Crapfic #8: Special Lantern: Different From Humanity by Rizubesu Majo

‘Sup poozers. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me I know I’m pretty much done with the old MST game, but I decided this fic that I’m 97% sure is a joke was worth coming out of retirement. It’s about an eight year old girl whose mother was killed when she was four and she immediately became a uh…‘Special’ Lantern??? And then Hal Jordan showed up? And she’s gonna join Young Justice??? …Never mind. You gotta read it. Onwards.

Makin a new story

It’s about my OC, Special Lantern/Linder

I hope you guys like her

Well, I like that she makes me feel a lot better about my Luka!

Dawn was the daughter of Lord Henrico and Lady Luna. She wasn’t like other girls

PFFFFFHAHAHAHAHA YOU ACTUALLY JUST USED THAT

for Dawn had forever lasting beauty and…half vampire.

*looks into the camera like I’m on The Office*

She had two twin sisters named Elissa Blaze and Nymue Aqua. Also an older brother named Reyuki (means Strong will in Linderish).

‘Linderish’ is apparently just some made up words plus Zatanna’s spellwork (English words, but spelled backwards).

She had a happy life with her El Paso friend, Jaime, but a shadow lurked inside her father and brother making them dark and sinster. She was only 4 when her father killed his wife in front of her.

Ok but like why didn’t you just say ‘her mother’ what-what the fuck is this

“Shhhh…let’s keep it our little secret, my precious Dawn.” he said, licking her mother’s blood off his fingers.

why

She tensed at the sight, remembering her ancient forever living step-uncle Rido. Her father went to his bedroom, leaving Dawn and her sisters weeping over their mother.

And what of the uncle??? How is he important??? You’re not gonna give us any background on him???

“Mom…no.” Dawn weep, clutching her mother’s necklace. It was the ‘Vampire’s Heart’ and it was passed down to important daughters of the Enchanting family.

IMPORTANT. DAUGHTERS. OF THE ENCHANTING. FAMILY.

She wiped her tears and put on the necklace, while she went to her room.

“Why on Mother’s Day?” Dawn sadly asked.

LMFAO

A bright object appeared in front of her, that she thought it was a firefly. She grabbed it and held it to her necklace.

WHY WOULD YOU JUST

fucking grab

a firefly

and just

hold it

to your necklace

…yeah

Her necklace glowed furiously at her hands. She closed her eyes as the bright light covered her in gold.

“What’s happening to me?!” she gasped as the light went away. She looked in the mirror and noticed the difference of her now. Her emerald eyes turned into a beautiful dark violet,

Her eyes changed from a beautiful and unique colour to an even more beautiful and unnatural colour because apparently emerald green isn’t quite unique enough for the author’s liking

her pink dress into a pinkish colorful armor with a mask helmet, and a skirt along with high-heeled boots the same color.

…Because a fucking four-year-old needs heels

“I’m different…perhaps I could save people in mother’s honor without my dad noticing! I’ll be a hero! But who’s going to train me?” Dawn whispered. There was someone on her baloney

sajhgfhujNHBGVUGYHIFDHBYFCHDSJB

wearing green, black, white with a green ring.

“So this is the Special Lantern…ahem…I’m Green Lantern aka Hal Jordan.

BECAUSE HAL TOTALLY DOESN’T CARE ABOUT HIS SECRET IDENTITY…LIKE AT ALL…WEARS THAT MASK TO LOOK FASHIONABLE…YEAH….

What’s your name?” Hal asked politely. He has been tracking the special ring for months and finally found it at Black Widow Manor with a 4 year old girl.

…But it was a necklace…unless it was the glow she grabbed, that would make sense…well, MORE sense…but then why didn’t she specify that it was a Ring and that it slid itself onto her finger, like Power Rings do???

“My name is Dawn…and I want to save mankind, Hal.” she replied. He patted her head and looked at her.

Then he smiled. ‘You’re four fucking years old, kid,’ he said. ‘It’s past your bedtime.’

“You’ll be one…but first as my sidekick. I’ll teach you to fight and self defense. You have my word.” Hal said flying into the night. She nodded and flew slowly with him

“Hmp…I’ll catch him with my Enchanting lasso.”

Not like Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth at all,,,no,,,totally different,,,completely original tool,,,,

Dawn mumbled, catching the villain with the lasso. She handed the villain to the police and flew onto of Wayne Tower. She was being tested by Hal to see if she’s fine on missions alone.

SHE’S EIGHT.

Dawn telepathically told Hal that she finished the mission when she felt two presences behind her.

“Batman and…someone I barely know.” Dawn said looking at the boy next to him. He stared at her preparing to throw a batrang when Batman held out his hand.

“This is Special Lantern, Hal’s partner. Special Lantern this my partner Robin aka Dick.” Batman replied. She smiled and held out her hand, which he gladly accept it.

BECAUSE BATMAN ISN’T CONSTANTLY UP ROBIN’S ASS ABOUT KEEPING HIS SI SECRET FROM EVERYBODY, EVEN HIS FRIENDS AND TEAMMATES…HE WOULD TOTALLY JUST BLOW IT TO THIS KID HE DON’T KNOW FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND….

“Nice to meet you, SL.” Robin replied.

“Yeah me too.” she said. It’s been 4 years since she saw Batman and the other Justice League members.

“I have to go to Hal, now…see yah later!” Dawn said, flying into the air. Ah…fresh air blowing onto her face is relaxing. Dawn noticed Aquaman, Green Arrow, Flash, and Hal were there waiting for her. Along with them were three others, one she remembered as Aqualad or Kald’r,

*INTERNALLY SCREAMING* YOUUUUU DID NOT JUST MISSPELL MY SON’S NAME,,,,

but the others she didn’t noticed.

“Hey Hal…Aquaman and Kald’r…Green Arrow and Flash plus some other partners I still don’t know about…” she replied confusingly. The one that kinda looked like Flash, smiled at her with a flirty look on his face while the other one cocked his head at her.

Because everybody knows Wally just can’t resist those eight year olds.

“Hey Hal…who’s the pretty armor?” The flash boy asked.

“This is Dawn aka Special Lantern, my partner. Dawn meet Kid Flash and Speedy…Hope you’ll get along.” Hal replied. Dawn held out her hand in a respected manner.

“Nice to meet you all…I have sisters who are partners to someone else.” Dawn said.

‘Hi. Have some information totally irrelevant to this current situation.’

The one called Speedy shook her hand carefully and glared at the clock.

“Where the heck is Batman and his partner?!” Speedy grumbled ungratefully.

BECAUSE SPEEDY DOESN’T KNOW ROBIN’S NAME AT ALL AND WOULD TOTALLY USE THAT AWKWARD AS FUCK PHRASING

Batman appeared suddenly behind Green Arrow with his partner.

Ssssstop calling them partners holy shit call them protégés or Hell even SIDEKICKS but they aren’t partners it sounds awkward (not even just in a relationship way) and they are still learning

“Ahem… now that we’re all here, we have some discussion to attend to.” Batman said. Robin looked around the room, landing his eyes on Dawn in question.

“Hey…Um sorry about earlier. Batman said to be on alert all times. Ha…” Robin said. Dawn smiled and bowed in Linderan culture.

And we still know jack shit about Linderan culture because you haven’t explained anything IMPORTANT throughout this entire thing

“Quite alright, Dick, I understand the teachings. Being a leader on your own planet is a bit too hard when you’re just 8 years old.” Dawn replied. Dick smiled and leaned toward her.

“My real name is Richard Grayson, but I prefer Dick.” He whispered.

*facedesks into eternity*

“Well mine’s…Dawn… Dawn Rosalia Beauty Enchanting. My father and brother are being controlled by my suppose to be dead step uncle…” she whispered back sadly.

‘This is where I give you my Tragic Backstory™ after three minutes of knowing you because the story wasn’t totally centred on me for two lines.’

Dick looked at her with concern but before he could say anything, Batman spoke up.

Concern for this girl’s sanity, yeah.

“Robin, Aqualad, Speedy, Kid Flash, and Special Lantern remember that “day” will come very soon…understood?” Batman said. Dawn and the other partners nodded their heads. They wished for that day to come… it was coming very soon…

Yeah…almost as if Batman just told them it was coming very soon….

TO BE CONTINUED…

Hi guys!

Hope u like the chappie

I know that Dawn’s full name is a bit long, but hey its better than one middle name!

*looks into the camera like I’m on The Office*

Until next time…the next update

-Roxanne Darling

*strained smile* …Welp. I doubt she’s going to update, since this has only one chapter and she published it in September of last year. But if she does…I’ll be there. Bye.

–Bishop

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Crapfic #7: The Flames of Death: A Malorn AshThorn Story by Nikaya, Chapter 11

Appy polly loggies, my little droogies, for leaving this for so very long—this chapter is so unbelievably boring and pointless that I couldn’t think of much to say. Even after several more read-throughs I have gleaned very little. I apologise, this will be sparse, but I hate leaving things unfinished, so I’ll do what I can and then I’m going to post this. I’m afraid her Author’s Note is the most interesting part of this entire chapter—see if you can spot yours truly. SNONWARDS (SNAIL ONWARDS)! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

HERE IT IS! The update you’ve all been waiting for! I’m so sorry that it’s taken so long but I’m really trying to get back into the swing of writing. I promise I’m going to write more frequently! Thank you for staying with me!

And you had barely picked the ball back up before you promptly dropped it again.

*Important Note*: I would like to thank one of my reviewers for pointing out that Malorn appears to be very much OOC. However, I wish to clarify that the character I portray him as is solely based on what students outside of the Death school see him as. He only has a mere three lines if you are not in the Death school and do not have the opportunity to speak with him more for other quests.

And still, we talked about this. I told you, even in those ‘mere three lines’ of dialogue, it is made very clear that Malorn has a friendly, welcoming nature—to interpret what he said, how he said it, as standoffish or confrontational, must take someone extremely dull—oh. Wait.

So I do apologize to those of you that are from the Death school, but this is my own, personal spin on the character to make a good story. Thank you for understanding!

Also note: Adding the song “Perfect Life” by Red to the theme of this story. Check it out!

Chapter Eleven: The Burden

*Two weeks later…*

“Ugh…” I slowly blinked my eyes open, groaning in pain. My entire being was sore, and didn’t want to move.

I slowly lifted myself up and I sat on the edge of the bed. On my right was Kalohae curled into a ball with deep burns all over him. Chester was to my left, his breathing shallow. The room around me was entirely made of wood with a few lanterns around the room. Through the paper door, I could make out the figure of someone making dinner. The light of the sun showed through the window with an orange glow touching my face.

??? This story has the most inexplicable prose I’ve ever read. I’m not even kidding—what have you been reading? Where do you go to school??? No, I’m serious—how did you learn to write in this fashion?

When I looked down, I saw the bandages wrapped across my shoulder, down my torso. Half of my body was covered in black bruises, and I was stripped down to my underwear. I clenched my eyes shut and ran my hand through my overgrown hair, and shook it as if shaking the image of the explosion out of my head. I slid off the bed, gripping it for support and grabbed my staff to hold onto to.

When you see it….

I walked slowly to the door, using the staff as a cane.

I slid the paper door to the side, and a goat-woman was cooking some sort of soup in a large pot on the stove. She looked over at me and smiled gently before gazing out to the porch.

Nicole.

You’ve already done this bit Nicole. Last chapter, near the end, he woke up in this hut and met their host and comforted Nicole you. I’m not even gonna ask why you seem to have wound back a few minutes–I know you’re a shit writer who seems incapable of consistency and who wouldn’t reread her own writing to save her life. WHAT IS THIS INSANE ADVERSITY YOU SEEM TO HAVE TO READING BACK EVEN TWO FUCKING WORDS TO MAKE SURE YOUR WRITING DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A FIFTH-GRADER DID IT??? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO GO BACK AND READ YOUR OWN STUFF! IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO WEED OUT TYPOS AND PLOT ERRORS SO THAT YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE, EDITORIALLY INEPT MORON. OH. WAIT.

