The Flames of Death Spork II: Remaster Boogaloo, Epilogue

So here we are! The epilogue, the last instalment in this Goddamn disaster. If you thought Malorn had died and was now finally free of this bullshit, spoiler alert, you are sadly mistaken. Just…read, and you’ll see what we meant at the very beginning of this when we mentioned how fucking stupid the epilogue is. ONWARDS, ONWARDS AT LAST TO FREEDOM! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

Chapter Seventeen: Epilogue

Finally opening my eyes against a bright light, I grimaced at the pain and weakness I felt. Naturally trying to shield my eyes, I realized that I couldn’t life my arms from my sides. Looking over, I saw that my arms and legs were tied up to each bed post. Groaning, I laid my head back down again the pillow.

Hm, kinky.

Opening my eyes again, I heard voices floating up from downstairs. Whoever was down there must have heard me stirring. I heard footsteps on the stairs across the room.

“Welcome to my lair,” I snapped sarcastically as four figures appeared at the top of the stairs. I chuckled to myself as they appeared in front of me.

The first was Cole, carrying a tray of food. The second was Nicole, tentatively following behind him followed by Samantha and Ryan.

Genuinely hope they’re about to explain how the fuck you survived what happened in the last chapter.

Cole’s eyes were narrowed at me but his lips formed a thin line. Ryan put a hand on his shoulder, purposefully not looking at me.

Samantha was the one to speak up first. “We brought you some food,” she said, taking the tray from Cole a little forcefully. She turned to me, a sad look on her face as she glanced down at my mangled form lying on the bed.

“Oh don’t give me your damn pity,” I said, rolling my eyes. My hair flopped into my face as I exaggerated the motion. “I’m fine.”

Okay Emo King

Samantha looked to Nicole who took a cookie off the tray. I recognized her lava lily cookies that she made for me once in a while… a long time ago.

Since,,,fucking when dkjhfjkdsfks??? In all the stupid, utterly lifeless romantic scenes you showed us, you never ONCE had Nicole bake lava lily cookies for Malorn.

She walked over to the bed and bit her lip before deciding to sit at the end of the bed.

“What? You’re not gonna say anything to me?” I snapped at her.

“I’ve been saying a lot to you,” she responded. She toyed with the cookie in her hand, picking at the crisper edges with her nail.

“I’ve been out.” I responded bluntly.

“She’s been at your side since everything happened,” Cole said through gritted teeth. “Don’t be so harsh to her.”

I scoffed. “You shouldn’t give a damn,” I said, nodding to her.

“Malorn….” she breathed, but didn’t look at me. “The war is over.”

“It’s not over until I’m dead, remember?” I said, making my body glow a faint red in warning.

“No, she’s right,” Ryan said, speaking up. “The undead army had no power without you constantly fueling it. And Malistare’s minions… we defeated all of them!”

I narrowed my eyes at Ryan. “That’s not possible….”

“It is,” Cole said sternly, crossing his arms. “You’ve lost.”

I released the red energy from my body. Then I tried to sit up as best I could with the restraints. Nicole reached out to help me, but the glare I shot at her told her to keep her hands to herself, and she pulled back.

“My father’s army…. It’s just… gone?” I asked cautiously.

“Yes, it’s finally over!” Samantha said. “We won!”

I looked back to Nicole who was turning the cookie over and over in her hands. “What about you?” I snapped again. Her gaze jolted back to me as she bit her lip again. “You… You survived? You… defeated my father?”

…Yeah? That had already been established??? You literally SAW him die?????

She nodded slowly, finally stopping with the cookie. “Malorn… you never called him your father before.”

I swallowed slightly before pursing my lips. “There’s a lot of things I never did before I left you.”

She opened her mouth as if to say something but then closed it at her loss for words.

“Why did you leave?” Cole said suddenly. I turned back to him. “You knew we were all here for you and Nicole. Why did you leave us? Why did you betray all of us?”

I took a deep breath before telling my story. I explained to them how Malistare had promised to keep Nicole safe if I agreed to help him take over the Spiral. The harder I worked at being evil, the more convincing he became to me. I told them how amazing it felt to have so much power and to know that I was finally in control of my fate… that I was able to keep Nicole safe with that power. I told them how I had developed a horrible taste for that power and how easy it had become for me to do the unspeakable to so many people.

But most importantly, with every explanation, I told them how it was all for my love of Nicole.

But at the end of my story, I told them how when I finally saw Nicole again, I felt nothing. I felt no swelling emotion when I saw her. I was blank… empty. The powers I had attained and the deeds I had done had drained me of all humanity I had left in me.

Then what was all that guff about having to ‘maintain an image’ so that your/Malistaire’s forces wouldn’t turn against you and kill everyone you cared about???

“And that was when I realized that I need to be killed. I needed to be destroyed for the monstrosity I had become. And I knew it had to be you, Nicole,” I added, turning to face her, finally. I hadn’t looked at her the entire time I told the story. She looked up at me, meeting my gaze as she struggled to breathe and to hear of the horrors I caused. “I knew that to end this disease of a legend that the daughter of the Wizard of Fire had to defeat to son of the Wizard of Death. It was the only way to stop Malistare’s army and to escape the hell I had created. If I died, the army would fall apart, but if I had just betrayed the army instead, they would have come for you. It was the only way to save you, Nicole.”

???????? Yes, exactly, that’s what I’m talking about. So I Am Once Again Asking which fucking one is it??????? Were you a soulless killing machine or were you doing it out of love??? It cannot be both, this makes no Goddamn sense!!!

The tears flowing freely down her face made my stomach lurch. I wished so much that I could feel the pain I had caused her. I wished that I could understand what the emotions she felt now were like to have again. But I knew that it would take a lifetime to feel again… to trust again… to love again.

Dude. You’re feeling things right now. That’s what the stomach lurch is, I mean unless by that it just means you’re about to hurl???

I tried to explain all of this to her but it was so difficult to see the pain I was further causing in her eyes that I couldn’t keep going. I was so engrossed in power that I had lost myself and the reason I sacrificed myself in the first place.

“I lost you.” I finished.

Breaking me from my thoughts, I was suddenly grasped tightly in Nicole’s arms. I winced at the pain from my bandaged torso but breathed in her familiar ashy scent as if for the first time. Her hair fell in waves into my face and her tears danced onto my cheeks as we collided. Her embrace was so warm… something warmer than anything I remembered. My breath caught, realizing what had been gone from my life for so long.

And I started to cry.

Well I guess that was the shortest ‘lifetime’ in the history of ever.

“Nicole…” I muttered into her shoulder. “I’m so sorry….” My shoulders shook with the sobs as they came fast and hard, shaking my body.

She was crying too as she held me closer, more gently now. “I thought… I thought… I… I lost you,” she said between sobs.

We cried into each other for a long time. At some point, the others had left the room so we had some time to calm down.

Finally, she pulled back from me and wiped the tears off of her face. She giggled a bit as she looked at me, wiping the tears off my face with her thumb.

“Can’t undo my restraints, can you?”

At that, Nicole averted her gaze and looked to the floor in thought. After I moment, she replied, “I don’t know what they’re going to do with you.”

I chuckled darkly for a moment, making her jump. “Sorry… bad habit…. I’m pretty much wanted to murder across the Spiral, so I get it.”

You really, really, really need a fucking beta reader.

She sighed deeply before looking back to me. “When you’re better, they might banish you from the Spiral.”

“It’s better than being dead, isn’t it?”

“I’m trying to convince the Council of Light that you can be rehabilitated. But even that can take years… and I wouldn’t see you.”

I sighed before asking, “Well… what would make you happy?”

She bit her lip and giggled a bit. “Honestly I’d be happiest if I could rehabilitate you myself… maybe take some time off from missions for a change.”

Girl no you cannot be his therapist and his girlfriend at the same time that SHIT’S NOT HEALTHY OR ROMANTIC, YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR A BAD TIME.

“Then do it,” I said with as much of a shrug as I could manage. I winced at the pain and the restraints but shrugged it off.

“Malorn, I can’t just convince them of it.”

“Nicole…. You just took down the strongest Wizard in the Spiral. Hell, that makes you the strongest Wizard in the Spiral. And you think they won’t listen to you if you tell them that you can handle babysitting me for a few years?”

Nicole bit her lip again. Then I realized what the real problem was.

“You want to keep saving the Spiral.”

She nodded slowly. “It’s what I love to do….”

“Then do it,” I said. “Look, I hate letting you go. But if we both need time to do what we have to do, then I’ll let you go and I’ll take my time getting better.”

“But I’ll miss you,” she argued back with me.

“I’m not going to hold you back again,” I said.

Then she cupped my face in her hands and gripped my lips between hers as desperately as she could. After the initial shock, I moaned into her lips and relished in the smoothness of her on me. The taste of her overwhelmed my senses, making me completely lose my nerve. She toyed with my ear between her fingers and pulled my face into hers.

When she let go, I was dizzy with ecstasy. That was the feeling I had been lacking. The passion and love I felt for her was still there… it was just difficult to resurface and would take some time fully returning.

“I’ll come back for you,” she whispered. “I promise.”

“I know you will.”

*Five years later*

“She comes back today!” Samantha was practically jumping up and down in Headmaster Ambrose’s office. Cole was holding her hand to keep her from flying into the ceiling from excitement.

“I’m so excited to tell her about everything that’s happened,” Ryan said, mostly to his fiancé, Keira Hawksmith. “She hasn’t even met you yet, but I’m sure you’ll be great friends, Keira!”

“From everything I’ve heard about her, she seems like something special,” she replied, aiming the response toward me.

“She is,” I said simply.

“You’ve worked quite hard for this, Mr. Ashthorn,” Headmaster Ambrose told me. “He flew through his rehabilitation process just so that he would be back in time for Nicole,” he told Keira.

