapters to make them a little bit better. The title of the chapter and theme is Evil Angel based on the song by Breaking Benjamin. You should give it a listen! Anyway, enjoy the chapter.

Chapter Five: The Evil Angel

“Well, she wasn’t in there,” I stated numbly to Sam. We just came out of the tower at the back of Sunken City. We were so tired from that last fight, we had to sit down right in the park area. I flopped onto the bridge and sprawled out. Sam sat up against the pedestal with the Wraith and closed her eyes, leaning her head back.

“Well… There’s only one place left to check if the other two went to the other towers already…” she started. And as much as I knew she was telling the truth, I didn’t want to believe it.

…Why was it necessary to remark on that??? Why would she lie about that? How could she lie about that? You all know there are only four towers. Of course you knew she was telling the truth.

“Hang on, I’m getting someone,” I said, sitting up. Suddenly, Ryan’s voice was in my head. Using magical communication whispering. MCW for short.

,,,Setting aside that choppy-as-all-Hell sentence structure and awkward as fuck name, BITCH, JUST FUCKING CALL IT TELEPATHY OR A MIND LINK OR SOMETHING EVEN REMOTELY NORMAL. Magical communication whispering—are you high?????

“Cole and I searched the first tower… no luck. We’re headed out to the second one now.”

“Got it. We’re heading to Grubb.”

“Good luck.”

“You too.”

I stood up and cracked my neck.

“Alright… You ready Sam?”

“Let’s do this,” she said, cracking her knuckles.

We hopped on our mounts and took off toward the castle. We used the key once we got to the gate and stepped inside.

At first, nothing happened.

“That’s funny,” Sam said. “Doesn’t he usually appear right here?”

“Yeah….” I held up my arm to block her path and looked around. “I don’t see him anywhere.” I dropped my arm and let her walk. “Maybe we should split up.”

YOU NEVER SPLIT UP *facewall*

“Good idea. I’ll go this way. You take that way.”

“Okay…”

Sam went cautiously toward the room to the left of the main entryway, and I broke right. I peeked in the doorway and slowly stepped inside; there was no one there.

That part of the castle was enclosed, and it was pitch-black. The only light I had was from the glowing end of my staff. But it only allowed me to see about a foot or so in front of me. I held it up high to be able to see more clearly when I saw vague movement.

*GASP* I WONDER WHO IT COULD BE

“Who’s there?” I said as loudly as I could muster.

But no one responded.

I continued walking around for a few minutes when I heard a low groan.

“WHO’S THERE?” I shouted this time. But when I only heard a groan again, I responded, “YOU’D BETTER TELL ME WHO YOU ARE OR-”

Or what? You gonna bitch and whine me to death?

But then I heard the faintest of whispers in the dark.

“Mal… orn…?”

I could recognize that voice anywhere.

It was his true self. He had been held captive by Nikaya and completely butchered and ruined in the torture chamber she called a fanfic. He couldn’t believe what he had been reduced to.

“Nicole! Nicole, it’s me! Where are you?!” I yelled. I waited impatiently for the response, but it didn’t come.

“Nicole!” I shouted again. Still nothing.

“Nicole!” I shouted, slightly louder this time, but I still gained no response.

“NICOLE, PLEASE!” I was practically begging now. I waited for a few seconds before finally hearing the voice again.

“Turn…a…roun…” Her voice trailed off, but I got the gist of it.

ALL SHE DID WAS LEAVE OFF THE ‘D’. You didn’t need to ‘get the gist of it’. Besides, wouldn’t he have already been able to tell that her voice was coming from behind him? What kind of moron looks for someone and doesn’t search the whole room?

I spun on my heels and ran toward the voice.

I gasped in shock.

Nicole was slumped up against the wall, her arms strung up, held by rusted, metal chains. Her clothes were ripped and torn, and she had bruises all over her bare skin, caked with dirt…

Oh good, she removed that puzzling detail where she was also covered in ashes for some reason even though she had no burns.

“Nicole…” I dropped to my knees and grabbed her in my arms and laid my head on her own. I turned my head slightly and kissed her on the head. She then buried her face in my shoulder and sobbed. She couldn’t speak, so I just let her stay there in my arms, neither of us wanted to let go.