I leaned the staff against the table and limped over to the porch. I said nothing and just sat down beside her on the steps, gazing up at the stars. She had a large gash on forehead through her right eyebrow. Her face was pale and tear-stained. Suddenly, she looked at me, eyes watering. I ran my hand through her hair and along her cheek. I gently pulled her chin to me and kissed her with the energy I had left in me as the tears rolled down her cheeks onto mine.

You know, I used to write sentences like that. In my self-indulgent tragic Suefic phase…oh. Wait.

*One week later…*

Really? Really? We needed THAT information before we advanced a week to the rest of the story??? Why??? Why did you need to put these two instances a week apart? Why did you need to include this at all, to be frank? It’s unnecessary, it’s clumsy, it’s—bad writing.

We had been taking it easy lately, not going out of the house unless it was to one of the stores across the street. We stayed in to help Mrs. Lin Zeng with taking care of the house and tending to the dragons. Nicole took care of most of the healing and I cleaned the house, took out garbage, and various other stupid shit.

Be careful not to cut yourself on that edge, there.

I found it all pointless because none of these things were preparing us for war. No one knew what was going on with Wizard City. We knew Ravenwood had been attacked from Ambrose trying to contact us. What we didn’t know was the end result.

Thankfully, all of Malistare’s minions had been kicked out before we came to the village in MooShu by Nicole’s team of wizards she used to travel with. At this point, they would have been to Dragonspyre by now, but all the wizards were called back to Wizard City to help Ravenwood.

As for Nicole and I, her levels shot through the roof after surviving the last attack as well as her constant practicing healing. She was already a Master wizard, and I became a Grandmaster.

YOU WERE ALREADY A GRANDMASTER IN THE FIRST CHAPTER! YOU BITCHED ABOUT IT TO FALMEA, I—WOULD IT KILL YOU TO GO BACK AND READ YOUR OWN WRITING NOW AND AGAIN, NICOLE?!

CONTINUITY! WHAT IS IT!!!

That morning, Nicole and I decided it was time to see the village. We were walking hand in hand when Nicole stopped and turned to me.

“Malorn,” she breathed. She kissed me full on the lips and then rested her head on my shoulder in a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around her small, now-athletic frame.

“What’s the matter?” I pulled back and looked into her eyes.

“I’m so afraid of losing you.” She looked down. “Back in that attack, when you got hurt…and then you didn’t wake up, and-“

I cut her off, pressing my finger to her lips. “Shhh… It’s alright now.”

“No it’s not!” she yelled suddenly, and I did a double take. “You could have been killed! What if you were really hurt?! What if Malistare came back?!”

I sighed. “Nicole…. I know. We both know what could happen. But do we really have a say in whether or not we’re part of this mess?” She shook her head.

If I’ve learned anything from J. K. Rowling, you…kinda…do….

“No…. I know that. But I just want you to know how much I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Nicole gasped. “Malorn!” Before I could blink, Nicole tackled me at the waist into the pavement. My eyes snapped shut and a wave of frigid energy shot over us. I opened my eyes.

There were ten wraiths floating above us, closing in. The one had summoned a Vampire and the energy was the wraith trying to suck the life out of me. Nicole jumped up and used her wand to summon a Meteor Strike, hitting four of them, sending them flying backwards. They quickly recouped and started to close in. Nicole looked at me, eyes wide. “RUN!”

I’m not leaving you!” I held up my staff and shot beams of black energy out. They just passed through them without a second thought. I did a double-take.

“They don’t want me!” she yelled, summoning a Fire Dragon. “They want you!”

And you acquired this specific information when? Or do you now suddenly have some Sue-ish clairvoyance that allows you to know when and if certain enemies are after you or if they’re after Malorn?

I summoned a Banshee and pointed it toward two of the wraiths in front of me. She started to scream as the wraiths fell back. “MALORN!”

The next few seconds were the longest of my life.

My head turned just as a wraith glided straight for me. I held my staff up and beams of black energy shot out when the wraith fell on top of me.

My staff exploded and the world went dark.

*In an undetermined world, a few hours later…*

“My boy…

I snapped my eyes shut as a piercing slap slashed across my right cheek. I kept my eyes glued to the floor.

“Time to wake up!

Uh, if his eyes were open, then wouldn’t he already be awake?

I looked up, shaking from the shock.

I was staring straight into my father’s glare.

“How are you, my son?”

Jfc what’s with him emphasising the last word in his sentences

I glared back, not even blinking. My arms were tied up to the ceiling by cables. The room was dark and cold, with only one light shining directly on me, the white walls on all sides seemed to close in.

*sigh* You can’t just switch tenses like that. You should have learned this by now, in school.

He tilted his head to the left slightly and narrowed his eyebrows.

His eyebrows.

“You know, this troubles me.” He moved his staff and turned his back from me. “Now, don’t try anything silly, my boy. You see, you are powerless here.” I harnessed as much energy as I could without my staff, but before I could even think about unleashing it, a current of energy shot down the cables and electrified my entire body. My arms and legs jerked around violently as the pressure in my face nearly reached a breaking point; just before it did, the shocks ceased and my body went limp. “If you couldn’t already tell, those are magical energy cables, and they will continue to shock you if you even think about using your magic against me. So I’ll have you know that I intend to break you, Malorn.” He walked to the door on the opposite side of the room. He turned back to me, and I glared into his eyes, struggling to control my breath.

“Defiant.”

He shut the door behind him.

I stared at the floor, my breaths were shallow. I knew what was going to happen if I didn’t hold onto myself. If I lost touch with who I am, I would have become the monster we all knew I was destined to be. But I wasn’t about to think about that. I needed to focus on the one thing that kept me safe from the horrors of the Spiral and insanity.

Nicole.

Date of death: 16 December, 2015

Cause of death: Crappily executed clichéd trope overdose.

*One week later…*

The door screeched open, and I knew what was coming.

“Hello Malorn! Good to see you again!” The whole week, he hadn’t come in the room. In fact, no one came in the room. No food. Only a few drops of water that drop out of the ceiling kept me alive.

Bitch do you even know how the human body fucking works??? Everyone over the age of 12 knows the basic time limit for survival without food is one week with water, and three days without. A few drops of water wouldn’t keep him alive, and any prison keeper with half a brain knows to supply their prisoner with at least enough food and water to keep them alive and draw out the torture. You literally said this is what Malistaire aimed to do.

I made no move to look at him. His cheery, condescending attitude pissed me the fuck off.

“Something wrong, my boy? Why won’t you look at your father?” He was toying with me, and I was growing angrier by the second. But I knew if I just rolled with the punches, he’d be kinder to me. “Is everything alright with school?” He paused as my nostrils flared. “Oh dear, you look rather weak…. Have you been eating right?” He waited before snapping his fingers.

The scent made my senses go wild.

I finally looked up without a second thought and saw a plate with meat. I didn’t care what it was. All I could think was, “Food.

“Oh! You want this?” he asked. I just kept staring at the plate. A fork appeared in his hand and He stabbed the slab of meat. “It just looks so very…delectable.” He raised it to his nose and took the deepest breath I’d ever seen and sighed heavily. He walked toward me and went to wave it under my nose, but I just snapped my head forward and tore a piece off with my teeth.

So you’re a snake now???

Humans are incapable of doing that kind of thing. When have you ever SEEN an actual human do that???

The speed made him drop the meat to the floor. “Tsk tsk, Malorn.” He reached down and stabbed it again with unnecessary force. Your food is going to go to waste now….” He clicked his fingers and the meat disappeared with the fork.

“What do you fucking want?” I snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Now, now, is that any way to address your father?” Immediately at the last word, the cables holding me upright attacked my body in a rage of magically energy. I yelled in obvious agony, my body contorting, insanely.

Nope. Too easy.

When the energy stopped flowing, I panted. “What…do you…want?”

“You.”

“No shit.” He simply raised his staff and shot me in the chest with a beam of energy.

“Still defiant, are we?”

“Just fucking tell me and I won’t keep ignoring you.”

When are you going to learn that swearing is not a writing device? Do you think it makes you look more mature, is that your problem? Or do you think it makes Malorn look stronger or edgier or more badass or some shit??? To both questions, the answer is no, it doesn’t.

“Fine then….” He walked away from me, pacing around the room. “Sigh….” Yes, he literally said it. I was seconds from screaming again. “You take all the fun out of everything. You see, I need your help.”

“Why would you need me?”

“There is someone in particular…that is getting in my way.”

Who?”

Your little pet.”

Nicole?!” I thought about Nicole, and her light, her beauty…utterly astonished.

*bangs head against desk until concussed*

“But why would-?” Then it hit me. “Her dad.”

“Ah! Now we have something to go on, don’t we?”

“The one that originally banished you from the Spiral…that was Nicole’s dad. I was right….” That also explained why her dad died in the process.

It really…doesn’t….

“You’re getting warmer, my boy. Why would I need you?”

“If her dad died but managed to defeat you…having me on your side….”

“Yes…?”

“Would guarantee your victory.”

WHY DIDN’T YOU FIGURE THAT OUT EARLIER??? WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD HE WANT YOU BUT TO SUCCEED IN CONQUERING THE SPIRAL???

“And there we are! You’ve figured it out!”

I started chuckling, then laughing, then full on hysterics. Malistare used the magical energy on me again and I stopped immediately.

“Why would you laugh at me?”

“Like I’d ever join you.”

“Oh, but you will!”

“Give me one good reason why I would?”

“You’re here.” He pointed at my cables. “Nicole is somewhere out there. How do you expect to save her when I just…?” He made his hand into a fist and magical energy glowed around his hand. “I could kill her in a heartbeat,” he said, his voice now harsh, dropping the fatherly approach. “Give me your choice.”

If she’s the only thing standing in your way and you have the ability to kill her easily, why have you not done so???

“You’d kill Nicole either way. The choice wouldn’t change anything.”

He smirked. “Oh, don’t be so sure. If you don’t join me willingly, I could just make you.

If you have the ability to force Malorn to join you easily, WHY HAVE YOU NOT DONE SO???

“You can’t control me.”

Are you sure Malorn? Do you really love her? It was his voice in my head. I tried to shake it, but it was like trying to block out a fog horn. She’s so frail. You could easily prove your worth and crush her! Her small little neck can be cracked if you just-

“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” I shouted at him. The voices ceased at once.

“You see what I can do to you now?” Malistare walked slowly to the door. “In due time, my son.”

*Two days later….*

The door was opening again. It didn’t even faze me. The footsteps were smaller and quickly paced. Once they were close enough, I heard a panicked voice.

OH GOLLY GOSH GEE I WONDER WHO IT COULD FUCKING BE

“Malorn? Malorn?! Malorn, we need to get you out of here!” A heard a faint flapping of wings to right of the girl, whoever she was.

it is a mystery

I still didn’t look up. “Malorn, are you alright? God, what did he do to you?” I felt a hand under my chin left up my head. “Open your eyes!”

My eyes opened.

I melted.

I literally just snorted oh my God that was such a hilarious and spectacularly poor choice of words

Her hair was pulled into a long braid behind her, and she was dressed in the black of the ninjas of MooShu. But as always, her blue eyes seemed to glisten with comfort of love and purity.

‘Comfort of love and purity’??? ‘Purity’???

“Nicole….” I rasped her name. “Get away from me. Get…out while you can.”

“No! I’m not leaving you!” She started to undo the cables, melting the cuffs with her fire magic. “This is gonna burn a little.”

“You don’t… you don’t understand….” How could I tell her that I could become Malistare’s pawn at any moment?

Well, for starters, I would try saying ‘I could become Malistaire’s pawn at any moment’. You’re always banging on about how strong she is—what, do you think she can’t handle it??? Pick an opinion, author.

“There’s no time!” The first cuff melted away.

“Malistare…. He can….”