…So that’s it??? Another timeskip??? You put us through all that and you don’t even let us fucking see Malorn’s path to redemption??????? It’s just ‘Five years later’ and nothing else and everything’s all hunky-dory??? How is that in ANY WAY compelling or convincing??? How the fuck do you expect us to believe that he’s changed at all???

“We knew he’d make it in time,” Cole said, patting my shoulder. He gave me a small wink.

“I couldn’t have made it without all of you supporting me. I can’t thank you all enough.”

“No need to thank us,” Ryan added. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have met Keira,” he said, pulling her close.

Are you gonna expand on that or?????

“The portal’s opening!” Samantha exclaimed.

All of us took a step back as the blueish image shimmered slightly as a form began to phase through. Stumbling slightly through the portal, I caught Nicole in my arms.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry, I-” she stopped midsentence and gasped. “Malorn!” she cried, gripping me in her arms. I hugged her back, running my hands through her hair, silky smooth as it always had been. “I can’t believe it! You’re here!” she said, pulling me closer.

“Everyone helped me while you were gone. I’m not going anywhere,” I told her, kissing her head. Over the past few years I had grown to be much taller than her, and when she pulled back and examined me, I bent down to fully kiss her for the first time in years.

After we parted, Nicole hugged each of her old friends.

“Is that a wedding ring?!” Nicole shouted at Samantha.

She nodded in response. “I’m sorry we didn’t wait for you to come back! It just sorta… happened….” she said as innocently as she could muster.

Nicole looked to Cole. “I’m so happy for you guys.”

Cole smiled at her. “I just wanted her to be happy.”

“And Ryan, you’re engaged too?” she said, examining Keira’s ring now. “I’m Nicole,” she said with a big grin. “I’m so happy to meet Ryan’s fiancé!”

“I’ve heard so much about you,” she said, smiling in response. “You saved the Spiral and everyone in it. I should be thanking you!”

Nicole blushed and waved her hand in front of her face dismissively. “I had a lot of help,” she said as she eyed the rest of the group.

“I mean, taking down Malorn was quite the trip,” Ryan said, puffing out his chest. Everyone laughed together.

Nicole finally walked over to the Headmaster. He took her hands in his with Gamma on his shoulder. “Nicole, you’ve grown into such a fine young wizard. I’m so very proud of you. And you know that if you ever need anything at all, Gamma and I are always here to help you on your journey.”

“Coocoo!” Gamma yelped. “A very fine wizard indeed!”

He’s an owl, not a fucking pigeon.

“Thank you both so much….” she said.

“Your father would be so proud of your achievements, Nicole.”

She looked up into Ambrose’s eyes and wiped away a tear. “Thank you….”

“Nicole?” I said gently, taking her hand. She turned back to me and smiled, hugging me again.

“I’ve just missed you so much,” she said.

I pulled back from her and nodded to the door. “I’ve missed you too. Come on, I want to show you something.”

Taking her hand and guiding her to Gamma’s room, I closed the doors behind us. When I turned back to her, she was standing in the middle of the room, looking up at Wizard City in the heart of the Spiral.

“Why did you bring me here?” she asked quietly.

“Because you love the Spiral more than anything else, and you would do anything to save it,” I said, giving her pride in her accomplishments. She smiled at me, and I added, “But I want to ask you to love something just the same.”

“I… what…?” she stuttered.

Then I saw the realization dawn on her face as I bent down on one knee.

Fucking shoot me.

“Me.” I said, sheepishly. “I want to ask you to love me again… and show me how to love again…. Will you do that for me, Nicole? I know I don’t deserve you after everything I’ve done…. But I want to go back to us… to love.” I took a deep breath. “Will you marry me?” I asked, opening the little ring box.

You’re asking her to jump straight into marriage after seeing you for the first time in five Goddamn years after you tried to conquer the Spiral and she’s had absolutely no time to see if your redemption is genuine??? This is supposed to be romantic?????

She jumped into my arms before she could even mutter a response. She starting crying into my shoulder, and I picked her up, swinging her around in the stars of the Spiral around us.

“Yes!” she cried. “I want to fall in love again! I want to learn to love again… with you, Malorn!”

FUCKING—WHY DOES NICOLE NEED TO LEARN TO LOVE AGAIN????? YOU’VE SHOWN US ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT INDICATES SHE HAS ANY TROUBLE CONNECTING WITH ANYONE AFTER ALL THAT HAPPENED. AND WHY WOULD MALORN’S TRAINWRECK ASS BE THE BEST PERSON TO DO THAT WITH??? ALSO FUCKING—’I WANT TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN’—SO YOU DON’T EVEN ACTUALLY LOVE HIM ANYMORE AND YOU’RE STILL SAYING YES TO FUCKING MARRYING HIM??? BITCH ARE YOU COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR GOURD???????

The End

[Author’s Note 5/2/16]: Hello everyone! Thank you all again for taking this journey with Malorn and Nicole! It’s been a rough one, but so worth it in the end!

Thank you so much to reader Son of Janus for the helpful reviews! We were messaging a lot to talk about the story and his enthusiasm made me smile so much!

I would just like to clarify a few things for the audience here! Son of Janus pointed out some stuff and I noticed some things that should probably be made clear for the universe I created:

I have never seen Star Wars! Son of Janus told me how it had many parallels to the story that I was entirely unaware of, and I actually saw it more closely resembling Harry Potter until the last two chapters!

Bitch, how??? The only way it ‘resembled’ Harry Potter was that you ripped bits of lore from that and just fucking clumsily shoved them in here, the actual plotline (and I use that term very generously) didn’t resemble Harry Potter at all.

At the time of the epilogue, Nicole is 19 and Malorn is 24. I don’t know how many of you have been keeping track of their ages throughout the time gaps, but I just thought it would be good to clarify. Meaning that at the time of the final battle, Nicole was 14 and Malorn was 19.

Since,,,fucking when????? When we started the story Malorn was three years older than Nicole, not five, and if you retconned that then that makes this whole entire story all the way back to chapter 1 much, MUCH creepier because a seventeen-year-old has absolutely no Goddamn business being attracted to a fucking twelve-year-old, nor does an eighteen-year-old have any Goddamn business sharing a bed with and fucking SNOGGING a thirteen-year-old. We by no means believe that what one reads or writes is a direct indicator of their real-world views but what in the absolute FUCK are you doing here. I’m just praying to God that you’re once again too stupid to accurately remember your characters’ ages.

Malorn has been called very OOC in my story. But from what very little dialogue he had in the actual game, I created my own NON-CANON character. I loved his voice and look from the game and used that as a model, no more and no less.

And still, we talked about this. I told you, we had an actual conversation about this, even in that ‘very little’ dialogue, it is made very clear that Malorn has a friendly, welcoming nature—to interpret what he said, how he said it, as standoffish or confrontational, must take someone extremely dull—oh. Wait.

Listen girl, we’re no stranger to taking bare-bones canons and making them our own, but there is a difference between that and just making a completely new OC of your own. You can’t respond to OOC accusations by just fucking hiding behind the ‘well this isn’t actually them, this is my own character!’ excuse. Malorn is not some NPC that has no dialogue or backstory and so is essentially a blank slate for you to do with as you please. He already HAS character. Whether you see it or not. The fact that you don’t play Death is not an excuse. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, you’re not a fucking infant. You could have easily gone onto the wiki and looked up the dialogue for the early Death spell quests. It’s still there. Whether you agree with it or not. Whether you like it or not. Which you very clearly did not, because it didn’t align with the shitty bad boy fantasy you clearly didn’t grow out of even when you rewrote this wretched thing when you were an adult.

Malorn was fully aware of his final actions in the last chapter. He knew that pushing them all away and allowing there to be a final confrontation would quell his army but did not know if it would work. The very unclear part was whether or not he intended to kill Nicole. This was done purposefully. But had Nicole not had that final vision in her attempt to save Malorn, Malorn may not have spared her. But his gut instinct in that moment proved to be his innate love for Nicole. And thus we learn that true love does conquer all. Awww!

‘Awww’—shut the fuck up. If you’re having to spell out the climax of your story to your readers then you have utterly, spectacularly failed as a writer.

I hope you all loved Malorn and Nicole the way I did as well as their friends because I will miss writing about them so much! Please review, and keep an eye out for my other stories as well!

Lots of love, Nikaya

So there you have it, folks. After ten years, three months, and two days, we have finally, finally finished this excuse for a love story, this excuse for a Wizard101 fanfic, this absolute insult to Malorn’s character, this bane of our fucking existence for slightly over that long. As a long-time selfshipper ourselves, we can understand wanting to tweak things to better suit your tastes and that the dynamic of your character’s friendship/relationship with the canon character will change them, because that’s what relationships do, but there is a massive fucking difference between that and whatever the fuck this is. Everyone of course can do whatever they want, but I believe a random Twitter user put it best when they said ‘I don’t think you actually like that character if you need to mischaracterise them’.

The one thing, the singular good thing we can say for this is that she actually managed to stick with it until the end (even though that end sucked ass), which admittedly is something we have not managed to do to date. We’ve done plenty of oneshots and vignettes but we’ve never actually finished a chaptered fanfic. Oh well. Ninth time’s the charm, maybe.

Anyways, we hope you had at least some modicum of fun reading this, and if our commentary made this fic any easier to bear, we’ve accomplished at least one thing with this. And now that I think of it, by completing this, we’ve actually officially completed a multi-chapter MST for the first time in this blog’s history; the other ones are either oneshots, unfinished fics themselves, or we fell behind and never got caught up. We don’t think we will, though; they don’t bother us as much as this thing has.

I think with the end of this we can finally, officially retire from the MST game, and maybe this thing will stop living rent-free in our head when it should be paying double…though I doubt it, lol. We won’t be deleting this blog, not ever; we’ll keep it up for archival purposes, and in case anyone else gets a chuckle out of it as we intended—Hell, the reason we’ve finally finished this was because someone actually asked about TFoD and we showed them this to make their read slightly more bearable. We know our original followers left a long time ago, so we have no more long-time readers, but if anyone’s reading this, some poor soul who stumbled across this however you did, we tip our hat to you for making it this far, we wish you the best of luck, and bid you a fond farewell.