Oh hey, look, something she actually made WORSE, the grammar was correct in the original version but she changed it for whatever reason. Also, wouldn’t it be more important to GET HER THE HELL OUT OF THERE??? Do the comforting and canoodling later when you’re both not still LITERALLY IN THE ENEMY’S FORTRESS, Jesus Christ.

“Never leave me again,” I breathed into her hair. Her scent of Lava Lilies was only a mere trace now. Every part of her had changed in one way or another.

Okay but I like how the Lava Lily smell is apparently symbolic of her becoming a Strong and Hardened Young Woman, as if it’s something she exudes on her own and has now lost as a result of her Terrible Ordeal, and not like she just,,,was being held captive and therefore was not able to wash her hair or reapply her perfume or whatever it really is.

When I pulled back and looked into her eyes, I didn’t see the eyes of a little girl anymore.

She was a woman that had been put through a living hell.

Hello? Police? Come Get This Nasty Motherfucker

She stopped crying then and just stared at me with longing in her eyes. She still couldn’t move, so I let her lay her back against my chest and her head rest in my right arm. I reached over and combed my fingers through her now dirty, wild hair. But I didn’t care. She was safe here in my arms, and that’s all that mattered.

Again, she’s not safe yet, y’all are still IN THE VERY PLACE SHE WAS DRAGGED OFF TO AND HELD PRISONER IN.

“Any luck?” Sam asked in my head.

“I’ve got her.”

“Yes! Nicole!” I then heard Sam’s footsteps running through the palace. In a few seconds, she was sitting next to us. “Oh thank goodness!” She bent down and hugged Nicole. But Nicole groaned and Sam released. When she let go, I could see her eyes clench and her body tense.

She was in that much pain?

Of course she is, you idiot, she’s been held captive and tortured for days.

I bent down again and kissed her forehead. She looked up at me and smiled.

“I’ve got her,” I told Ryan and Cole. “She’s badly hurt, but she’s safe.”

“Finally!” Cole thought with joy.

“Oh, thank the Titans!” Ryan thought, in a sigh of relief.

But then we heard a loud clanging noise.

OMG WHAT’S HAPPENING THIS IS VERY EXCITING AND SO TOTALLY NOT BORING AT ALL

Nicole’s reaction came first. Her body tensed up, and as she did so, she groaned in pain. But she didn’t stop there. She picked her head up and looked at me wide-eyed.

“He’s… he’s… b…back,” she stuttered. My eyes grew wide when I realized that it must have been him.

I set Nicole down on the floor and kissed her on the forehead again. “You stay here. We’ll take care of Grubb.” I readied my staff as a small light – what looked like a lantern – was growing bigger and brighter in the dark.

“N…n…no…” Nicole whispered. “Not… not… Grubb.”

*GASP* IF IT’S NOT GRUBB THEN WHO COULD IT BE ZOMG NOBODY KNOWS YOU’RE SO GREAT AT SUSPENSE AUTHOR

I did a double-take and looked from her to Sam.

“Did she just say what I think she said?” I asked Sam. She nodded. “Well, if it’s not Grubb, then who the fu-”

And then I heard the most sickening, laugh I’d ever heard in my life.

Really? You deleted the ‘familiar’, but not the comma that was right fucking there and you didn’t even give this a once-over for any dusting that it might have needed after you were done?? Of course, you haven’t done it the LAST four times, so why in the world would you start now???

My stomach dropped when I realized I had once known that laugh very well.

“My dear boy… How I’ve missed you.” And with a wave of his staff, the room – much bigger than I’d remembered – lit up completely, revealing the one person that I’d wanted to take my revenge on for years.

My father.

WOW I TOTALLY DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING THIS IS SUCH AN AMAZING PLOT TWIST—called it.

“You!” I sneered. “This is all your fault!” I felt my power build inside of me, the way it always did when any Wizard became angry. Death Wizards particularly have a cool, chilling sensation go up their spines. And this time, I even felt my eyes start to burn; they were redder than usual.

Okay but why though

“Silly boy,” he snickered. His voice was ice-cold, like the hissing of a snake. “Of course it is. And do you know why?”

I just stared him down, baring my teeth, my eyes now glowing red.

Again: Why

As my eyes grew brighter, his eyes… I could have sworn they widened the slightest bit, but I couldn’t be sure. He regained his composure too fast.

You know, if you take that last bit out of context, that was actually well written.

“I see you’ve made some friends at the stupid school of yours,” he said, gesturing toward Nicole.