“It’s okay, I’ll get you out of here.”

“Leave me.”

“No!”

“He can control me, Nicole!” I shouted with all of the energy left in me. She stopped melting the cuff and looked into my eyes. She searched them for something…anything but what she just heard.

“It won’t happen. I love you.”

And what in the seven bleeding Hells does that have to do with anything? What could possibly make you believe that your oh-so-important love for Malorn is all that’s needed to stop Malistaire from utilising this nonsense power he apparently has over Malorn? Bitch get the fuck over yourself!

“My fiery light…” I said, putting it as gently as possible,

*projectile vomits into bucket*

“I love you more than anything. But if you let me go, I could kill you.”

“I’m going to save you. I’ll do anything.” There was no use. I’d have to let her take me. The second cuff melted off. I fell to the ground and groaned. I got on my hands and knees with Nicole helping me up. “I know it hurts. Come on, there’s not much time.” She stood me up with my arm draped over her shoulder. Sir Chester flew under my other arm, holding me around his slim neck.

YOU!” Malistare roared with a slam of the door hitting the wall. His eyes turned completely black, not even the outer rim of his eyes showing white. He started to charge at us, but Nicole shot out fire blasts faster than he could run. He dodged some and got singed by others. Nicole clasped her eyes shut, and just as his hand reached out to grab me, we teleported away in a mist of flame.

*In MooShu, seconds later…*

We appeared in the main courtyard of the palace.

“Ugh….” Nicole groaned and collapsed to the floor. I rolled away from her without any energy left.

“Nicole….” I reached out for her.

All of a sudden, a magical mist formed around her, and fiery red-orange wings erupted from her back. My eyes widened as she slowly got on her hands and knees, then glided toward me with her wings. She picked me up in her arms and with Sir Chester fluttering behind, and flew quickly back to the hut.

WHY THE FUCK WERE THE WINGS NECESSARY?!! I—JESUS I CAN’T EVEN PUT WORDS TOGETHER TO DESCRIBE HOW UNNECESSARY AND HORRIBLE THIS IS I’M SO MAD

“How did you…?”

“I got a few tips from Ambrose….” She trailed off, focusing on the hut ahead of us. “He told me that my dad used wings too. He genetically enhanced his own wings and coded it into his own DNA using magic, and passed it onto me. Technically, any wizard can have them, but it’s less common with all the newly discovered magical creatures people use to get around. I find these easier though…and less hazardous to the magical creatures.”

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

“He’s alive?” All I could process was that she spoke to Ambrose. I cared about her dad, but I was in too much of a fog to think about that. I thought that after that one time Ambrose spoke to us, he was gone.

“Yeah…. I’ll tell you more another time.” She looked down at me and smiled weakly. The tears in her eyes made me realize what my absence had done to her.

The smiled sparked something in me. It was there before, but faint. Now it was a warm glow.

“I’ll never leave you, Nicole. I will never hurt you. I love you.”

*head falls onto desk in exhaustion and nausea*

*muffled voice* I’m done. Goodbye.

We arrived at the hut and she flew me into the bedroom, resting me on the cot.

“Rest now.” She stroked my hair. “I love you too.”

Thank you all for staying with my story! I love you all! Posting will definitely be more frequent now

It’s been a literal year and more since you posted this, I guess we see how that turned out.

Jesus Christ I’m finally done—if she ever does post another chapter, which I severely doubt, since she’s been inactive for quite a while, I hope there’ll be more to work with. Why I spent two and a half years picking over this wretched thing…ah well, at least it was fun! ‘Til next time, O my brothers.

–Bishop

Crapfic #7: The Flames of Death: A Malorn AshThorn Story by Nikaya, Chapter 10

I’m sorry I haven’t updated in—what, three months? Although my only reader probably no longer cares, since her friend and I had a recent-ish tie-cutting…. Whatever. In other news I recently made relatively significant progress in one of my stories. And nobody still cares. Anyways, this is chapter ten and it is still sickening, boring, and utterly pointless. Thankfully she hasn’t updated yet. First chapter here, previous chapter here. ON AND WARDS!

Chapter Ten: The War

It’s been about two more months that we’ve spent here in Marleybone.

And it’s been two more months that I’ve not cared.

We’ve fallen into a nice routine, and we don’t think too much about why we’re there. We just go with the flow nowadays.

Nicole has been getting stronger with her ability in visions. She’s been having them regularly about various things, none related to Malistare, of course. But she always has the one recurring vision of us running away from something.

Again I say. That’s just remembering.

I finish getting dressed and stride over to where Nicole is pulling on her shirt.

The fuck are you two doing in the same room while changing?

When she pops her head through the hole, I kiss her right on the lips. She giggles and kisses me back. My cheeks get hot every time.

And my stomach churns every time.

“Come on, we’re gonna be late,” Nicole urged me to move. I just stood there and stared at her with my head tilted. “Wh-?” Before she could even finish the thought, I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into me. I picked her up and swung her around in the air, kissing her the entire time. I set her down, still kissing her, and finally I pulled away.

She slapped my arm, playfully.

I could write less sickening fluff between Malorn and Penny than this!

“Now we’re really going to be late!” She started rushing around the room, getting her things by using magic to float them into her backpack.

But he only kissed you for a few seconds??? Have you no concept of time?

I laughed at her as I finished getting ready. She stood by the stairs impatiently.

“Come on, Malorn,” she breathed, shaking her head. We walked downstairs and out the door. I called on Kalohae and we started flying to Barkingham Palace.

“See, we’re flying now,” I told her. I gave Kalohae a little pat on the butt. “He’ll get us there in-” but my train of thought was halted.

There’s a difference between losing your train of thought and stopping in the middle of your sentence, Nicole.

I looked back at Nicole and saw her staring into space.

She was having that vision again.

When she has it, I can tell by the way her body goes colder than her other visions and how she winces at times when I assume we’re screaming in the vision. But I don’t tell her that she reacts this way. I don’t want to scare her.

Her body goes cold? And what do you mean other visions? I thought you said she had the same one every time. Make up your mind and sort out your fic. And if this girl can be scared by being told she simply winces at something perfectly reasonable to wince at, she really does not belong on the battlefield.

Nicole snaps out of it, panting. This is typical for this vision.

“Same as usual?” I asked, thoughtfully.

“No.”

I thought for a second. Nicole didn’t say anything.

Thought about what? And those two sentences were completely unrelated. Stuff like this is unnecessarily random and simply makes things confusing.

“No. It was different this time.” A shiver went down my spine. Her words were cold…emotionless. “This time… it was vivid. I could see us running from a fire. There was a black fog behind us. We jump onto Kalohae. And I’m the one directing which way to go. You’re in pain.”

You can’t just switch tenses like that, girlie. How much attention did you pay in Language Arts?

“Nicole…” I don’t know what else to say. I was more worried than when the vision was blurred. Now we knew it meant something serious…

And if I was in pain, I wouldn’t be able to protect Nicole.

Pain doesn’t necessarily mean incapacitation.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you. Now you’ll be worried about it.” She let her head drop.

“Nicole, sure I’m worried. But it’s better to have a warning of what’s coming than to be totally in the dark about it, am I right?” Nicole looked up at me, hopeful.

“I guess you are right.”

“See? It’ll be fine.” I kissed her on the lips and let Kalohae land. I hopped off and held out my hand to Nicole. She took it and hopped down. “It’ll be okay. I promise.” I smiled at her, and she smiled back. She turned to walk in the gate, and my smile faded.

Hold up. Wait. What? When did you climb onto Kalohae? I thought you were about to and then she had the vision? It’s literally less than a page above, even counting my comments. Do you not read your own work over again?

I hoped I was right.

*After class, back at the apartment…*

THERE ARE MORE ELEGANT WAYS TO INDICATE A LOCATION AND TIME CHANGE, DARLING.

Nicole is working on her fire spells at the desk and I’m lying in bed, petting Chester.

“What are you working on?”

“I wanted to try something…” she trailed off, getting back to her work.

“Come on, what is it?” I see a pool of orange and red magic swirling on the desk in front of her. Small sparks of fire are shooting up from it.

This??? Is not how magic works???

“I’m attempting to make a new spell…”

“A new spell?”

You can’t just invent a new spell. What are you now, a Master? Less?

“I’m trying to combine my visions with a fire spell. I was to make it so that I can project my visions when I want to rather than just trying to explain them all the time. I want to be able to show them to you…” She was concentrating really hard. “I’ve almost got it…”

How would that even work? What would the card look like? Why would it be a Fire spell?

“That’s a great idea,” I told her. I stood up from the bed and patted her shoulder, kissing her on the head. Chester flew onto her other shoulder. “You’ll get it. You’re smart enough to do it.” I watched her for a minute, and she let out a yelp. “What’s wrong?!”

Malorn! Nicole! Can you hear me in your thoughts? It was Ambrose’s voice. Nicole and I looked at each other and we knew we heard the same thought in our heads.

“We can hear you,” I said out loud. Something was wrong, I could already tell. “Why are you contacting us?”

It is a dire emergency. I’m afraid I have very little time to explain. I bring horrible news. It is as we feared. Malistare has raised an army and Krokotopia has fallen to Malistare.

Nicole and I went wide-eyed. We knew what it meant.

Really? Well then could you explain it to me?

We are at war, young students. I am gathering forces here at Ravenwood, but the school is under attack.

“No!” Nicole called out. In my heart, I felt a pang of pain for her. Ravenwood was her only true home where she fit in.

Oh, I’m so sorry. Let me play you a song on the world’s smallest violin.

I’m afraid so, young one. But it shall be saved. If Wizard City falls, you two are our only hope.

“No!” I protested. “We’ll come to help defend Wizard City! We won’t let Malistare-“

No. That is exactly why I sent you two away. If Wizard City was to be attacked, you two must be far away. Our job here is to protect this world in the Spiral. Your job is to live. No. That is exactly why I sent you two away. If Wizard City was to be attacked, you two must be far away. Our job here is to protect this world in the Spiral. Your job is to live. You two must stay alive in order to defeat Malistare when he is weak.

*record stop* Wait. What? What was that? What was that thing that just happened there? No, I don’t believe it…SHE ACTUALLY REPEATED HER ENTIRE PARAGRAPH OVER AGAIN. BECAUSE WHAT IS PROOFREADING.

“And how are we supposed to do that?” I asked, skeptically.

You must flee to Mooshu. Stay together, and Nicole, you must protect Malorn from-!

“Professor! Professor!” Nicole called. But his thoughts were already gone. We had no idea what had happened. Nicole and I looked to each other.

“You have to protect me?” I asked her. “I thought I was supposed to protect you! You’re the one whose dad defeated Malistare the first time! I thought you’d be the prime target!” I started pacing, thinking of how she could protect me. “How long have you known about this?!” I yelled in her face. “You knew you were supposed to protect me! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

HOW THE FUCK COULD SHE HAVE ALREADY KNOWN? I think Malorn exhibits some traits of an abusive partner, Nicole.

“Malorn, I didn’t know! If I’d had known, I’d-” Nicole gasped. And in a blink, she leapt out of her chair and tackled me and Chester to the floor as she waved her staff, putting a shield up over the building. She stayed on top of me, and suddenly, I heard a hissing –

An explosion.

That’s not the way to indicate a hissing and then an explosion. And that’s not how shields work???

My mind was separated from my body as I felt the three of us, Nicole, Chester and I were flung into the air, and thrown against the door. I hit the ground, face-down, and the ringing in my ears was deafening. I couldn’t hear anything else. I put my hands on the floor, and tried to push up and collapsed.

How would that separate your mind from your body? I know he means it figuratively, but that’s what I mean?

All of a sudden, my head started to pound. It felt as if it was cracking open right down the middle. Everything was spinning and I clenched my eyes shut.