–Bishop

The Flames of Death Spork II: Remaster Boogaloo, Chapter 16

So. Malorn has joined Malistaire, and last we saw he had launched a massive attack on Krokotopia and killed pretty much everyone with his Super Special Evil Powers. So let’s see what’ll happen: Will Malorn slowly succumb to his True Nature™ and become Malistaire’s loyal ruthless servant, until Nicole swoops in and saves him by reminding him of Who He Used To Be, or will he be a helpless victim doing all of this because he Has No Choice, until Nicole swoops in and saves him? Because honestly, even Nikaya seems to have been confused this entire time about which one it’ll be. ONWARDS TO FACE THIS TRAIN WRECK! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

[Author’s Note 5/1/16]: This is the final chapter guys! There will be an epilogue after that tells what happens when it’s all over! So enjoy the final chapter, and stay tuned for the epilogue! Thank you all so much for reading my story! This has been the most fun of all my stories to write, and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did!

We did not.

Chapter Sixteen: The Darkness

Months had gone by. My job had become to take over the Spiral.

The worlds beyond Krokotopia were not nearly as easily conquered. Krokotopia had been on its last stand in the Oasis, and my job there was to simply wrap up the task.

Marleybone had a large enough army in its own right to assist in our conquest. The cats and rats of the world obliged in helping us with little need to convince them. The battle fought there proved to have little bloodshed because the Marleybonian army was already spread too thin across the Spiral to help other worlds. They surrendered within a few weeks.

MooShu was another story. Their warriors had stayed on the home front knowing what was coming for them soon enough. Their samoorai and ninjas alike fought the battle until the bitter end. They used mostly magic, but some took up their blades as well making it the bloodiest one we had fought. The entirety of it had taken three months alone.

The crusade I led through the Spiral had become known as the most devastating war in Wizarding History. Over time, I had to begin to take pride in my work because when I didn’t, it showed. And my father wouldn’t have that; I had to truly be loyal to him or else he would take the one thing I truly loved.

With Dragonspyre mostly in ruins, we had begun to fight on the front that was Wizard City. With each passing day, it had become easier and easier to forget what I once was.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I had full control over my own actions. I was the one commanding the armies. I was the one bending the undead to my will. And I was the one that had everyone begging for my mercy.

So, Ruthless Servant?

Though I relished in it, there was always the one thing that had kept me sane missing from my life… Nicole. But she was also the reason why I had to do what I did. If I didn’t follow my father’s orders, she would be killed in front of me.

,,,Or Helpless Victim?????

It was the one thing keeping me going despite how much I had grown to hate what I’d become.

I hadn’t seen Nicole or the others since the night I left from the cottage. I figured that the others had eventually realized what had happened to me and decided to regroup rather than following through with the mission. It probably took a lot of convincing for Nicole to let me go, but however it happened, I was glad. She would be safe from my father.

Today was just a devastating as the last. My army had arrived in Wizard City just a few days ago, and we had leveled most of the towns within it.

But today was different for one final reason; today was the day I would destroy Ravenwood.

I glided into Ravenwood through the tunnel and fueled by all of the power I had harnessed from the undead and the Wizards I had taken the lives of along my conquest. Surrounded by the red, crackling energy, I looked around at the scene before me.

Wizards of every school and level were fighting as hard as they could to keep the monsters back. The rules of dueling had been long abandoned as wand spells and summonings were happening in all directions.

In the middle of the fray, I saw Dalia Falmea and my chest tightened slightly. For a brief moment, we made eye contact through the chaos, and I watched as her eyes narrowed if only for a second before she turned back to the monsters headed her way.

Oh right we forgot about that, throughout all of this literally the only thing you’ve cared about is saving Nicole, with her friends almost as an afterthought, and yet you didn’t even once think about Falmea, even though she’s supposed to be your adoptive mother?? Jesus Christ, Nikaya, not everything is about you, not everything CAN be about you if you want this shit to actually work.

I reached out before regaining composure again. I wanted to save her… make sure her and the other professors were alright.

Ambrose…. I wondered if he was out there somewhere fighting back the chaos. I had no way of knowing since I had lost contact with him a long time ago.

I looked around frantically for a moment realizing who was missing from the fight: Nicole, Samantha, Cole, and Ryan.

I swallowed as the panic began to set into my system. I rose as quickly as I could above Bartleby and looked down over the world. Surprising myself, I couldn’t sense their presences from this distance, even with all of the power I had obtained.

Deciding to end the fight quickly so as to not further risk their lives, I waved my staff across myself the same way I had what felt like eons ago, and froze the undead.

I floated up higher in the air and allowed my powers to engulf myself in red energy as my eyes began to glow. “Wizard City!” I called out. “Lay down your wands, and I will put an end to your suffering!”

“Malorn!” I heard a voice call. I looked down over Ravenwood and saw Dalia standing there, calling out to me. “Do you honestly believe us to give up so easily?!”

My eyes narrowed at her now, and I raised my staff. “Does it feel as though you can win against me? Give up, and I won’t allow you all to die!”

“We’re not going down without a fight, boy!” Cyrus called out now. “If I’ve taught you anything in your years under my wing, it’s that!”

I clenched my teeth before sending back my biting response, “Fight all you want then! Do you wish me to release the undead upon you so that you can all suffer?” At that, the professors exchanged weary glances. “Look around you!” I said with a scoff. “You are letting your students die for your pride! You simply don’t wish to lose to me!”

“We won’t lose to Malistare!” Greyrose called back. “We know he is behind all of this, and we refuse to let him win!”

At that, I laughed. “You honestly believe he’s behind all of this? Guess what, pixie! I’m the one you should fear right now! I’m the one that’s about to destroy you all! Malistare may have taught me everything I know, but I’m the one that’s here, and I run the show!”

Hush, petulant child.

And at those words, I waved my staff again, releasing the undead from my hold and allowing them to run rampant. I waved my staff again, creating more undead along with those already summoned. “Destroy Ravenwood!”

I turned away from the scene, waving the staff briefly in front of me to create a portal back to Dragonspyre. I couldn’t stand to watch what would happen next, so I went home.

Phasing through the portal, I was immediately deafened by silence. Stepping through, I took in my surroundings of the mansion and quickly realized I was alone.

There were always minions around.

I quickly ran out of my bedroom and down the hallway to my father’s office, bursting through the doors to see an empty chair behind his desk. I looked around the room quickly, not seeing any sign of a fight.

I turned and bolted back down the hallway to the grand staircase leading to the great foyer where I had first come to give myself up to Malistare. When I reached the platform halfway down, I nearly fell over as I stopped dead in my tracks.

The scene before me seemed to happen in slow motion.

Cole, Samantha and Ryan were all standing with their wands raised as they glanced up at me. All of them looked much worse for wear.

My father was falling backward onto the bottom of the stairs as his body fell limp.

And Nicole… had her wands pointed at his heart, the tip still alight with flames.

Malistare’s body hit floor and burst into ashes as they floated up into the sky.

So you have them defeat your story’s Big Bad and you don’t even fucking show it to us except for the very last second?????

And through the ashes, my gaze locked with Nicole’s.

“Malorn….” her voice cracked as she spoke in barely a whisper. She slowly lowered her wand as the light at the end of it dulled. Her face was bloodied and bruised, and her robes were torn and mangled. She was gaping at me as her eyes welled with tears, and she took a tentative step toward me, reaching out her other hand.

“Nicole, don’t!” Cole called out. I barely noticed Ryan put a hand on his shoulder and shake his head.

“Malorn… you’re alive….” she whispered. A stray tear ran down her cheek. “The rumors were true….”

Taking a step back from her, I scoffed. “Of course I’m alive,” I said, my tone cold. “Who do you think has been busy conquering the Spiral?”

At my words, Nicole pulled her hand back as if jolted by a Storm spell. She raised her eyebrows at me. “Wh… What…?” she barely croaked out.

I shook my head as I started to laugh. I laughed harder than I had in a long time. I felt good despite how much it hurt my sides from underuse for so long. “You stupid girl….” I muttered to myself, shaking my head again when I finally regained composure. “I’m the one that took over the Spiral! Not my father!”

Nicole took a step back and looked over her shoulder at the others before turning back to me.

“You can drop the act, Malorn,” Ryan called to me, taking a step toward Nicole. “Malistare is dead. Nicole defeated him!”

“Oh, Ryan,” I tell him, “this isn’t an act anymore,” I said, chuckling darkly. “This is who I am now. And it’s all for precious Nicole.”

,,,So are you trying to do a darkship now??? Because newsflash, girliepop, this ain’t it.

“What are you talking about?” Ryan asked.

I locked my eyes back onto Nicole as I spoke. “I became evil to protect Nicole from Malistare. And now that he’s gone, I guess I have to finish what he started, don’t I?”

WE’RE LAUGHING SO HARD WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON ANYMORE

Nicole took another two tentative steps backward, and Cole stepped forward, putting a hand on her shoulder. I heard him whisper to her with my powers,

It sporks itself.

“Nicole, he’s lost his mind. We need to get out of here.”

“Yes! That you should!” I said, answering for her. His eyes narrowed at me, and Nicole surprisingly held my gaze.

Finally, Nicole looked back to Cole and pulls his hand off of her shoulder gently. She takes a step forward again as I sneer at her. She says, “Malorn…. It’s okay now…. You can come home….” Another tear falls down her cheek.

And another sudden tense switch

I smirk at her. “I am home.”

She gapes at me again, and this time, the tears come quickly and flow more freely. “Malorn….”