And yet ANOTHER pointless #Edgy™ creative decision (and trust me, I use that term very loosely with this woman). Malistaire loved Ravenwood. He only left because everyone was trying to stop him from hurting himself and others trying to bring Sylvia back, which they were also trying to get him to understand was a fruitless effort, and would only drive him more insane.

I growled in frustration. “She was very useful to me, you see. She, of course, wouldn’t give me any answers, but she did in fact lead you right where I wanted you… with me.”

“Is that a challenge?” I jumped into a fighting stance and glared. But he only laughed at me, and I felt my anger rise to the brim.

“Dear boy, that is certainly not it at all! You see, you’re my son, and I’ve missed you, Malorn. You know you were named after me, don’t you? Malorn… Malistare. It all means the same thing, you know…. Bad.”

“Don’t lie to me!” I shouted. I crouched lower in the fighting stance.

“I’m not lying to you. Why would I lie to my own son?”

“Because you said you loved her! You said you loved Mom! BUT YOU KILLED HER!” I screeched.

WE GET IT, HE HAS A TRAGIC PAST™.

Sam clasped her hands over her ears and Nicole winced. My anger was spinning out of control. My eyes started to glow brighter and my body started to mist out black smoke. I felt my powers going out of check, and I struggled to stay in control.

Just then, Cole and Ryan appeared behind Malistare. He spun on them and shot them against the wall with a shock from his staff. They laid there on the floor, powerless, while Sam stayed with Nicole behind me. Even after what took place just then, I still couldn’t move.

Why couldn’t I move?

“Join me.”

The words were cold, but determined. I’d never heard more painful words in my life. But the thing was…

I had to fight for my sanity. I was about to lose control of myself. But I struggled to stay in control; I knew I could hurt Nicole and everyone else.

Then something happened.

I suddenly dropped to the floor on my knees, and my head hurt worse than it ever had before. I clenched my eyes shut in pain. In the back of my mind, I knew Nicole was hoarsely screaming my name and asking me what was wrong, but I couldn’t respond.

My eyes turned completely red and glowed so bright, it lit the entire castle. The guys had to shield their eyes, but Nicole didn’t dare to look away. Malistare just smiled at me.

“Do you see your power, child?” he asked. “Do you see what lies within you? It is a great power that only I can teach you. Join me and I shall.”

I stood up, taking a step forward, my eyes still glowing. Malistare smiled.

We’re still half-tempted to go back and add in all the ‘i’s she’s leaving out of ‘Malistaire’.

What are you doing, you asshole?! Back UP!

But as much I told myself to stop moving toward a great power I may never know otherwise, I took another step.

The struggle between good and evil: Ur doin it rong.

His smile grew wider.

“Malorn!”

I spun on my heels and saw Nicole, standing… barely, holding onto Sam for support, but she looked me dead in the eyes with such a force that no matter how strong that other power was…

I couldn’t look away from her.

Lmfao at least she got rid of the part where Malorn talks about ‘the real him’ and deadass fucking says ‘Love does conquer all’

I turned back to him, my eyes still flaring red, but this time, I smirked and summoned a Wraith… the biggest one I ever had.

While the bit about the smirk still has us rolling our eyes into next week, at least she got rid of the part where he brags about how ‘badass’ the Wraith was and how he did it without any blades or traps.

It then sucked as much energy out of Malistare as it could, leaving him dropping to the floor. I fell too from using all of my strength and stayed on my hands and knees. Nicole rushed over with Sam and they bent down at my sides.

And when exactly was she released from the shackles keeping her chained to the wall?? I don’t suppose any of you possess any lockpicks, nor did you fight a guard for the keys???

“You win this round,” he called. He summoned up the last of his energy and left without a trace. But then his voice rang out all around us, seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere. “BUT YOU WILL JOIN ME SOMEDAY!” he bellowed.

“Not a chance,” I huffed out. My breathing was rapid, and my head started to spin.

Oh good she removed the part where she took an opportunity to shove some more swear words in by having them all insult him after he was gone

Then I heard a groan, and Nicole fell over beside me, and it seemed as if the whole world was about to end.

Well given how she IS the world in this situation, I’d say that’s a pretty accurate observation.

I caught her in my arms, nearly falling over too.

“No!”

That’s it for this chapter (thank God). Have we mentioned how much we hate this bloody fanfic?

–Bishop

Continue reading.