I felt something shaking me. I cracked open an eye and saw Nicole, covered in soot and blood, pulling on my shoulder, yelling in my face. I couldn’t hear anything but the ringing in my ear, but I read her lips, and they read, “Colemans.” She pulled me up and we ran down the hall, or what was left of it, and grabbed Mr. and Mrs. Coleman and dragged them down the stairs. The smoke throughout the house stung my eyes as they teared, along with the intense pain and ringing in my head. We dragged them out of the house and checked their pulses. They were alive, and I vaguely recognized Mr. Coleman coming to. But Nicole was in my face again, grabbing at my arm, pulling me to move.

I ran with Nicole pulling on my arm, and I saw Chester, unconscious in Nicole’s other arm. Nicole kept looking back and getting more and more scared. But the words on her lips read, “Don’t look back!

I could already tell that I was living Nicole’s horrid vision.

And you hadn’t figured that out already?

I dropped to the ground. I couldn’t move. Pain gripped my entire being and I was twitching on the cobblestone street. It was blinding. It was deafening. I thought I was going to die.

I felt my body move as I laid there in my world of hurt, but not by my own doing. I was being dragged on the street, and then I was lifted up. I felt the scales of Kalohae beneath me and knew Nicole was doing it on her own.

I continued to convulse in agony, but Nicole held my body down, making sure I didn’t fall. I was lying in her lap as Kalohae flew…

Then I blacked out.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU SPECIFICALLY THAT YOU WERE AFFECTED SO STRONGLY BY AN EXPLOSION AND SHE WASN’T?

*A few hours later…*

I groaned as my eyes started to flutter open. It felt like I was hit with a truck.

I sat upright, slowly as I held my head, careful not to black out again. The images of what happened came rushing back to me, almost knocking me over. I stood up from the mattress and looked around.

That implies that you stood on the bed.

I was in what looked like a wooden hut. The room was decorated very simply, with an area rug covering most of the floor, vases in the corners, and several mattresses with blankets on the floor. There were small lanterns around the room, lighting it dimly. In the mattress to my left, I noticed Nicole’s backpack with Chester sound asleep next to it. But he wasn’t curled up as usual. He was sprawled on her pillow… It worried me.

You could be worried by an oddly shaped stone.

Kalohae was curled up in the mattress to my right, and he barely fit on it…well, two mattresses.

I walked over the sliding paper door opposite my mattress and walked into a kitchen/dining area.

There was a goat-woman making something at the stove. It smelled like chicken soup. Her ears perked up when I slid the door shut behind me and she turned to me.

“Hello, child,” she said in a soft, soothing voice. “I’m almost done with supper. Your friend is worried about you.”

I nodded, understanding. Then I bowed to her in respect. “Thank you for helping us.” She smiled at me and eyed the door leading outside. It was open, and Nicole sat on the steps, staring up at the stars. Outside was lit dimly also by lantern light and the stars. I walked over and sat to Nicole’s left.

“Thank you,” I said to her. “I owe you my life.” She was quiet for a minute, and when I looked to her, I saw a tear roll down her cheek.

“Don’t thank me.” She leaned into me and buried her face into my chest and sobbed. I hugged her and rubbed her back, soothing her. She muttered something.

Oh what, does she think it’s her fault? Yes, how dare a thirteen-year-old be unable to completely protect a fifteen-year-old (still waiting for Malorn’s birthday) from a huge and devastating explosion.

“Huh?”

She pulled back and looked at me with red eyes. “I thought I was going to lose you!” she whimpered through sobs. I pulled her chin close my face and kissed her lips softly.

I looked her in the eyes. “You will never lose me. I promise.” I wiped the tear that started to roll down her cheek and kissed her there. She smiled a sad smile, and I pulled her in to hug me again.

We sighed in relief together.

This story is far from over! Stay tuned for more!

I somehow doubt that, honey. And you should distinguish story text from author’s notes by putting A/N before them.

Well, this was still awful. I’m out. Bye.

~Mary-Sue

Continue reading.

Crapfic #7: The Flames of Death: A Malorn AshThorn Story by Nikaya, Chapter 9

Jesus Christ, this chapter is even more boring than the last one, save for some more creepiness at the end. It’s mostly filler! What the damn Hell am I supposed to do with FILLER, other than point out that it’s just FILLER? I asked Skep what I should do, and he said it was tough, that I could maybe cut some of the text and summarise what happened so I could get to an easier part, but I can’t do that because I want you guys to see the whole thing in all its stupid glory, so I apologise if there are some long stretches where I go without saying anything, or some strained remarks, but I’ll try my best. OWNRDAS! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

Chapter Nine: The Intensity

What the fuck is this, Seinfeld? What’s up with every chapter beginning with the word “The”?

“Malorn…? Malorn…? Wake up…” I heard my name before feeling a softness on my cheek.

Ew.

(Fun fact, I accidentally made that all caps. It was much funnier, but a wee bit strong.)

I opened my eyes, seeing Nicole sitting up in bed next to me.

She looked so beautiful in her night time attire…but it was light out.

Shit.” I rolled over to face the wall, covering my face with the blanket. It was early.

Thank you Captain Obvious.

And we had to get up.

“Good morning to you too, Mr. Grumpy.” Nicole giggled and gave me a small shove. “Come on, you have to take me to lessons in an hour.”

I groaned. Then I heard Nicole whisper to Chester. My eyes popped open.

Chester landed on my head above the blanket and gripped edge where my head was. He flew forward and over the bed, taking the blanket with him. I was lying in bed, curled up in my boxers, freezing my freakin’ ass off.

Minor cursing?

I glared daggers at Chester.

“Don’t be mad at him; I told him to,” Nicole said, happily. “Now up you get!”

And there’s the thing about Fire School kids. They’re morning people.

Cute headcanon. Where’d you get it, the Wizard101 Fanfic Cliché Emporium?

“I hate you…” I grumbled.

“Love you too!” she said cheerily.

“I know,” I said with a wink.

*Later that morning…*

“Ready to leave yet?” I called up to Nicole. I was waiting at the bottom of the steps.

“Ready!” she called. I turned around.

She was dressed in a long, red gown that went straight to her feet. She glided down the stairs. I believe it was called, “Bellow’s Robe of Courtesy.” And her hat remained “Brady’s Solar Cowl” designed.

I was so stunned, I didn’t even comment at first. “You look great.”

You should be used to this by now, Malorn.

“Thank you… Aren’t you going to change?”

“Uh…why?”

“Well, we kind of need to blend in here, so I brought clothes from every world, just in case.”

“Oh…” Crap.

“That’s alright my boy,” Mr. Coleman said, calling me from the top of the stairs. I have something for you as well.

When I came back downstairs, I was dressed in, “Marvelous Shroud.” I had to change my signature hat to “Feline’s Somber Hat.”

These are all real clothes, by the way, you can look for them at the Bazaar.

“Not bad,” Nicole said with a judging look. I blushed. “Come on, I’m gonna be late!” She grabbed my arm and pulled me out the door.

Nicole carried her staff in one hand, and looped free arm in mine. We walked together swiftly but calmly through the streets of the city. I could tell Nicole loved it by the way she beamed.

Yes, the constant threat of being snatched up by an O’Leary and turned over to Malistaire just makes me melt inside.

“And here we are,” I told her. The guards opened the gate and led her inside. I turned to leave with a smile on my face.

“Wait!” Nicole came running back out and kissed my cheek. She winked at me and ran back inside.

My head spun.

Mine too. I think I’m gonna be sick.

When I got back to the apartment, I greeted Mr. Coleman and started heading up the stairs.

“Forgetting something?” he mused. I came back down the stairs and felt like punching myself. He was holding a bag of envelopes. “First day on the job!” he said cheerily.

“Right…”

“Every day I’ll give you a bag like this big one here. Once you deliver all of them for the day, you’re done. Do them at your own pace.”

“That’s it?”

“Well there’s quite a lot of letters in there. And it’s about quarter to ten now. I expect you’ll be done by around one thirty. Nicole’s lessons end at two, so best to hurry up!”

Well, he didn’t know my secret weapon.

I stepped outside and whistled for Kalohae. He appeared in a mist of skulls.

“Mist of Skulls”. Sounds like some shitty emo band. Then again, so does “Flames of Death”.

“Alright, man. Let’s get through these letters.”

*Four hours later…*

“Oh my god…” Kalohae and I sat down on a park bench. “How many more?” I dug through the bag. There were about 20 left. “What time is it?” I looked at Big Ben. It was quarter to two. “Shit! Shit-shit-shit!”

MINOR FUCKING CURSING???

I jumped on Kalohae and flew as fast as I could to Barkingham Palace. When I got there, Nicole was waiting for me.

It took him fifteen minutes to get from one part of Regent’s Square to Barkingham Palace? I can run all over the damn place in less than that, even without a mount.

“I’m sorry! How long were you standing there?”

“About ten seconds. Right on time.” She smiled at me. I wiped my forehead. Then I held out my hand to her and helped her onto Kalohae. He protested with a grunt out of sheer exhaustion. “Quiet you,” I hissed.

“So how were your lessons?” I asked, leading Kalohae back to the apartment.

“Great…”

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

“Well, the thing is, my instructor taught me a new fire spell… But she also asked me about the vision I had.”

“How did she know?”

“She said she talked to Professor Ambrose about me. And she knows that I have other powers I can unlock.” She put air-quotes around “other.”

OF COURSE SHE HAS OTHER POWERS SHE’S A GODDAMN SUE

I squinted my eyes. I wasn’t so sure if I liked this. I knew I had other powers too. But I didn’t know if unlocking them was the best idea in the Spiral.

“Do you trust her?” I asked.

“She knows Professor Ambrose. I have to.”

“Then do what she thinks is best. If unlocking these powers means protecting yourself from my father, then do it.”

Then it hit me.

She has powers to unlock. So do I. My dad fought her dad…

Since when?!

I shook it off. I didn’t want to scare her.

What? What’s happening? You may think you’re being mysterious, but you’re being just plain vague. Here’s the difference. With mysteriousness: The readers already have a sneaking suspicion or two of what’s going to happen next. With this: I have absolutely no idea. None.

“Thanks Malorn.” She hugged me tighter. I kissed her head.

When we got back to the apartment, she was ready to head upstairs.

“Coming?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I was about to follow when Andy eyed me. “Actually, I’ll meet you up there in a bit. I promised Mr. Coleman I’d get some groceries for him at the market.”

Nicole smiled at me. “Okay, see you soon.”

I heaved a sigh.

And so, out we went…again.

*The next morning…*

Nicole and I were riding Kalohae to Barkingham Palace, and I wanted to ask her about our dads. Maybe there was a connection to our powers.

But then she smiled at me.

And I knew I couldn’t do anything to let that smile go.

OH NO YOU’RE BEING HYPNOTISED

So I smiled back and dropped her off. She kissed me on her way, and away she went.

Four months had now gone by, and finally, I was learning a better way with going about the mail route. Before I’d leave, I’d sort all the damn letters and deliver them according to wear people lived and I’d be done by one.

As for Nicole, she learned more and more about her visions, and her instructor told her to force herself to have a vision once every lesson. She was now at the point where she could have them at will. I never asked her what they were about because it was the same thing every time, and she’d always tell me immediately after the lesson anyway.

“It happened again,” she told me, getting onto Kalohae.

The vision was the same every time.

That’s not “having another vision”. That’s just remembering.

Only in the beginning it was just voices. Now there were some blurry images.

The two of us would scream, and have to run as fast as we could. She’d hear me yelling to her, “Don’t look back!” And then it would end.

“I figured that.” I said.

But as dark as these times were, it was relaxing for us.

Since we were finished so early in the day, we did so much together.

Some nights we’d go to the park again and lay in the grass, watching the stars. Sometimes we went to the theater to see a play. Other times we went to the museum. A lot of the time we’d go out to dinner as well. And the other times we’d eat dinner with the Colemans.

Because this is so fucking relevant to the plot.

And no matter where we were, who we were with, and how late it was, she’d always make me smile.