“Nicole, we need to get out of here,” Cole says to her. “He’s really dangerous, maybe even more than Malistare was.”

I clap slowly. “Very observant indeed, Cole! He trained me to be more dangerous than himself so that I would continue in his footsteps.”

Then, Nicole reacted unexpectedly. Her fists clenched, they started to shake and glow with a fiery light. She clenched her eyes shut as more tears fell and she turned her head away from me. Swiping the tears away with her robe sleeve, she turned to face me once again raising her wand. She crouched into a fighting stance. “I know what I have to do.”

I cocked my head to one side, wondering what she was doing. “Nicole, dear,” I said, making her flinch slightly. “You don’t have to fight me. Go home. The Spiral has lost. The fight is over. You’re safe now.”

She took a deep breath before yelling back to me, “The fight isn’t over until you’re defeated, Malorn! I won’t give up! The Spiral is my home!”

“Nicole… you stupid girl,” I said, shaking my head and stepping down the stairs. “You’ve already lost. You don’t need to fight me.”

Okay Kylo

Through gritted teeth, she snapped back, “I will fight until the Malorn I know comes home.”

Lowering my head, I finally admit defeat. “Nicole… I have an appearance to keep up here… for you.”

She narrowed her eyes at me, unsure of whether or not to believe me now.

I sighed. “Look at what I’ve already done. My father’s army has already taken over the Spiral with my help. I control the Spiral! But the second they see weakness in me, they will destroy me as their leader. And then, they will come after you.” I said as gently as I could muster. Her eyes widened at last as she began to understand. “If I go with you, we will all be killed. You have to leave me here. Forget about me. Live in peace, despite my having taken over the Spiral…. I’m sorry, but it’s what I have to do now.”

Every turn in this story has been a left

Nicole grimaced. I could see it in her eyes that she was honestly torn. On the one hand, she wanted me to live and to turn and leave me behind so that we’d both be okay in the end. On the other hand, she was loyal to the Spiral and everyone in it that she had saved over the past few years.

And I knew she owed it all to her father.

Biting her bottom lip, she finally looked straight into my eyes once again. She took a deep breath and raised her wand. “Malorn Ashthorn…. If you want to take over the Spiral…” her voice cracking on the word, “you’ll have to go through me.” She looked back to the others, wiping away one last tear. “Everyone else, stay back.” She turned back to me and looked me dead in the eyes. “This is my fight.”

I nodded as I lifted my arms up, allowing the glowing red energy of my powers surround my body and lift me into the air. “As you wish.”

I extended my staff forward and shot out a red bolt of energy searing through the air at Nicole. Briefly, her eyes widened and she rolled out of the way just as the energy crackled and exploded on the floor. I watched as she drew a Fire symbol in the air, summoning a Fire Dragon. Rather than send it toward me, she jumped up onto its back, and steered it in a way that reminded me painfully of Kalohae.

I flew around quickly to dodge the white-hot breaths of fire raging throughout the air. A few of them caught me here and there, and I felt my body begin to ache. I drew a Death symbol in the air to summon a Wraith. It emerged from the marble floor and began to drain the energy straight out of the dragon. Along with it, Nicole began to glow blue as the lifeforce drained out of her.

The dragon spiraled down to the floor and crashed into the stairs, collapsing stone all around them. The Fire Dragon was desummoned and burst into flames. Nicole pushed a large stone off of her and stood, wiping blood off of her forehead.

Girl do you know how fucking heavy stone is, how ‘large’ are you talking here

She drew another Fire symbol in the air, this time summoning a Helephant. She stood back as it stomped on the ground in front of her, and it quickly took its blade to the Wraith and then to me in the air.

Feeling the intense heat of the blade in my torso, I couldn’t hold the powers’ ability to make me fly, and I fell out of the air onto the cold, marble floor. I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees, holding my stomach to stop the bleeding as I drew another Death symbol in the air.

This time, a Scarecrow erupted from the ground with a crow cackling on its shoulder. It looked from me to Cole, Samantha and Ryan, and quickly glided over to them instead of Nicole.

“No!” she yelled, her wand pointed in their direction.

The Scarecrow turned, feasting its eyes upon the Helephant instead, sapping the life out of it. Nicole felt the hit too as I watched her fall to her knees.

The Scarecrow turned back to the others once again, but Nicole was too quick. Before I could blink, a Phoenix was summoned between the others and my Scarecrow, and the phoenix unleashed a barrage of flames, setting my Scarecrow on fire as it turned to dust.

The phoenix turned its attention to me as it took in a breath to unleash its fire on me.

But instead of summoning another creature, I waved my staff in the air and the phoenix became engulfed in an aura of red energy. I snapped my fingers on my other hand, and the phoenix was screeching in agony from the energy electrifying its entire body.

As it was happening, I hadn’t noticed that Nicole had gotten up again and shot a roar of flames straight at me. I turned in time to see the wall of fire as I released the phoenix from my grasp.

Before I could blink, I was on the ground once again. I clenched my eyes shut against the screams of the phoenix as it exploded into flames behind me. Groaning, I opened my eyes just as another barrage of flames came at me, head-on. I rolled out of the way in time to see Nicole running straight toward me.

So I did what I had to do.

I widened my eyes, letting my powers take over yet again. My body began to glow red and the energy engulfed Nicole in it. Her arms became bound to her sides and was being hovered in the air in front of me.

“Nicole!” Samantha called out from across the room. I could tell the three of them wanted to make a break for it, but even Cole was holding her back this time.

I slowly rose to my feet, swaying as I did, and walked up to the Nicole, lifting her so she was eye-to-eye with me.

It sporks. Itself.

“You’ve lost.” I said simply. I cracked a smirk at her, thankful that I wouldn’t have to put an end to this. “Now you need to leave before I do something I’ll regret.”

‘I’m destroying the Spiral to save you and I’ll do it even if it kills you’

Just then, Nicole’s face went blank as she stared into space. I narrowed my eyes at her for a brief moment before she shook her head and her eyes widened at me, coming back to reality. “Malorn! Please! You need to let go of me!”

“And why would I do that?” I mused. “Are you going to leave? Or are you going to try to kill me?”

“Malorn, please!” she said, her voice rising. “You need to let me go, now!”

“I don’t trust you to just go empty-handed,” I retorted, my eyes narrowed at her.

“If you love me at all… if you ever have loved me, you’ll release me right now!”

As she spoke, my hold on her broke as she collapsed to the floor. At the same time, I heard a loud cracking sound above us where rubble from the ceiling began to fall.

One huge chuck on stone came flying down toward us. With Nicole still on the ground in front of me, I dove at her.

Chuck. On. Stone.

…Are you fucking allergic to giving this thing even a single once-over after you finish a chapter.

As the dust cleared, I vaguely heard the others running over to us. I cracked my eyes open for just a moment.

And that was when the pain overtook me.

I looked down and saw the rock lodged straight through my abdomen. I started gasping for air, but quickly stopped when I started to choke on blood.

There was another, much duller pain coming from my right hand where I had dropped my staff. I craned my neck to see that it was Nicole, clasping my hand in both of hers with her forehead pressed to it, sobbing.

“Sit him up!” Cole ordered for Ryan. Immediately Ryan was behind me, pushing me into a sitting position. I couldn’t even groan at the pain from chocking so hard on the blood.

No! With a wound like that the LAST thing you do is move the victim into a different position! Also if he was fucking impaled by that rock then he kind of wouldn’t be ABLE to sit up.

“What do we do?!” Samantha gasped. “Can you heal him, Cole? You can heal him, right?”

“I’m trying my best,” he said as he pressed his glowing green hands to my chest. I sucked in air as if I had just broken the surface of water.

“Malorn… Malorn please….” Nicole sobbed. “I loved you…. I still love you, too.”

My vision began to blur before I could utter a response to her. The others were speaking quickly to one another in a slight panic, trying to repair the damage. But something inside me told me that I was irreparable… both physically and mentally.

I mustered all the strength I had left in me to keep my eyes open and look to Nicole. She was still sobbing over my hand, covered in blood. I tried as hard as I could and squeezed her hand back using every last ounce of strength left in my body.

Feeling the slight twinge of my grasp, she lifted her head to finally look into my eyes with tears staining her face. Blood dripping from my lips and pooling at my chin, I managed to smile at her.

Then the world went dark.

Well. That happened.

–Bishop

Continue reading.

The Flames of Death Spork II: Remaster Boogaloo, Chapter 15

Greetings friends, and welcome back to This Wretched Thing. When we last left off, Malorn had done your textbook Dumbass Noble Hero move and sneaked off to challenge Malistaire on his own, having put his friends into an enchanted sleep at Malistaire’s own suggestion, no less. SO let’s see how that works out for him! I think we’re about to reach the beginning of the end, because this is the second-to-last chapter (epilogue notwithstanding). ONWARDS TO FORWARDS! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

Chapter Fifteen: The Enemy

I followed the plan.

The others had been right on where we needed to go. Once I arrived in Dragonspyre, I remembered exactly how to get to the Crown of Fire from their map.

Once I arrived, I was standing directly before two huge doors decorated with the flames of Dragonspyre. I figured knocking would be stupid, so I took a breath and pushed through the doors.

The room was immense – if you could even call it a room. The floor was cracked all over, there were dragons and spirits patrolling the entire floor and only a single path led down to the main floor.

Out of the back, I could see the giant stone dragon’s eye, for the world’s namesake.

“My boy!” I heard echo.

I swallowed hard.

I looked down, past the dragon from the platform I was standing on as all of the eyes of every creature in the room turned their attention to me. Malistare… my father… was standing directly behind them all, arms raised in greeting.

You really do not need to constantly reiterate to us that Malistaire is Malorn’s father. We get it. You’ve made it glaringly, excruciatingly clear.

“Come, come! We have much to discuss!”

Gritting my teeth, I started to descend down the curved pathway to where my father stood. I was immediately met with growling and hissing from the various monsters surrounding me.