She came up with this poking game, so whenever she wanted to tell me she was having a good time, or wanted a kiss, she’d poke me. Then I started doing it to her… And I took a little advantage of it.

Please don’t mean what I think you mean….

But every night, we’d always lie in bed next to each other, watching each other to see who fell asleep first.

I loved watching her sleep.

Because you are a stalker.

She always looked so peaceful…so happy…so beautiful. I loved every minute of it.

And tonight, was a very different night.

It was a mid-winter evening with snow on the ground and flurries in the air. We strolled through the park together holding hands. We kissed in the snow and had a great time. When we got back, the Colemans and Chester were asleep, so I made some hot chocolate for us and we snuggled by the fireplace.

When it was time for bed, we got dressed and I was surprised that Nicole wasn’t wearing a sweatshirt because it was so cold out. She caught me eyeing her. “I wanted to get cozy with you.”

“That’s fine by me.”

We crawled into bed together and I pulled her close to me. I lay on my side with her on her side with her back against my bare chest. She was still wearing a t-shirt of course.

“I love you.”

She had said it to me before, but the intensity of this moment between us was chilling.

“I love you too,” I replied softly.

What I didn’t expect is what happened next.

She turned over, and started kissing me. But this time, it was different. It was rougher and fiercer…with a new kind of fire.

I pulled her closer, holding her around her waist as she kissed my lips harder and traced her hands all along my face.

*mother voice* And just what do you kids think you’re doing?!

I felt one of her hands tug at her own shirt as the bottom, but I stopped her with my hand.

I pulled away for a second and looked into her eyes.

“It’s just a shirt,” she said, quietly. “And I’m not taking it off.” I let her move it just a small bit out of the way, to reveal her mid-torso. “Just a little…step up?” she said it so meekly that I almost had to laugh.

SHE’S THIRTEEN. The only “step up” you guys should be taking is kissing in front of other people.

“If that’s what you want, then that’s what you’ll get,” I replied. “I just want you to tell me what you want.” She smiled at me, shyly. Then I realized what was still wrong. “You have a beautiful body.” I felt her relax in my arms, and then we stopped kissing, but I pulled her close.

We stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s arms the whole night.

Well that was boring and gross. I HATE THIS NEW MICROSOFT WORD THERE ARE SO MANY FUCKING PROGRAMMING ERRORS JUUUUUUUUUGH

Continue reading.

~Mary-Sue

Some inconsistencies I had missed until now

I’ve been rereading my MSTs of The Flames of Death: A Malorn AshThorn Story, and I’m finding things I’ve missed before.

1. You explained in the second chapter that you had a sister. Then suddenly in the sixth chapter Cole was your brother, and in the seventh you had forgotten all about your sister…?

2. Over a year has passed from chapter 1 to chapter 8. That explains Nicole turning thirteen. But why hasn’t Malorn turned sixteen yet?

3. Malorn didn’t even know Earth existed when Nicole was explaining her past. But then he asked her why she wasn’t going to Hogwarts instead. How could he know about Hogwarts if he didn’t even know about Earth?

4. The postal office where Andrew Coleman works is all the way on the other side of Regent’s Square. And yet she writes it as if it were only a few doors away. There is indeed a post office right near the Abbey, but it is the one where George Dowgate works.

5. In chapter 10 you guys had to run, and you realised you were living Nicole’s vision when she said ‘Don’t look back’. But in chapter 9, you said her vision was always the same, and that she said she could hear you yelling to her ‘Don’t look back’.

I can’t think of anything else right now, but I’ll add things when I see them. How about you? Is there anything you’ve seen that I’ve missed?

–Bishop

Crapfic #7: The Flames of Death: A Malorn AshThorn Story by Nikaya, Chapter 8

Hey guys, sorry I haven’t updated in a long time, but this chapter is just so fucking boring I didn’t even know what to say about most of it. It’s pretty much just them wandering around Marleybone at night and him telling us how perfect she is and how great he feels around her and how much he loves her and basically just the usual shit. First chapter here, previous chapter here. !SDRAWNO

Hey everyone!

Be sure to check out my twitter profile to know when I’ll be posting! That’ll be my main method of telling everyone when to expect a new chapter.

Nobody cares.

Also, good news is that I’m getting out about one chapter a week or every two weeks, which is good now, considering how I used to be. XP

Well that’s shot to Hell, now she’s right back to how I assume she “used to be”.

Also, check out my friend embraceofwings! He’s a great writer and his story is really interesting even if you haven’t read the books. I haven’t and I love it so far! So please help him get started, review a chapter and thanks for reading!

Promoting a friend’s work in your own, trés unprofessional. You could at least have put it on your profile.

Chapter Eight: The Quiet

I held Nicole’s hand as I finally felt my feet touch the floor. We stumbled but quickly recovered. I looked around and saw that we were in a large chapel, dimly lit with stain glass windows and rows of pews. I pushed open the huge wooden doors, and there was a Marleybone guard at the entrance. Nicole walked along next to me when I introduced us.

If he’s been here before, then he would already know that the Spiral Door is in Wolfminster Abbey. And Private Kinchley is inside the Abbey.

“Private Kinchley,” I said with a curt nod. He nodded back.

“How ya doing?” he replied in a deep tone as we followed him to the apartment. He’d grown gray with strain from being so active with the new war going on.

“Not so hot… You know the story don’t you?”

“You mean the story about how this girl”—Private Kinchley looked at Nicole with disdain—“turned our own story upside down by making herself the center of everything, destroying your pleasant personality, somehow blaming Sylvia’s death—which deeply upset Malistaire, due to this one little detail that he loved her very much—on Malistaire, and managing to make you related to the Drakes, Falmea, and Greyrose all at once?”

He sighed. “Yeah… I meant otherwise, I suppose. How’s mother?”

“She’s well, thank you. She says hello.” I had known Private Kinchley since I was little. I always said hi to him when I visited Marleybone and he knew my mom…well, Dalia, since they were young. As we talked, Nicole just looked around, stunned at the big city.

“Here we are,” he said, stopping at a door. He knocked twice. In a few seconds, none other than Andrew Coleman opened the door, removing his glasses.

How, if Ambrose is the only one who knew Coleman, would you know it was him?

“Good day! Good day! Hello Malorn, my boy!” He greeted me with a hug and shook Private’s hand vigorously. “My, you’ve grown!” He stepped back and examined Nicole. “Why hello there,” he said, taking her hand. “You must be the Nicole I’ve heard so much about.”

And how would he already know who you are, and have heard so much about Nicole?

“Yes! Nice to meet you!” she said, sweet as always.

Ugh.

“Thank you very much Private. I’ll be seeing you,” he said with a smile. Private Kinchley gave us both a nod and a small smile, shutting the door behind him.

“Well now…certainly you have bags, no?” he asked. Nicole and I glanced at each other.

“Sir, we were told to only carry what we could on our backs,” I said for us.

“Well that’s no problem at all! Let me show you to your room!”

“Thank you Mr. Coleman,” Nicole said quietly.

“Please! Call me Andy!” He started up the stairs when I saw something move in Nicole’s bag.

“What is that?” I asked, pointing to the bag.

It’s the real you, trying to escape.

Nicole put her finger over her lips as if to quiet down.

WELL WHY THE HELL ELSE WOULD ANYONE PUT THEIR FINGER TO THEIR LIPS?

“Here we are! First down on the right is the bathroom, and the one at the end is mine and my wife’s room. The one on the left is yours.”

“Thank you, Andy,” I said with a smile. Nicole smiled too.

“I’ll be downstairs if you need me. I’ll call you down the hall to the dining room at six. My wife is quite the lovely cook! Oh! And before I forget! Nicole, dear, your lessons begin tomorrow morning at nine, sharp! Best to be on time, you know, and they will end at noon. And Malorn, my boy, your mother informed me that you wished to volunteer to bring Nicole back and forth as well as helping me in my office. Work will begin at ten, but I’ll only make you work for a few hours. See you in an hour!” And he scurried off in a rush.

I closed the door behind us.

“I didn’t know you volunteered to work for him,” Nicole commented.

“Neither did I…” I said with an eye roll. Then I moved toward the bag she left on the bed, but Nicole quickly snatched it away.

“Please don’t kill me,” she said with a guilty grin on her face. I looked her over, though she’s naturally tiny to start with, she was still thin as bones from her…time away. How could I? Though, I know it’s not what she meant.

Yes, yes, you could never kill her, nothing is new, but could you please kill me? This story is torture.

“What is it…?” She opened the pullstring slowly, and, as I guess, out flew Sir Chester, her baby dragon. “You’re insane,” I added, dully.

“I couldn’t leave him home! He’s just a baby!” she said, petting his blue head as he fluttered his red wings, smiling.

“Fine!” I said, throwing my hands in the air. “But if you get caught, I’m not taking the blame for you!”

“I don’t care. As long as he’s safe with me.”

But he’s not safe with you. You’re the target. He’s in danger while he’s with you. He would be safer at home, dillweed.

“I’ve got news for you, he’s probably in more danger with us than with your other pets at home.”

See? Listen to the boy!

“I still want to take care of him. And now that you know he’s here, I don’t have to carry him on my back. And he’s not mischievous. I’ve got plenty of snacks to last him for months anyway.”

But if Sir Chester requires your care, then what about your other pets? And it doesn’t matter if he’s not mischievous or if you don’t have to carry him anymore, he’s still in danger.

“Alright…” I said. I threw my bag in the bottom of the closet, waves my wand over it and all my equipment and clothes folded and stacked themselves neatly on the shelves. I turned around, and watched as Nicole stared at the bed.

Then it hit me.

The bed.

Oh God please no

It was a double.

There was only one.

My face turned red, and to cover it up, I grabbed Nicole’s bag, throwing it onto the dresser and did the same trick to arrange her stuff. When I turned around, she must have stopped staring because she was petting Chester. I wiped my forehead.

I walked over to the window and saw the city streets with shops and apartments all around us. In the distance, I saw green…a park.

“Hey Nicole,” I said, pointing out the window. “You see that over there?”

Nicole walked over and looked out the window, smiling. “The park?”

“Yeah… Would you join me for a date tonight?”

“I’d love to!”

Our first date to a city park…

Perfect.

*One hour later*

I was still praying that there wouldn’t be a sex scene between a 13-year-old and a 15-year-old.

Nicole and I sat across from Andrew and his wife, Malinda as we ate dinner. We had mashed potatoes with bread and chicken soup.

“It’s delicious,” I said, going for another mouth-full. Nicole smacked my arm under the table. I ate slower.

Malinda and Andrew laughed at that. “Well aren’t you two the sweetest couple,” she said. Nicole and I blushed.

And of course, I heard a small whimper coming from down the hall, followed by the sound of flapping wings. Nicole and I shared a glance.

Why of course?

“What was that, darling?” Malinda asked Andrew. He shrugged, with mouth full of soup.

And then Chester comes flying into the room and perches on Nicole’s shoulder. Her eyes widened and she shrugged. “Haha…surprise?”

“Oh, don’t be silly! Your pet dragon is more than welcome! Here, have some bread.” He held it out to Chester, which was immediately followed by the dragon making toast out of it, and eating it whole.

“Quite an amusing little fellow, isn’t he?” he said, dusting off leftover crumbs.

“Indeed,” I said with an eye roll. Nicole shrugged with a smirk.

*Two hours later*

Nicole and I walked to the park, late at night. By this time on a weeknight, most people were at home, but we decided to spend it together.

It was quiet, other than the late-night creatures roaming the woods: various pixies, piggles, and firecats. You could hear the occasion howl of the hellhound in the distance, but it was all very relaxed. The pathway was lit by streetlamps and the stars shown bright overhead.

All of those are either pets, spells, or both. You won’t just be running through Marleybone and see a Stray Piggle fly by. The closest thing to wild animals in Marleybone is the Stray Sunbirds, and those are hostile.