“Hush now!” he called out. “He is no longer our enemy,” he explained slyly. I narrowed my eyes but continued toward him anyway, through the glares from the monsters. They all stood very close to me as I walked with my head still held high, as if attempting to figure out my deception in order to protect their master.

Sadly – this time – they couldn’t be more wrong.

I knew in my mind that there was only one way to end this peacefully. There was only one way that would allow Nicole and the rest of the Spiral win and be at peace.

I was the only one that could end this. Though knowing my fate was sealed the moment I stepped into the room, I knew what I had to do.

“Malorn….” he said in a welcoming tone.

I stiffened. I replied bluntly, “Malistare.”

“I assume you’ve come here, alone, correct? You wouldn’t want me to hurt your friends in anyway…?”

“I came alone.”

Malistare started to walk in a circle around me, staring me down but never looking me in the eye. He was like a shark sizing me up for a meal… or maybe just for the love of the hunt. “Of course you wouldn’t…. Now… let’s get down to business,” he said, coming to face me and finally looking me in the eye, “shall we? You’ve come to me out of desperation, have you not?” He slammed down his staff on the marble floor, making me jump slightly. “You’re here so that we can cut a deal.”

“Yeah.”

“You will hear my demands first and then I will here yours. And since it is you that has come to me, I believe this is fair, is it not?”

I Am Once Again Asking You To Fucking Proofread This Thing

“What do you want?”

He sneered a crack of a smile at me. “First and foremost, I want a change in your attitude, Mr. Ashthorn. That is what your students call you, isn’t it? Creative name, by the way, where did you get it?”

I glared back at him, remembering Dworgyn. He was the one that picked out a last name for me. I had told him I didn’t want to be a Falmea because I didn’t want to shame her, even when I was so full of angst back then.

Ohhhhhhh my fucking God

So he observed me cast spells and had said how flawless of a caster I was and how he hoped that I would someday take over the Death School. He decided on the type of wand I had because he described it as an extension of myself to use magic.

I spit on the floor. “You killed him. That’s where I got it from.”

fjkdhdfdjsk That still fucking—that still fucking explains NOTHING about why that name specifically! It sounds like you were going for some sort of reference on his style of spellcasting but you told us exactly nothing about it besides ‘flawless’. And then you mentioned his wand, that Dworgyn had chosen it—are you trying to say he has an ash wand and that’s where it comes from??? Are you trying to do yet ANOTHER hamfisted Harry Potter lore-loan??

“Ah! My wonderful student, Dworgyn…. Yes, I remember him fondly. Good fellow he was…. Too bad he was more like Ambrose than myself, isn’t it?” He waved his hand dismissively as I clenched my fists. “Anyway, that attitude… the spitting… the anger…. Those things need to stop. Immediately. At least… toward myself,” he said, laying a hand over his chest. “I have a plan for that beautifully fiery anger of yours.”

I closed my eyes and sighed at that to try to calm myself. Of course he would talk about Nicole next.

“And speaking of fiery, that lover of yours… Nicole.” He hissed her name as if disgusted with the taste of the word in his mouth. He made a face to go with it. “You will never see her again of your own free will.”

Lmao what the fuck happened to that creepy ass part where you told Malorn that Nicole would have no choice but to submit to him once he had taken over the Spiral with you?

I resisted the urge to start shaking with anger. But there was more emotion in my soul than that. The sadness from missing her, the guilt from betraying her, and the love I would never feel again when I saw her face welled up in my chest all at once.

I took a shaky breath. “Yes, Father.”

“Ah! Wonderful!” he exclaimed with a clap. “He called me ‘father’!” He gestured to the monsters carefully observing the scene as if to cue them to mock me by laughing along with him.

“Now, that name…. Spiritflame…. Do you know the history behind it, boy?” he asked. I nodded. “Yes, yes, of course you do,” he said as he waved his hand dismissively again. “So you are aware that her father is dead by my hand and that she has his so-called gift then?” I nodded. “So you realize then why she must die?”

“No!” I yelled.

Slap!

I gritted my teeth and held my cheek in my hand. “Don’t you ever talk back to me! That attitude of yours may need some adjusting….” He paced back and forth then, scratching his chin.

“What about my request? Keeping Nicole safe was part of that!”

“Oh, don’t you worry, that is indeed still a part of our deal,” he said. “I will not touch her, I can assure you.”

I narrowed my eyes at him but said nothing. I knew that if I kept trying to argue with him, her fate would be sealed with mine. “Alright.”

“That’s better,” he said simply. “Finally, my last demand is that you help me win the war.”

My eyes widened. This was the part of the deal that I didn’t see coming. I thought that if anything, he would torture me by watching what happened to Nicole and the others or something to make me want to help him. I never would have guessed that he would straight up ask for my help.

????? What the fuck do you mean??? You knew the entire time that he wanted you on his side because having your help would guarantee his victory.

“Why would you need my help? Can’t you do what I can?”

“Yes, of course, boy. But the problem is that my reach simply isn’t far enough. And you are young… undefeated… strong… powerful.” he said putting extra emphasis on the last word. “You can accomplish what I can one hundred-fold.”

At that, I looked down. “I wish I couldn’t,” I mumbled.

“Ah, but that is your saving grace, my boy! If not, I would have killed you ages ago!”

I looked back up at him, staring in astonishment. Was that really all I had to offer the world? My powers and nothing more? I wasn’t useful for anything else?

Not to him no, dude, but not in general, I thought Nicole would’ve worked her magic and taught you this already. Also why would Malistaire telling you that your power is all he cares about immediately lead you to think that that’s all you’re useful for to anyone?

“I know that must be hard for you to hear, but you must understand,” he said, walking toward me, “I couldn’t have you trying to redeem me…. And for good reason, you never did.”

I thought about my Uncle Cyrus and wondered if he had known that I was so much more powerful than his brother. And maybe that was the reason he never had children himself because he didn’t want to take the risk that his child may have been useful to Malistare someday.

“Now… for your demands….” At that, I picked my head up and narrowed my eyes at him. “You want everyone to be safe, isn’t that right?”

“Yes.”

“There is only one way to spare everyone… and to free you.”

I narrowed my eyes further. “Free me?”

“A bonus, yes, I know. But the only way to do so is complete – and total – surrender from the Spiral.”

“They’ll never agree to that!” I shouted.

Slap!

“What did I just tell you?!”

Dude that’s not even attitude that’s just stating a fact

I grimaced at his tone, but I continued. “Father….” He seemed to smile at that. “Father, I know that the rest of the Spiral worlds will never surrender so easily. The students of Ravenwood have become powerful enough to nearly clean up all the worlds you previously lay ruin to. How would that be possible?”

“That, my dear boy, is where you come in.” Malistare clapped his hands twice and two dragons came to either side of me and grasped my arms tightly in their grip. “Take him to his new chambers. Tomrrow we will begin the first phase of the plan for total surrender.”

Before the dragons left though, Malistare walked right up to me and took my chin in his hand. “So here is my final deal for you. I can kill you now and spare no one… or you can assist my conquest of the Spiral and agree to the terms we discussed. The choice is yours.”

I clenched my eyes shut. I could feel the emotions I had felt earlier crush my chest. I knew that I had to make this choice. I knew then that I had to let go of who I was or ever could be in order to save the Spiral… and most of all, Nicole.

“Yes, Father. I will serve you.”

My fate was sealed.

He nodded to me and then the dragons. They flew me up to my chambers where they threw me into the room and locked the wooden door behind me. I slowly pushed myself back up to my feet and felt the door: a magical barrier.

Sighing, I turned to face the room.

Around me was what looked like a stone castle’s chambers in Dragonspyre style. The walls were stone and the floor was marble. The bed was shades of red and deep blues and there were carved statues of dragons mounted on the wall. The wardrobe matched the Dragonspyre theme, and there was a desk to go with it. It was so eerily normal that I quickly realized that I wasn’t going to be treated as a prisoner.

I was going to be treated like his son.

*The following morning*

When I woke up, my head was pounding. I hadn’t realized how little of sleep I would have gotten from coming in the middle of the night, but I knew it didn’t really matter. I wasn’t going to be allowed to feel anything anymore.

#Angsty™

There was an obnoxious rapping on my door before it was thrown open. A dragon-humanoid person walked in and shouted at me, still in bed, “Get up. Lord Malistare wishes to see you in his office. Also, put these on,” he said gruffly, throwing a pile of clothes onto the bed, and he slammed the door behind him. I noticed the magical barrier on the door faded.

I pushed myself to sit up and leaned over, picking up the clothes. They were black and red robes – as I suspected – but looked much more official than the ones I usually wore. I hadn’t worn my jester hat in a long time, but this made me looked like I was serving in an army of some kind. And not just serving, but leading. It looked too official for it to just be a solider or minion’s clothing.

You really, really need a fucking beta reader.

I quickly threw on the robes and set my old clothing aside. As I got changed, I allowed myself for a brief moment to wonder what Nicole and the others were doing and thinking as they got up and realized I wasn’t there. My stomach dropped when I thought of Nicole panicking when she woke up without me next to her, so I pushed the thoughts back down.

I opened the door and looked down the hallway from which I came last night. I looked the other direction and saw that the red and blue Dragonspyre runner led to a set of double doors.

Subtle, I thought to myself.

I strode down the hallway, keeping my head up and trying to keep up a strong persona. If I broke the early on, I’d never be able to do what I knew was coming.

Broke the early on

When I arrived at the door, I knocked twice.

“Please… enter.”

The large, white, ornate doors slowly started to swing open inwards, and I walked in, seeing Malistare at the end of the room at a large desk and sitting in a large red, cushioned chair.

I walked up to the desk and stood with my hands together behind me. “You summoned me?”

Malistare smirked at me and stood. “Well, those robes do suit you. How do they feel?”

“If you mean that they fit, yes, they do.”