Nicole was amazing at how beautiful a magical park was as opposed to the ones she knew from Earth. I slowly touched her hand, and when she smiled at me, I held hers in mine. We walked around for a few minutes, as she stared at the magical creatures and I stared at her. Every so often I’d squeeze her hand gently and smile at her or kiss her hand. She smiled or giggled at everything I did.

We walked in comfortable silence. And somehow, I felt… at peace… whole, with her around. I felt as if I could fly, (unmagically) with her. And I just felt…calm.

I didn’t feel the anger or pain. I didn’t feel some weird, ultra-power that I was supposed to have. Nicole just lets me be…me… But a newer, happier me.

WHAT

THE

FUCK

ELSE

IS

NEW

I stopped walking and she stopped too. I turned to her and just leaned my forehead on hers with our eyes closed. Then we stared at each other for a long moment…

Nicole closed the space between us with a kiss.

A slow, out of this world, amazing kiss.

*Later that night*

Nicole and I got back to the house late, so we just teleported to the bedroom. I took off my hat, robes and shoes and turned to get in the bed in red boxers. Nicole was just taking out new clothes.

…What are you planning? Even if I normally slept naked I would wear pyjamas if I was sharing a bed with someone I wasn’t very—and I mean very—romantically close with.

“What’s that for?” I asked.

She shrugged. Then it clicked. She’s nervous.

“Oh… Sorry,” I said, rubbing the back of my head.

“No, no, it’s okay!” she said, blushing. “I’ll get changed and be right back.”

A few minutes later, she came back in the room. I sat up in bed. She wore my old black t-shirt and some blue shorts. She, as usual, looked pretty sexy… But hey, the less clothes, the better.

OH MY GOD SHE IS THIRTEEN!!!

I patted the bed next to me. Her eyes widened, but she slowly came over. She pulled the blanket over her legs and sat up. I put my arm around her shoulders…she was practically shaking.

“Hey, no need to be nervous,” I said. She wouldn’t look at me. “Are you scared?” She turned away.

I took my hand and gently touched her chin, guiding her to face me. “I will never hurt you. I promise you that. Nor will I ever let any harm come to you. Do you understand me?” She smiled and nodded.

“I’m sorry… It’s just… I didn’t expect…”

“To be honest, neither did I. And I wasn’t planning on trying anything, any time soon.

THEN WHAT WAS WITH THAT “THE LESS CLOTHES, THE BETTER” COMMENT?!

When you’re older maybe,” I stopped when I said that because I could swear I saw a trace of disappointment. My heart leapt. “Or when you’re ready,” I added with a sincere smile.

NO! NOT JUST WHEN SHE THINKS SHE’S READY! WHEN SHE’S OLDER! A LOT OLDER! I WAS OLDER THAN BOTH OF YOU, AND HAD BEEN IN MORE RELATIONSHIPS TOO, BEFORE I WAS READY! NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! NO! NO, NO, NO!

She smiled back. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She wrapped her hands around my neck and kissed me slowly and softly, gripping my hair. I felt hot under the covers, probably just from the fact that I was with Nicole.

In a bed.

Then I pulled back and smiled at her. I kissed her forehead, and she smiled. Both of us went under the blanket to lay down. But surprisingly, she curled up next to me, and laid her head on my chest. I put my arm around her and closed my eyes…

WHAT THE FUCK DID WE JUST READ

Continue reading.

~Mary-Sue

Crapfic #7: The Flames of Death: A Malorn AshThorn Story by Nikaya, Chapter 7

Third chapter in a row, I’m on fire. This is the seventh out of eleven up. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel…. Unfortunately the story has not yet been tagged “Complete”. But at least I will only have one chapter at a time to MST when I finally catch up. ON TO WARDSVILLE! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

Hello everyone! I know it’s been such a long time since I last posted a chapter, but I have good reason.

Don’t worry, you weren’t disappointing anyone. At least not me.

I haven’t been in the game in months due to not being able to renew my wizard101 subscription. I wanted to wait to post so I was up to date on what was going on but that obviously hasn’t happened yet… Therefore, I’m going to do my best without playing the game for awhile longer so if something is no longer accurate, please bare with me. The story however, will continue

Aw man, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?

Also, you can now go to my profile page to follow me on Twitter for the latest news on story updates and the shows, books, and games I write about.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

Chapter Seven: The Vision

“What are you doing downstairs?” I yelled. Nicole was standing at the bottom step, holding the railing. There was something about how her hair in a mess, wearing sweatpants and my t-shirt that made her look kinda sexy.

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT THIS IS A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD HE’S TALKING ABOUT!

But of course, I wasn’t thinking about that. I ran over to her and grabbed her hand to steady her.

“I can walk you know…” she protested. ” I’m just kind of hungry.”

I walked her over to the table and pulled out her chair, letting her sit. “You could have called to me. You’re too weak to walk around yet… Anyway, what would you like?”

“Peanut Butter Pancakes!” she squealed.

Oh God, I could hear the ditziness in her voice….

I chuckled lightly; same as usual.

It was about a week ago that she had finally woken up. I went over with her exactly what she remembered, and miraculously, she didn’t show the slightest signs of memory loss.

It’s actually not that miraculous. She hadn’t suffered a major head wound, and memory loss itself is quite rare, let alone traumatic memory loss.

Though, she hasn’t attempted to use magic yet… I don’t know if she’s afraid to, she’s too weak, or she can’t.

It’s been a year since I first met her as a twelve-year-old girl. It’s hard to believe since she’s grown so much, so fast. Now she’s a beautiful lady at 13… mentally and physically she’s matured.

Since when is she thirteen?

…Is this a leap year? //killed

Couldn’t resist. But no. You don’t just magically transform from a girl to a woman when you hit thirteen.

But I’m afraid for her, as, although she’s grown, she’s still small and I feel like she’s fragile. But she’s not.

I can’t believe that all that time, I could’ve been out there looking for her. I was stupid. I just stayed back and followed orders. I’ll never let anyone hurt her again.

She told me the story… though it was hard to listen. But she wasn’t afraid… She was never afraid.

Of course she wasn’t, what else is new?

She was in Krokotopia when it happened. She was nearing level 27 when she went up against Krokopactra.

It’s spelled Krokopatra. No “c”.

But when she had just beaten her, all of a sudden, a portal appeared.

That’s when he showed up.

Malistare, the cause of all the hatred I feel in the depths of my soul came to Nicole, knowing full well that I cared about her… And he told her so.

He took her away with him to the depths of Sunken City. He figured no one would find her there because no wizard dares to go in alone, even a grandmaster like me.

*tch* I soloed the whole thing when I was just an Adept.

She said he gave her an ultimatum: either lure me to him using telepathy, or she would starve. But Nicole was smart. She knew that Malistare would never starve her because then it would be too late. So she waited it out. But each day, a minion would beat her horribly.

Some of them threatened to rape her.

I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW!!! NO, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW!!! I absolutely despise unnecessary rape mentions in fanfiction!!! It is not cool, it is not interesting, and it is DEFINITELY not sexy!!! What it is, however, is triggering to ACTUAL rape victims!!! The only time when rape in fanfiction is remotely acceptable is when one of the characters is an actual rapist, as in it is widely accepted as canon. I don’t know what you tried to accomplish here, Nikaya, but one thing is for sure: I WANT TO SMASH YOUR FACE IN!

But she was too strong for them. Malistare wouldn’t dare; Nicole told me that he told her it was above him to rape his own son’s love interest; to which she scoffed that he was a slime anyway. In the end, he didn’t try anything.

Oh, well, at least we know he has BOUNDARIES!

So she waited and waited until finally we showed up. But she had been too weak to use magic for days already. No one beat her or harmed her in any way though. They just stopped feeding her altogether.

But you just said that every day one of his minions would torture her?

And that was her horrific story.

But now, she was healthier at least… and safe.

As the thoughts swirled around in my head, I smelled something burning.

“Malorn! The pancakes!”

I now ship NicoleXPancakes.

I turned around and realized I’d forgotten all about them in my daze. I waved the smoke away and grabbed the pancakes.

“Sorry Nicole… I’ll make you some more.”

“No, no!” She came over and took the plate of pancakes. “The peanut butter is melted perfectly! Thank you!” she pecked my cheek and I turned bright red. She laughed.

“You enjoy doing that to me, don’t you?”

“Since we first met,” she replied with a sly wink. I rolled my eyes. As she took her usually tiny bites, I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around her small shoulders.

What is it with her and daintiness?

She looked up at me, a pancake hanging out of her mouth and I laughed.

“You’re adorable sometimes.”

She swallowed the rest and looked up at me. “Sometimes? Try all the time.”

Wow. The Sue actually acknowledging that she’s a Sue? And it’s not a parody? YOU BROKE THE WORLD

Again, I rolled my eyes.

We sat there for a few minutes as she happily ate her pancakes. Suddenly, she dropped one back onto her plate.

“Nicole?” I turned to face her and her eyes were nothing more than a blank stare. “Nicole? Nicole!” she stayed frozen there for a few seconds as I tried snapping in her face and waving my hands in front of her.

“Ugh…” Her eyes closed and she started to fall sideways out of the chair. I caught her in my arms on the floor.

Is she dead? Is this stupid story finally over?

“Nicole, answer me!” I yelled. Finally, her eyes snapped open.

Damn.

She was breathing heavily and her eyes darted everywhere but at me.

“Need… to get out of here…” she panted. At first glance, she would seem scared, but she wasn’t. She was warning me.

“Nicole, it’s alright!” I hugged her into my shoulder, squeezing her tightly, but she pulled back in protest.

No! It’s not!” she shrieked. We need to talk to the Headmaster now!”

“Alright, alright,” I said, trying to calm her. I stood up, holding her around the waist to keep her upright, waving my free hand to teleport to the Commons.

*Two seconds later*

I was still confused as to what the Hell is going on and what kind of jacked-up made-up magic this is.

“Ambrose!” I shouted, trying to drag us into the office. I felt eyes on me from everyone around, but I didn’t care. “Ambrose, help!”

The Headmaster came running outside, throwing Nicole’s arm over his shoulder. “Quickly, get her inside!” We brought her up the steps and into the office. Gamma ushered everyone out and locked the door. “Set her down on the chair,” he said. We helped her sit in the red armchair behind his desk. Gamma flew over and perched on the head of the chair. The Headmaster waved his staff and a mug steaming with a glowing yellow liquid appeared. He held it up to Nicole. “Drink up.”

She lowered her lips to the cup and sipped slowly, then drank the entire mug. Her body glowed bright yellow for a second, and the color returned to her face.

“What was that?” I asked, not understanding.

“It’s a potion her father used to make when he was just a student here at Ravenwood. I knew him personally.”

Oh of course. Why didn’t I think of that?

Nicole smiled, already knowing the full story, apparently. She set the mug down. “Now… do tell us what happened, young wizard.”

What happened was Nicole made a miraculous recovery, no surprise there, Malorn had some creepy thoughts about her, she behaved like the ditzy Mary-Sue she is, and then some more of her bullshit Sue magic happened.

Nicole stiffened slightly and looked from the Headmaster to me and back again. “Well… I guess I had… some kind of… vision…” she told us hesitantly, afraid of our reactions. Ambrose and I exchanged glances and looked back at Nicole.

“Nicole,” Ambrose started, “though visions are a part of the magical dimension, they aren’t all that common…”

I would say they are very uncommon, considering they AREN’T a part of the magical world.

“I figured that,” she said.

“However, it isn’t a bad thing,” Ambrose continued. “In fact, it’s the sign of a very powerful wizard… This could be the result of your peculiar birth.”

And even more stupid Sue past….

I furrowed my eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Well, Malorn, why don’t I let Nicole explain for herself?”

“I’m not from your world,” she stated. “I…I’m sorry I never told you…”

Yes, you did! In the second bloody chapter! You explained everything to him and bored the shit out of everyone! I remember because you mixed fandoms and I made that petrol and water analogy!