He chuckled to himself. “No, no, no…. I mean do you feel official? Do you feel powerful?”

I raised an eyebrow but calmly responded, “I suppose so.”

DragonSpyrean armour tends to have that effect tbf

“Very well, very well,” he replied. “Now then, have a seat so that I may go over today’s plans with you.”

“Yes sir,” I said, sitting down as he did.

“I prefer the other response.” he said with another smirk.

“Yes, Father,” I corrected myself. My response wasn’t snide or rude. It was simply a perfect correction of myself.

“Ah… much better. Now then.” He leaned over the desk and pointed to the map. I recognized it immediately as Krokotopia and thought back to when Nicole first went missing there. I had to shake my head slightly to get rid of the thought. It didn’t go unnoticed though, because Malistare cleared his throat. Of course he knew everything that had happened to us. He then pointed to The Oasis. “This is the area of the main resistance force in Krokotopia. As you are likely aware, the majority of the citizens have already proven their loyalties to us. I need you to finish the job.”

I looked at the map ad realized what he wanted me to.

Really? Then could you explain it to us?

I took a breath and replied, “Yes, Father.”

“Wonderful…” he mused. “I have prepared a small troop for you to protect you on your mission. You shall leave immediately.”

“Yes, Father,” I replied, turning away.

“And one more thing, Malorn.” I turned back to him. “You are not to speak with anyone. You must complete your mission and return immediately.”

I nodded. “Understood.”

The doors to the office opened magically once again, and I walked through the doors and down the long hallway to where I was met by two dragons again. They escorted me to a large room with a world gate with many of the monsters that were with me when I spoke to Malistare last night.

Two at a time, they started to file through the gate, cackling and screaming as they went. My stomach dropped when I imagined what I would find on the other side of the world gate when I finally passed through.

When everyone else had filed through, the two dragons escorting me pushed me through the world gate. When I arrived at the Krokotopia gate, there was silence inside. But as I walked up to the doors, blood curdling screams made me nearly turn around. But the dragons knew better and pushed me through the doors.

I was met with my worst fears.

Salamanders and Kroks were screaming, running, or otherwise dead on the ground across The Oasis. There were so many bodies floating in the water that the small pond was turned red.

Be careful not to cut yourself on that Edge™, there.

The Wizards that had been there fighting back the forces were pushed to their limit by the time I had gotten through the gate.

There were enough that were fighting back if only barely. Some of the students saw me as I stepped forward toward the pond.

“It’s Professor Ashtorn!” one of my former Death students cried out.

“Please! Help us!” the Myth student next to him pleaded.

I swallowed hard and turned my head away from them.

As I stepped toward the pond of blood, I had to block out the screaming and crying of everyone around me. The two dragons that had lead me through the gate pushed me forward. One of them whispered to me, “You know what to do.”

I slowly nodded.

As I had done once before, I concentrated as hard as I could, clenching my eyes shut until I felt them burning on my face. When I opened my eyes, the world seemed to be painted in blood.

I started to slowly rise up, hovering over The Oasis and waved my staff over the scene before me. For a moment, the bloodshed and the screams stopped.

Then, the horror began.

Oh. This again.

I rose skeletons of the deceased from the ground and drew them out from the tombs surrounding The Oasis. The ghosts of the fallen royalty came to my aid and the silence quickly ceased.

Someone take away this girl’s thesaurus—

I watched the scene through the blood-stained lenses of my vision. The Wizards were dropping quickly. The remaining people of the resistance, including Marleybonians and Krokotopians were being slaughtered around me.

A quick glance to my left forced me to watch as one of the skeletons stab the Death wizard in the heart with his sword. As he was stabbed, he made eye contact with me. And as he fell, I knew that his final stare of shock and betrayal would haunt me forever.

When I finally lost the remainder of my energy, I fell to the ground in a heap. I felt my arms being grasped by clawed hands and allowed myself to be lifted up.

Silence burned through my thoughts. There was nothing left. No one.

The two dragons dragged me back through the world gate. I looked around to see the blood on the claws and mouths of the monsters. We had apparently recruited the skeletons other deceased that I had controlled.

Do you have any idea how much stupid little mistakes like these completely ruin the scene you’re writing? Not that it would even help much—

I was dragged all the way back down the long hallway through the office doors and into Malistare’s sight. The dragons dropped me on my feet, and I stood there numb as the doors shut behind them on their way out.

Malistare clapped. “Bravo!” he cheered at me. “That was record time, Malorn!”

I just stood there, staring at my feet. I couldn’t process what had just happened, so I just stood there. “Thank you, Father.” I replied, monotone.

I heard a pause before he continued. “You will have another mission tomorrow which I will assign you in the morning. You may go back to your chambers to wait for your meal.”

“Yes, Father.” I said, turning toward the doors.

“I’m so proud of you,” he said as I walked away.

“Of course, Father. I have learned from the best.”

[Author’s Note 3/29/16]: This is one of the final chapters. I decided to do one more final chapter and then an epilogue. I know this chapter was really dark, but it’s about to get really bad for Malorn. Thank you all for following the story all this time! Stay tuned for the finale!

We can hardly wait.

–Bishop

Continue reading.

The Flames of Death Spork II: Remaster Boogaloo, Chapter 14

Hiya. Not much to say about this one since we also don’t remember anything about it, so let’s just jump right in and see what we’ve got today. ONWARDS TO WHATEVER THE HELL THIS CONTINUES TO BE! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

[Author’s Note: 2/9/16]: I can’t believe how close to the end we finally are! I say we because if it wasn’t for how many viewers I’ve gotten and congratulations on the story as well as being a part of the “Best Wizard101 Stories” community, I would never have finished this story!

Mmm, who exactly is curating that community, chief

Thank you all for such an amazing ride, and this has been my favorite story I’ve written, and I’m sad to see it so close to the end.

We sure as Hell ain’t. Or maybe we are, because trust me, friends, what we do remember of the ending is so monumentally stupid that it really exceeds exactly no one’s expectations. No one who’s actually familiar with this thing, anyways.

Yet, I’m really proud of it! And without further ado, the next chapter! (Yes, there will be more after this… probably two and an epilogue.)

Chapter Fourteen: The Letter

In my eyes, it felt like the world was set on fire.

After the battle, Ravenwood and The Commons were in ruins. In the midst of the battle, spells and creatures had destroyed what was once the place I called home.

What?? You just said the same thing again but with different words.

Bartleby was dying. He had sustained so much damage from the fight that all of the Life students along with Moolinda had to take on the giant task of healing the ancient tree.

As for the rest of the students that were left, the first few days after the battle were devoted to putting the fallen to rest. A funeral pyre was made in the cave behind the Golem Tower, and most all of the students came.

At the funeral, Nicole and I had met up with Samantha, Cole, and Ryan again. We were all silent when we came face to face again after so long of being apart, but we hugged and knew we were all still there for each other.

I was in charge of the Death students. It wasn’t the most admired task, but we had the job of cleaning up the monsters while the others fixed up the buildings. In order to make the cleanup go faster, it took a lot of reanimation and spells – that once made those same monsters attack the school – to help out. There were more than a few wary looks directed our way, but others were just glad they didn’t have to do the job themselves.

What made it easier was Nicole. More often than not, on her breaks from helping out with the wreckage, she would come to where the Death students were keeping busy and bring us some lava lilies and snacks to cheer us up.

WHAT IS IT WITH YOUR OBSESSION WITH LAVA LILIES—

On the breaks she wasn’t with us, she was keeping up the spirits of the Life students that were struggling to help Bartleby.

When I had my breaks, I would go back to my mom to check on how she was doing. She had sustained some serious injuries, but Greyrose was taking good care of her.

Aside from all of that, students would occasionally come up to me and thank me for stopping the battle. While they knew that I was the reason it ended, they didn’t understand that those same powers – that came from my father – were what created the problem in the first place.

Except they weren’t??? Even if you and Malistaire somefuckinghow have these same nonsense powers, the fact that Malistaire used them to attack Wizard City has nothing to do with Malorn??? He didn’t kill anyone, he didn’t willingly hurt anyone or even leave any lasting damage when he stopped the fight. Making him feel guilty for his father’s actions just because they have the same powers is just giving him pointless Angst™ because,,,you can’t figure out a better way to do it and you want Nicole to Ease His Pain™ I guess.

It left a gaping hole in my stomach where my happiness for the end of the fight should have been; all I could feel there was guilt eating me alive.

Weeks had passed at this point, and Cole and I were on break from helping out. Cole had become a major force during the fight, commanding students to really help keep things under control.

“So what have Sam and Ryan been up to?” I asked dismissively, taking a sip of my coffee.

Cole set his mug down and ran a hand through his hair. “To be honest, it’s been hard to keep in touch with them after this whole mess went down. Samantha was my right-hand-man during the battle, and Ryan had helped the defenses protect the Headmaster’s office. Aside from that, I haven’t seen them all that much… except for Nicole, of course.”

I scoffed and set my drink down. “That’s Nicole for you. Taking care of everybody else first.

What the fuck else is new.

She told me a bit about how they’re doing, but it’s hard to find them sometimes, even for her.”

“I would imagine so,” he replied. He looked off to the sky in thought. I stirred my coffee a bit, pretending not to notice and give him a minute to think. After a pause, he asked me, “So… what happened when you guys left?”

“I was afraid you’d ask that,” I said, putting my chin in my hand.

Before I could say anything else on the matter, Cole quickly added, “Hey, if you don’t want to-”

I dismissed him with a wave of my hand. “No… it’s alright, man.” I sighed and sat back in my chair. “A lot’s happened… a lot’s changed.”

“I know,” he replied. “To be honest with you, I probed the Headmaster a bit about where you guys were…. I knew we couldn’t visit, but between Samantha, Ryan, and I, we were really worried. We’d known Nicole for a long time, and you’ve come to become a good friend,” he added at the end. I looked up at him and he smirked slightly.