Wait a minute, I just realised something. If THIS is her ~*~peculiar birth~*~, why the fuck would her simply having been born on Earth make her a ~*~very powerful Wizard~*~?

I stopped and shook my head. “Then what are you?”

“Malorn, please be patient with her. She only recently found out her father was a wizard.”

Depends on what you mean by “recently”. She said that Ambrose explained it to her when she got her acceptance letter, so she’s known for over a year.

What?” I felt my voice shaking. It was like I didn’t know her at all. “How could she not know?”

“Your friend here is from a world of mortals. Her father was part of the first organization of Wizard Protectors. They scout the various worlds in search of any sort of unbalance between the Spiral and other galaxies. He was sent to what is known as the Milky Way and to plant Earth.

‘Plant Earth’

It. Sporks. Its. Self.

This was where he met Nicole’s mother. He decided to make a permanent settlement there by himself to be with Nicole’s mother. She knew of his powers but assumed that Nicole didn’t have any of her own.

No, she didn’t! You also said that he didn’t tell her mum in order to keep her safe from some unknown enemy, and only found out when you got your letter! And what of the sister you said you had? Have you forgotten about her? Apparently just like the rest of your stupid plotline?

But when I found out where I had to send my next letter, inviting a student, I realized she was John Spiritflame’s daughter.”

“How did he-?”

“That is a question for another time. Right now, we must know what Nicole saw.” He looked over at her and she nodded. But first she looked up at me.

“I’m sorry I never told you,” she said. “I was afraid. I never told anyone. The only people that know are you, Headmaster, and Gamma.”

I eased at her words. Why was I mad? She was embarrassed.

Why should she be?

My eyes softened. “It’s alright,” I said, smiling. “You can trust me.”

She smiled back at me.

“Well… In the vision, I was in Malistare’s lair I guess… It was hard to see. It was blurry and really dark. But I saw him preparing something… I guess it was a plan. And he mentioned me… and Malorn.”

What else is new.

My heart skipped a beat at the pause. “He wants both of us. That was the only thing that was clear. And he’s going to come for us with an army of his minions.”

I stopped and gripped the desk, clenching my fists in anger. “I won’t let him hurt you…” I said through my teeth.

Ambrose put his hand on my shoulder. “No, we won’t let him hurt either one of you. I would suggest staying here, but this will be there first place he attacks to come after you and Nicole.” He paused and thought for a minute. Then he sighed. “I think the two of you would be safest if you disappeared for awhile…”

I think it would be best if just Nicole disappeared forever.

Nicole and I looked at each other.

“What about school? And our friends…?” she inquired. I sensed the worry in her tone.

“The two of you can stay with a good friend of mine in Marleybone for now. Andrew Coleman is his name, and he works at the post office in Regent’s Square. Nicole will be escorted by Malorn to the Barkingham Palace where you will receive private lessons from a Royal Teacher there.

Wonderful. You’re sending the two biggest targets off all alone to hide in the very town that’s effectively ruled by the gang whose leader is in league with Malistaire. Yay.

You will both pack immediately. Say your goodbyes to your friends. And meet back here in an hour.” Nicole sighed in defeat. “And be sure to travel lightly, using just your usual backpack in the event you need to change location.”

*One hour later*

Samantha, Cole, and Ryan all came with us back to meet the Headmaster. We said our goodbyes. Nicole teared up, but I didn’t cry. I don’t cry. Mom was there too. She was crying, but they simmered as they touched the bottom of her flaming-hot dress.

Please, get over yourselves. They’re seeing you off as you go into hiding in another world for a little while, they’re not watching your execution!

The Headmaster walked us to Bartleby and handed me the Spiral key.

Oh look, she spelled Bartleby right!

“Take care of each other,” he said to both of us. “Without friends, you will both be lost.” He smiled to our friends one last time and we had a group hug.

I took Nicole’s hand as we looked back at our friends and finally, we stepped through the portal.

Well that was horrible. Fuck this whole story.

Continue reading.

~Mary-Sue

Crapfic #7: The Flames of Death: A Malorn AshThorn Story by Nikaya, Chapter 6

Getting a head start on this next chapter (I just published the previous one). I forget what exactly happens in this chapter, all I know is she’s recovering and she and Malorn are talking about stuff that has nothing whatsoever to do with either this story or the canon story. So the usual. SUCH ONWARDS! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

I’m !

At first I thought I had made a mistake when I c&p’ed this and had accidentally left something out, so I went and checked. But no. It turns out she actually did get only one word in before she fucked up.

WOO! More chapters for all of my stories heading your way. I’m really sorry about the chapters coming so slowly. But with school ending, it was tough to get anything done besides homework. -_- Okay, so now that I’m back, I am happy to say that I am continuing all of my stories and none are anywhere near their ends!

OH GOD WHY *sobbing*

In answer to your question Samantha, no, it’s a different Samantha Moonheart, sorry to say. But I think it’s so funny that one of my reviewers has the same Wizard101 name! Haha! These characters are all of my really close friends, but that’s so funny. Haha!

Alrighty, and on with the story!

Might as well get it over with.

Chapter Six: The Sleep

“Hey Malorn…” I look up and see none other than Cole.

“Cole…what are you doing here?” He walked over slowly and sat on the bench next to me. I was in my usual spot outside Nicole’s cottage.

HE’S HER BLOODY FRIEND MORON. What do you THINK he’s doing there?

“Just thought I’d come to visit… It’s been awhile.”

“I’m guessing you want to…?”

“Yeah.”

I opened the door and let us inside.

“You know the usual,” I said as my mood darkened.

Huh?

“Right.”

I led Cole upstairs to where Nicole lay on her bed. Medications and other things were constantly being given around her by her faithful pets, tending to the needs she couldn’t on her own. Sir Chester the dragon was the only one who was constantly curled in a ball at her side on the bed.

If she’s passed out then how could she take her meds? And will you PLEASE do a grammar check before you publish this crappy thing?!

“How long has…?”

“Three months to the day.”

“And she hasn’t moved…?”

“No.”

Both of us stared at the bed in defeat, our hope in pieces.

“Has Moolinda tried-?”

“Yes.”

“What about-?”

“Yes.”

“And Professor-?”

“Yes. Always the know-it-all Life grandmaster, eh Cole?”

Wait. Were those supposed to be two different quotes?

“Damn right.” He walked over to the bed and brushed a stray hair out of her precious face. “You’re lucky, you know.” I stared at him quizzically and he gestured to her again. “She’s beautiful.” Cole stood and put a hand on my shoulder. “Take good care of my sister.”

Wait, sister? What does that have to do with anything?

I nodded. “I’ll never leave her.”

Cole nodded and teleported away.

I stared at the bed for a long time. I watched her small frame rise and fall with her breath. God, those breasts, that body…so beautifully perfect. Every curve of her skin around her firm hips and athletic legs amazed me. Her perfectly straight dark blonde hair framed the face that was the most beautiful picture I’d ever see. Her eyes…closed. I wish I could see that clear blue of waves, alive in her eyes one more time. She’s a wizard of Fire, of light. Not this…never this…

What kinda creepyass shit is this?!

I looked at her fully again, and saw Sir Chester under her hand… Oh how I’d love to touch and hold her soft, small hand. She always had the smallest hands I’d ever seen. And I-

Sir Chester under her hand…?

THE

PLOT

THICKENS.

She had to have moved.

Or Sir Chester did, genius boy.

I walked over to the bedside and sat next to her. I ran my fingers slowly through her hair and leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. Her skin was warm…a good sign. I kissed her again, running my hands along the sides of her body. I opened my eyes and saw the slightest trace of a smile, but it vanished when I stopped.

“Nicole…please…” I whispered, tracing her body again. I kissed her cheek, her neck, and just above her breast. I laid my head on her chest and kissed her neck again. I heard her breath catch.

Dude! For the love of God! THIS IS A CHILDREN’S GAME!

I looked up to see her.

Well who the fuck else are you kissing in weird places?

She was smiling.

Her hand dropped off Sir Chester onto my leg.

“Nicole…? Nicole, please…” I whispered again, tracing the pattern of her firm stomach with my fingertips. I grazed where her leg met her hip and traced around. I leaned close and breathed on her neck, hoping to tickle her. She sighed.

I’m gonna be sick!!!

I kissed her cheek again.

And though she barely responded, we continued through the night.

*The next day…*

I woke to find myself lying in bed with Nicole in my arms. She hadn’t woken at all, but she responded to everything.

I’m not even going to ponder the possibilities of what could have happened there.

I would breathe on her neck and she would sigh. I kissed her and she smiled. Her breath would catch when I ran my fingers through her hair.

I stared at her again, admiring her. She’s beautiful, even in her peaceful sleep.

AND IN OTHER NEWS THE SKY IS BLUE AND THE EARTH IS ROUND.

I kissed her forehead and gently lay her back into a comfortable position alone. I stood up and went to find something for breakfast, watching her smile as I walked away.

While you’re down there, could you find me some brain bleach? Extra-strength?

I scratched my head and rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up.

I was a step down the stairs when I thought I heard something, but I dismissed it, my mind playing games.

I was up nearly the whole night with her, toying with her in my attempt to stir her. I had thought I’d heard something from her lips at least once every hour, but I was being stupid.

Mmm…”

I froze in my tracks. Then I heard it again.

Mmm…”

It was the faintest of a groan…but I heard it. I ran back up the stairs and looked at her.

She had been bound and gagged by me. I was trying to kidnap her again, hopefully getting rid of her forever and fixing this damn story. Curses! Foiled again!

Her eyes were tight in concentration, as if she was trying to remember something. But again and again, she made the same groaning sound. I was by her side in an instant.

“Nicole…it’s Malorn. Nicole… Nicole Spiritflame, I love you.”

WHO’S SHOCKED I’M NOT

Then she was still.

My heart sank into my stomach, and I felt a knot form in seconds.

“Nicole, I love you. I truly love you. I’ll never leave you. I will be here when you wake up.”

The smile disappeared from her face. Feeling dead, I turned to walk away.

“Malorn…I love you.”

I turned around to see her shining blue eyes and a smile.

ZOMGGGGGG THEIR LUV HEELD HUR ND WOKE HER UP FRUM DA COMA DATS SO SWEEEEEET SO KAWAII DESU

“Nicole,” I breathed. I ran to the bed and lifted her off it and into my arms, swinging her around. When I held her to stand, she reached up and held my face in her hands and closed the gap between our lips.

Her lips were soft and tasted like roasted marshmallows, my favorite. Her breath on my tongue was sweet and full of life. I pulled her close to me, running my free hand through her hair. She pulled back.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Huh. I was wrong. They didn’t talk. Although I would have much preferred they did…!

Continue reading.

~Mary-Sue

Crapfic #7: The Flames of Death: A Malorn AshThorn Story by Nikaya, Chapter 5

Hello and welcome to the next horrible chapter of horribleness in this horrible story of canon defiance and OOC-ness. As I said before, Sunken City features in this chapter as well as the last one. In this one she references a song called “Evil Angel” by a band called Breaking Benjamin. Yeah I dunno. Although, I listened to the song, and I must say, what the girl lacks in writing skills, she makes up for in her taste in music. ON TO THE WARDS! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

This chapter is going to be based on a favorite song of mine called “Evil Angel” by Breaking Benjamin. If I were you, I’d listen to the song on youtube or something before reading the chapter. It will still make sense, but it’s a beautiful song that describes the relationship between Malorn and Nicole.

Yeah, I really don’t see it.

It shows how Malorn tries to be good, but he’s Malistare’s son and a Death Student, so it’s difficult for him.

JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A DEATH STUDENT DOESN’T AUTOMATICALLY MEAN YOU ARE INCLINED TO BE EVIL. And it also shouldn’t be difficult for him to be good because he’s NOT MALISTAIRE’S (notice the “i”, author!) SON! And I also don’t see how the song describes that either.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

Hope spring’s eternal.

And seriously…LISTEN TO THE SONG! XD (I shall give out cookies to whoever does! …And reviewers too!)