Which still flies in the face of your shitty bad boy I Hate Everyone But Nicole Is Special™ characterisation. We’d almost call that character development, except Nicole hasn’t gone through any at all, and no, Getting Stronger™ doesn’t count, nor does her little stint in Malistaire’s company, given that it didn’t leave any lasting effects whatsoever besides make her Stronger™ and you just used it to try and get sympathy from your readers and to give Malorn some extra measure of Man Pain™.

I paused before answering. “So then you know….” He raised an eyebrow at me, so I sighed and said, “What happened in MooShu….”

Cole’s smirk slid clean off his face. He grimaced slightly and coughed. “I don’t know the details, but the Headmaster told me Nicole rescued you alone.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed darkly. Cole eyed me, and I just scoffed. “Trust me, I would’ve been better off dead.”

Cole sighed and tightened his grip on his mug. “Malorn, you know that’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?” I snapped back. He blinked at me before I said quietly, “Sorry.”

He held up a hand. “If you need to get something out man, do it,” he said with a shrug.

I sighed, figuring that just complying would be better than an argument. “The Headmaster knows what happened. He spared you the details.” When Cole was still eyeing me curiously, I continued. “Malistare,” I said, spitting out the name, “controlled me. More than that though, he convinced me to let him in.” Cole was staring at me wide-eyed. “I told you I would’ve been better off.”

“No, no, that’s not it,” he said quickly. “I’m worried about you. Whatever he did to you… it must have been horrible to have gotten you to that point.” I looked back at him again. “Look, you and I both know that you’re not exactly the favorite teacher at this school. But everyone here knows that one thing is true, and it’s that you’re a good guy… you’d never let something happen to the other teachers or your students… especially not your students.”

Bitch fucking make up your mind. What are you trying to convince us of? You keep going back and forth, like you’re afraid that if we ACTUALLY think that Malorn is inherently drawn towards the Side of Evil™ that we’ll stop sympathising with him and just think of him as the bad guy that Nicole can no longer reach.

I swallowed and looked down, staring into the bottom of the empty mug. “You’re right and wrong, I guess. Nicole tried to convince me that I was good too…. And I would do anything to protect my students…. But… I also did hurt them…. I hurt everyone to at least some extent when I ended the battle.”

That much was true, and we both knew it. When I had unleashed the energy to stop the monsters, Nicole had felt it the worst because she was closest, but at least she was prepared for how it felt. She was used-to the draining feeling from it after she was kidnapped by Malistare’s minions the first time.

You really need a beta reader.

As for the rest of the students fighting though, none of them were prepared. As if the Life students didn’t already hate myself and my school enough, the Life students that weren’t strong enough to help Bartleby were tasked with helping students damaged by the monsters… and my Death magic.

“Malorn, you saved them. It was either everyone gets a little beat up, or everyone dies.”

I slammed my fist on the table. “What if my magic did kill some of them?! You know that a lot of kids were on the brink of death when that happened.”

“And that’s not your fault!” Cole yelled back. I clenched my eyes shut with my fists shaking. I couldn’t look at him and could barely listen to what he was saying. “If you didn’t do that, so many more people would have died. You know that,” he said, sternly.

Finally I took a deep breath and sat back down, shakily. I put my face in my hands. I mumbled, “I’m sorry…. I just don’t want to hurt anyone…. And I already have….”

Once again. Make up your fucking mind.

I felt a firm hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Cole giving me a sad but sincere smile. “If it wasn’t for you, so many more people would have been hurt. You helped us win. We couldn’t have done it without you.”

I gave him back a small smile. “Thanks,” I said quickly. It wasn’t insincere, but I was still unsure of exactly what to feel.

“No problem, man,” he said retracting his arm with a nod.

Just then, Nicole appeared in a burst of flames. She was panting and hit the ground on her hands and knees.

“Nicole!” we both shouted and ran to her side. I sat down next to her as we pulled her to her feet. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“A vision…” she mumbled through panting for air, “I had a vision…. I know where… I know where Malistare is hiding.”

My eyes widened and Cole and I exchanged glances. I looked back to Nicole and my expression hardened. “Come on, let’s get her to Ambrose.”

Cole helped her hold onto me. “You two get to the Headmaster. I’ll get Samantha and Ryan.”

I nodded and we left in a burst of black ash and skulls.

A few minutes later, the others met us in the Headmaster’s office. He pulled up his chair for Nicole.

“According to Nicole’s explanation, it was a place flowing with lava and overrun with dragons,” Ambrose explained briefly.

“Dragonspyre…” Ryan said.

“Precisely,” he replied. He sighed as he took off his spectacles and wiped them on his cloak. He put them back on, and sighed. “I am entrusting the five of you with a special mission. You must travel to Dragonspyre together and find where Malistare is hiding. Once you do, you must report back to Ravenwood to receive further instruction. While the five of you are gone, we will be preparing for a full-scale invasion of Malistare’s forces. Do I make myself clear, young Wizards?”

All of us turned to looked at each other if only for a brief moment, and then we nodded to him.

“Very well, very well….” He shook his head, and as he coughed, he suddenly felt much older than he had just those few weeks ago. I felt my chest tighten at the thought. “You will make preparations to go tonight.”

“Yes, sir,” Cole said for all of us.

Nicole looked up from her chair, eyes narrowed. She pushed herself up slowly from the chair with some effort as Samantha helped her to her feet. “We can have a meeting at my place. Let’s go.” And with that, she teleported away in a burst of flames.

The others followed suit one at a time: Samantha in a burst of snowflakes, Cole in leaves, and Ryan in flames as well, but I hesitated. I turned to Ambrose who was leaning over his desk with his face in one hand.

“Sir…?” I asked walking over.

He turned to look at me, slightly startled. “Sorry my boy, I hadn’t realized you were still here….” He shook his thought and then asked, “Why haven’t you followed your friends?”

Shook…his thought. Shook his—bitch what the fuck do you mean? How did that even happen? It’s like you got caught between two different phrases and accidentally typed out some weird hybrid but didn’t fucking bother to read back and fix it to one or the other.

“I… I’m scared.” I admitted. He cocked an eyebrow at me with an obvious look of confusion. I continued, “I don’t want anything to happen to any of them. Isn’t this my fight?”

Then he put a hand on my shoulder. And I wouldn’t forget the words he said to me then. “It’s alright to ask for help from friends, Malorn. Sometimes… it’s for the best.”

I bit my lip but nodded anyway.

“Now, be on your way. They need you as much as you need them.”

“Thank you, Headmaster.” As I teleported away, I saw him smile… then grimace.

Back at Nicole’s house, everyone was sitting around her table as she took out some parchment and set it down. She waved her wand over it and a map of the world of Dragonspyre appeared in front of everyone. As she spoke, I walked over and sat down across from where she was standing. “Alright. How many of us have actually been here?”

Cole, Ryan and Samantha all raised their hands. “We were sent there awhile back to do some scouting,” Ryan explained. “We came across some spirits that were killed in the first Wizarding War…” he trailed off, eyeing me slightly. I nodded, understanding his hesitance. “Anyway, the place is crawling with his minions. After the summoning of the Dragon Titan, the world is mostly made up of Draconians, some deceased he raised from the dead…. But you have to be careful here because a lot of the place is in ruins and lava flows everywhere.”

“I’m not the biggest fan,” Sam piped up. “Luckily I have some extra damage to deal, but it’s pretty hot there on top of it all.”

“Anyone know a place we can set up a basecamp?” she asked.

Cole said, “There’s a few places in the Dragonspyre School of Magic that’s still intact. I think the School of Fire is still good.”

Once again, you’ve fucked up something you should know full well, it’s called DragonSpyre Academy.

Nicole scanned the map and drew a red circle around it with her wand, leaving a glowing marker on the spot. “Okay… where do we enter the world?”

“Here,” Sam said, circling the Spiral Gate with her wand, leaving a glowing blue indicator.

“Where haven’t you guys explored?”

“Here, here, and here,” Cole said, circling the places called the Dragon’s Roost, The Great Spyre, and The Crown of Fire. The areas were lit up with a glowing green marker.

Nicole scanned the map one last time before clearing her throat and turning to me. “Do you have any idea where he might be hiding?”

I looked down at the map and looked over each place circled in green. I stared at it for a few seconds before finally shaking my head.

“Okay, then it’s settled. We’ll visit each of these places one at a time. Depending on how long it takes us, we might be able to cover one per day. The first day, we’ll enter at the Spiral Gate and set up base at the School of Fire,” she said, tracing the spots with her wand, connecting the dots in orange, glowing lines. “Then we’ll hit the Dragon’s Roost, The Great Spyre, and then the Crown of Fire.” She took a deep breath and withdrew her wand from the map. “Any questions?”

She scanned the table, and most everyone was shaking their heads but me. She stopped on me as I hung my head. She didn’t let up though, and finally, I looked back up at her with pleading eyes. “I don’t want you guys to do this.”

And here comes the half-assed gallantry—

Nicole sighed and shut her eyes. Cole took over from there. “Malorn, we’ve been through this. It’s the Headmaster’s orders, and-”

“What if he’s wrong?!” I yelled suddenly. I stood up and slammed my fists on the table making Nicole tense and Sam yelp in surprise. “What if something goes wrong, and none of you are prepared for this?”

Now it was Ryan’s turn to get loud. “Malorn, no offense, but Cole, Samantha, and I have been working our asses off to get this intel. Number one, we’re not going to let you take this info and run off with it,” he said, holding up a finger, “and number two, you need our help. You said yourself that you can’t fight Malistare alone.”

“But I don’t want-”

“Any of us to get hurt,” Cole said calmly. “We know.”

“If you know, then why are you still insisting on coming?”