One thing I have noticed about almost all Sue-fics and fics by new and unpolished writers? All of them offer cookies or something to anyone who reviews or whatever else. It’s unprofessional and rather childish, and makes it rather difficult for readers to take the story seriously.

Chapter Five: The Evil Angel

“Well, she wasn’t in there,” I stated numbly to Sam. We just came out of the tower at the back of the Sunken City. We were so tired from that last fight; we sat down right in the park area.

That’s not the proper use of a semicolon, author.

I flopped onto the bridge and sprawled out. Sam sat up against the pedestal with the Wraith and closed her eyes, leaning her head back.

“Well… There’s only one place left to check if the other two went to the other towers already…” she started. And as much as I knew she was telling the truth, I didn’t want to believe it.

…Why would she lie about that? How could she lie about that? You all know there are only four towers. Of course you knew she was telling the truth.

“Hang on, I’m getting someone,” I said, sitting up. Suddenly, Ryan’s voice was in my head.

Cole and I searched the first tower…no luck. We’re headed out to the second one now.”

Got it. We’re heading to Grubb.”

Good luck.”

You too.”

I stood up and swung my neck around, making a loud crack.

“Alright… You ready Sam?”

“Let’s do this,” she said, cracking her fists.

We then hopped on our mounts and took off toward the castle. We used the key once we got to the gate and stepped inside.

If you’re by the Wraith statue then Grubb’s castle is within sight, and walking distance. …Seriously, it’s like only a hundred feet away.

“That’s funny,” Sam said. “Doesn’t he usually appear right here?”

“Yeah…” I held up my arm to block her path and looked around. “I don’t see him anywhere.” I dropped my arm and let her walk. “Maybe we should split up.”

YOU NEVER SPLIT UP *facewall*

“Good idea. I’ll go this way. You take that way.”

“Okay…”

Sam went cautiously toward the room to the left of the main entryway, and I broke right. I peeked in the doorway and slowly stepped inside as there was no one there.

Both of the rooms are extremely small. All you would have to do is poke your head in and look around a bit.

This part of the castle was now enclosed, and it was pitch-black. The only light I had was from the glowing end of my staff. But it only allowed me to see about a foot or so in front of me. I held it up high to be able to see more clearly when I saw vague movement.

*GASP* I WONDER WHO IT COULD BE

“Who’s there?” I said as loudly as I could muster.

But no one responded.

I continued walking around for a few minutes when I heard a low…moan.

“WHO’S THERE?” I shouted this time. But when I only heard a moan again, I responded, “YOU’D BETTER TELL ME WHO YOU ARE OR-“

Or what? You gonna bitch and jerk me to death?

But then I heard the faintest of whispers in the dark.

“Mal…orn…?”

I would recognize that voice anywhere.

It was the real Malorn. He had been held captive by Nikaya and completely butchered and ruined in the torture chamber she called a fanfic. He couldn’t believe what he had become.

“Nicole! Nicole, it’s me! Where are you?” I yelled. I waited impatiently for the response, but it didn’t come.

Nicole!” I shouted again. Still nothing…

Nicole!” I shouted, slightly louder this time, but I still gained no response.

NICOLE, PLEASE!” I waited for a few seconds before finally hearing the voice again.

“Turn…a…roun…” Her voice trailed off, but I got the gist of it.

ALL SHE DID WAS LEAVE OFF THE “D”. You didn’t need to “get the gist of it”. Besides, wouldn’t he have already heard her voice coming from behind him? What kind of moron looks for someone and doesn’t search the whole room?

I spun on my heels and ran toward the voice and soon found…

I gasped in shock.

Nicole was slumped up against the wall, her arms hanging, held by rusted, metal chains. Her clothes were ripped and torn, and she had bruises all over her bare skin, also caked with dirt…and…ashes?

…Ashes? What’s that even about?

“Nicole…” I dropped to my knees and grabbed her in my arms and laid my head on her own. I turned my head slightly and kissed her on the cheek and head. She then buried her face in my shoulder and sobbed. She couldn’t speak, so I just let her stay there in my arms…neither of us wanting to let go.

Uh, wouldn’t it be more important to GET HER THE HELL OUT OF THERE? You can do that romance-y crap later.

“Never leave me again,” I breathed into her hair. Her scent of lava lilies was only a mere trace now. Every part of her had changed in one way or another. When I pulled back and looked into her eyes, I didn’t see the eyes of a little girl anymore.

She was a young woman that had been put through a living hell.

Friendly reminder that this is what the author is writing about herself?

She stopped crying then and just stared at me with longing in her eyes. She still couldn’t move, so I let her lay her back against my chest and her head rest in my right arm. I reached over and combed my fingers through her now dirty, wild hair.

Well, at least that part’s accurately written….

But I didn’t care. She was safe here in my arms, and that’s all that mattered.

She’s not safe yet, she’s still IN THE VERY PLACE SHE WAS DRAGGED OFF TO AND HELD PRISONER IN.

Any luck?” Sam asked in my head.

I’ve got her.”

Yes! Nicole!” I then heard Sam’s footsteps running through the palace. In a few seconds, she was sitting next to us. “Oh thank goodness!” She bent down and hugged Nicole. But Nicole groaned and Sam released. When she let go, I could see her eyes clench and her body tense.

She was in that much pain?

Of course she is, idiot. She’s been held captive and tortured for days.

I bent down again and kissed her forehead. She looked up at me and smiled.

I’ve got her,” I told Ryan and Cole. “She’s badly hurt, but she’s safe.”

Finally!” Cole thought with joy.

Oh, thank the Titans!” Ryan thought, in a sigh of relief.

But then we heard a loud clanging noise.

OMG WHAT’S HAPPENING THIS IS VERY EXCITING AND SO TOTALLY NOT BORING AT ALL

Nicole’s reaction came first. Her body tensed up, and as she did so, she groaned in pain. But she didn’t stop there. She then picked her head up and looked at me wide-eyed.

“He’s…he’s…b…back,” she stuttered. My eyes grew wide when I realized that it must have been him.

I set Nicole down on the floor and kissed her on the forehead again. “You stay here. We’ll take care of Grubb.” I readied my staff as a small light, (what I presumed to be a lantern) growing bigger and brighter.

“N…n…no…” Nicole whispered. “Not…not…Grubb.”

*GASP* IF IT’S NOT GRUBB THEN WHO COULD IT BE ZOMG NOBODY KNOWS YOU’RE SO GREAT AT SUSPENSE AUTHOR

I did a double-take and looked from her to Sam.

“Did she just say what I think she said?” I asked Sam. She nodded. “Well, if it’s not Grubb, then who the fu-“

And then I heard the most sickening, familiar laugh I’d ever heard in my life.

“My dear boy… How I’ve missed you.” And with a wave of his staff, the room, (much bigger than I’d estimated) lit up completely, revealing the one person that I’d wanted to take my revenge on my entire life.

My father.

WOW I TOTALLY DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING THIS IS SUCH AN AMAZING PLOT TWIST—called it.

You!” I sneered. “This is all your fault!” I felt my power build inside of me, the way it always did when any Wizard became angry. Death Wizards particularly have a cool, chilling sensation go up and down their spines. And this time, I even felt my eyes start to burn; redder than usual.

“Silly boy,” he snickered. His voice was ice-cold; that of a snake. “Of course it is. And do you know why?”

I just stared him down, baring my teeth, my eyes now glowing red.

Why would his eyes glow red? That doesn’t even make any sense, and I doubt she’ll explain it, at least in a good way.

As my eyes grew brighter, he eyes…I could’ve sworn they widened the slightest bit, but I couldn’t be sure. He regained his composure too fast.

You know, if you take that last bit out of context, that was actually well written.

“I see you’ve made some friends at the stupid school of yours,” he said, gesturing toward Nicole.

Malistaire loved Ravenwood. He only left because everyone was trying to stop him from hurting himself and others trying to bring Sylvia back, which they were also trying to get him to understand was a fruitless effort, and would only drive him more insane.

I growled in frustration. “She was very useful to me, you see. She, of course, wouldn’t give me any answers, but she did in fact lead you right where I wanted you…with me.”

“Is that a challenge?” I jumped into a fighting stance and glared.

How did that even sound like a challenge?

But he only laughed at me, and I felt my anger rise to the brim.

“Dear boy, that is certainly not it at all! You see, you’re my son, and I’ve missed you, Malorn. You know you were named after me, don’t you?”

HOW COULD A BOY NAMED MALORN BE NAMED AFTER A MAN NAMED MALISTAIRE. Do you even know what naming someone after someone else means?

“Don’t lie to me!” I shouted. I crouched lower in the fighting stance. It was difficult to know what was true and what was false here.

“I’m not lying to you. Why would I lie to my own son?”

Because you said you loved her! You said you loved Mom! BUT YOU KILLED HER!” I screeched.

NO HE DIDN’T!

Sam clasped her hands over her ears and Nicole winced. I flinched slightly, not meaning to hurt her, but my anger was spinning out of control. My eyes flared up again, and my body started to mist out black smoke. I felt my powers going out of check, and I struggled to stay in control.

Just then, Cole and Ryan appeared behind Malistare. He spun on them and shot them against the wall with a shock from his staff. They laid there on the floor, powerless, while Sam stayed with Nicole behind me. Even after what took place just then, I still couldn’t move.

Why?

Why what?

Join me.”

The words were cold, but determined. I’d never heard more painful words in my life. But the thing was…

But the thing was what?

I had to fight for my sanity at this point.

Then…something…happened.

I suddenly dropped to the floor on my knees, and my head hurt worse than it ever had before. I clenched my eyes shut in pain, and wondered what was happening. In the back of my mind, I knew Nicole was hoarsely screaming my name and asking me what was wrong, but I couldn’t respond.

Then, it happened.

Wait, I thought it already happened? You set us up three times already. Get to the point.

My eyes turned completely red and glowed so bright, it lit the entire castle. The guys had to shield their eyes, but Nicole didn’t dare to look away. Malistare just smiled at me.

“Do you see your power, child?” he asked. “Do you see what lies within you? It is a great power that only I can teach you. Join me and I shall.”

Unconsciously, I took a step forward, my eyes still glowing. Malistare smiled.

I’m half-tempted to go back and add all the “i”s she’s leaving out of “Malistaire”.

What are you doing, you asshole? Back UP!

But as much I told myself to stop moving toward a great power I may never know otherwise, I took another step.

The struggle between good and evil: Ur doin it rong.

His smile grew wider.

And “His” is italicised because…?

Malorn!”

I spun on my heels and saw Nicole, standing…barely, holding onto Sam for support, but she looked me dead in the eyes with such a force that no matter how strong that other power was…

I

Me

The real me…

The real you was gone from the moment this story hit the archives.

Couldn’t look away.

Love does conquer all.

I turned back to him, my eyes still flaring red, but this time, I smirked and summoned a Wraith…the biggest and most bad-ass one I ever had…

Without any blades, or traps.

The lack of Blades and Traps does not hinder the ability to cast the spell.

It then sucked as much energy out of Malistare as it could, leaving him dropping to the floor. I fell as well from using all of my strength and stayed on my hands and knees. Nicole rushed over with Sam and they bent down at my sides.

And when exactly was she released from the shackles keeping her bound to the wall?

“You win this round,” he called. He summoned up the last of his energy and left without a trace. But then his voice rang out all around us, seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere.

“BUT YOU WILL JOIN ME SOMEDAY!”

“Not a chance,” I huffed out. My breathing was rapid, and my head started to spin.

Fucker,” Ryan sneered.

Asshole,” Cole grumbled.

MINOR CURSING?!

Jerk!” Sam shouted.

“Ugh…” Nicole then fell over beside me, and it seemed as if the whole world was about to end.

NO!”

That’s it for this chapter (thank God). Have I mentioned how much I hate this bloody fanfic?

Continue reading.

~Mary-Sue