“Because we’re not letting you do this,” Nicole said sternly. She finally picked up her head and glared at me. “Alone, we get hurt. If our journey has proved one thing, it’s that. We’re going with you, and that’s final.” She put her hand on the center of the map and it rolled up instantly and then flew into her hand.

I sighed, knowing I had lost the fight. Sam looked to me and gave me a half-reassuring smile. I smirked back at her in an attempt to make peace with the group, but my stomach was still twisted into a knot by the end of it.

Later that night, we ate dinner together at the table, joking around about how none of us could really cook all that well, as we ate our burnt food.

But we thought Nicole could cook, we thought there was damn near NOTHING she couldn’t do—

It was a good night overall, and the topic of what we had to do the following day hadn’t come up since the meeting.

After dinner, we played fetch with Sir Chester and Kalohae in the yard outside of Nicole’s house and watched the stars on a bench. A unicorn appeared a few times in the woods around her house, and we joked about it maybe actually looking out for us. Maybe Nicole’s dad was watching out for us somehow.

When we all decided on what time to get up the following morning, we finally went to bed. Nicole and I curled up in her bed, and the others shared the couches in the living room.

Sometime during the night, I heard a tapping on the window of Nicole’s room. Startled, I snapped my eyes open and looked around. I rubbed my eyes awake and saw claws on the window and a Draconian flapping its wings.

I was about to grab Nicole, but the Draconian put a claw to its mouth and dropped an envelope on the windowsill before flying off.

I rushed over to the window and threw open the glass only to watch the Draconian fly off and out of sight. I looked down at the envelope. It was sealed with a red wax stamp, and nothing was written on it. I picked it up and shut the window.

Looking over to Nicole, I saw that she was still asleep, and peeking over the balcony told me the others were still out too. I sat on the window seat and carefully broke the wax seal.

Inside was a letter and a small pouch filled with a black dusty-looking material. My eyes narrowed at it, but I set it aside and unfolded the letter.

“Malorn,

I know of your predicament. And I have a deal to make with you. I know what they mean to you, and I know that you would never put them in harm’s way.

That being said, I may have a solution to your problem.

Instead of leaving with them tomorrow, you will do something yourself tonight. Take the potion I have made for you – and don’t worry, it won’t have any lasting effects – and blow a little portion of the powder onto each of your friends. The potion will keep them asleep until tomorrow afternoon, giving you enough time to leave and to travel.

Wait, fucking—potion or powder, which fucking one is it???

From there, you will go to Dragonspyre. Your friends are smart, indeed. You will follow the path from the Dragonspyre Academy to the Dragon’s Roost, then the Great Spyre and to the Crown of Fire. That is where I will be waiting for you.

Come alone and face your fate.

Your father.”

I dropped the letter to the floor and put my face in my hands.

He was right, and I had fallen right into his trap. I was sure of it.

I clenched my eyes shut when I felt the tears well up in my eyes. I balled my hands into fists to keep from sobbing. When I stood, I shakily bent down to the letter, folded it into a small square and pocketed it. Then I looked behind me to the bag of black dust.

Biting my lip, I snatched it off the bench and carefully made my way downstairs. As predicted, Sam was curled up with Cole on one couch and Ryan was snoring away, sprawled out on the one opposite them. I sighed before I took out a handful of powder and blew some of it out onto Cole and Sam. Their forms didn’t change much other than the drooping of their arms further and a twitch or two telling me they weren’t waking up any time soon. I did the same to Ryan and his snoring just got slightly louder.

Yeah, totally, because applying a foreign substance to your friends is a genius idea, a substance whose effects you have absolutely no idea of, which was sent to you by your worst enemy who has a reputation for utter ruthlessness. Could’ve fucking killed them for all you know and you would’ve been proper fucked.

As I walked past Kalohae, I blew a bit of dust onto him to make sure he wouldn’t wake up either. “I’m sorry, buddy,” I whispered.

When I went back upstairs to Nicole, I hesitated. I knew I didn’t trust Malistare, but the very last thing I could ever want was for him to hurt her or the others. So if this was what prevented a final showdown between him and her, then so be it.

I took out a smaller handful of powder and gently blew it over Nicole and Sir Chester. For a moment, I tensed; she turned over in her sleep to lay on her side, facing me. But she was sound asleep.

I breathed a shaky sigh of relief and walked over to her, bending down at the bedside. I didn’t know if this could be the last time I would ever see her, so at first, I didn’t know what to say or do. There was so much that I wanted for her and for us…. But I knew it was too late now. I knew that a happy ending was never in the cards for us.

Are You Sure About That

I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead as a tear fell onto her face. I sucked in a breath of air to keep my voice steady, but it broke anyway when I said, “I love you…. I-… I’m sorry.”

Then I stood up and turned away from her – the bag of powder in my hand – and I teleported away in a burst of skulls and black dust.

Jesus Christ we’re so tired

–Bishop

Continue reading.

The Flames of Death Spork II: Remaster Boogaloo, Chapter 13

Hello hello hello, and welcome to Chapter 13. We have officially surpassed the original and are now moving on to completely new content. Now, it’s been so long since we read this chapter that we cannot remember a blessed thing about it, so we’ll basically be flying blind here. But at least we no longer have to keep switching tabs/pages/straight-up split-screening the original and the rewrite as we go. Oh, y’all remember how this has a bunch of good reviews on FFN despite the fact that it sucks, right? Well I found her and this on AO3, and they are apparently a VERY different audience; it has a little over 300 hits as opposed to a grand total of seven kudos and ZERO comments, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find that hilarious as shit. And pray that any of our own works continue to stay out of a ratio that bad. Anyways, let’s get on with this. ONWARDS TO (HIGHLY DEBATABLE) GLORY! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

[Author’s Note 12/13/15]: Sorry the last chapter was so short! Obviously it ended up being cut right about where the story ended before I did the updates! So this is now new material to continue the story! I hope everyone enjoys it!

Chapter Thirteen: The Gift

When my eyes finally opened the next morning, I was immediately met with a throbbing in my head. I put my hand to my head, my sleeve falling down to reveal the gashes left by the cuffs and electrocution.

Nicole walked over and sat at the edge of my bed, handing me a glass of water. My eyes widened and I grabbed it a little too quickly. I gulped it down, some spilling onto my face in my rush to get it down my throat. I set the glass down clumsily on the floor beside me and wiped the water off my mouth with my arm. I looked back up to Nicole, sitting up further, and she gave me a look with her eyebrows slightly raised but eyes narrow.

We have just made every possible configuration of that face and still don’t know what she was going for here.

I looked away from her.

I felt a light touch on my arm but shrugged it off, pulling away. I heard her sigh. “Malorn, I don’t know what happened to you, but please-”

“That’s right, you don’t,” I stated bluntly. “Get away from me.”

I heard her sigh again and I snuck a glance at her to see her hang her head, looking at her hands. Chester was curled up on her lap, and she stroked him gently as if trying to find the right thing to say. “I won’t.”

“Then I’ll hurt you,” I said, turning back to her. She looked up at me, her eyes wide. But it wasn’t fear etched into her face… it was worry. “He can control me now. And I don’t know how well I can resist it from far away.”

“You can,” she said, leaning closer to me. She put a hand over mine and I jerked it away from her. She narrowed her eyes at me and reached for my hand again. I sighed, figuring it was ridiculous to not let her hold it and she twisted to face me, holding my hand in both of hers. “You have to have some faith in yourself.”

“That’s the problem. I don’t,” I said with a small snort. “I don’t trust myself anymore…. Not after… not after that.” I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what Malistare had done to me and what he had made me do… what he made me want to do just for food.

Except you never indicated that. You never once indicated that Malorn on ANY level actually wanted to do what Malistaire was forcing him to, you were so focused on reiterating to us that Malorn was a good person and that he didn’t enjoy what he was being forced to do. Yeah, you said that he smiled, but you didn’t say that he actually derived some sick sense of satisfaction or joy or whatever from doing it. We thought that the only reason he smiled was because Malistaire was forcing him to do that too.

I cringed at the memory and clenched my eyes shut.

But that reaction just made her squeeze my hand. “I do,” she said quietly. I looked back to her and she was staring straight into my eyes. As much as I wanted her to be afraid of me… to run from me, far away, I knew she wouldn’t go even if I begged her.

“You shouldn’t!” I said louder, coughing as I did. She frowned at me, but I took a deep breath before continuing. “I am dangerous. You shouldn’t trust me, and I shouldn’t be near you. I don’t want to hurt you….”

She sighed and squeezed my hand again and looked me in the eyes. “I will always trust you.”

I scoffed at her. “That’s what I was afraid you’d say.” I shook my head, having a crazy thought. I chuckled to myself then looked back at Nicole. “Maybe I should just go with him.”

Nicole’s eyes went wide for a brief moment before narrowing at me. “I know you’re just trying to scare me away. It’s not going to work.”

I laughed darkly. “I’m not.” I said, staring her in the eyes. “If I side with him, he won’t have a reason to go after you anymore. And maybe you can beat him… and me.”

Slap!

I turned my head back to her, rubbing my cheek. I narrowed my eyes at her and smirked. Her hand was shaking and her breath was raspy. She had tears in her eyes, and when I saw that, my heart sank. The smirk slid clean off my face and I looked down.

“Don’t you dare say that!” she choked out. “Don’t you dare!”

“You know I could end up falling under her control, Nicole,” I said slowly… quietly. “You know what he can do to me. You know what he can make me do.”

“I don’t care!” she stood up, throwing her hands in the air. Sir Chester was startled by the sudden yelling and he flew off her and into the other room. “Do you honestly think that I could possibly kill you?” She stared at my wide-eyed. I could feel the heat of her fire magic radiating off her in anger.

Oh, so THAT’S why him saying that made her angry. To me it just sounded like he had broken character and switched back to trying to convince her this was the best way to keep her safe. I didn’t know that when he said ‘beat’ he actually meant ‘kill’, given that they’re, y’know, not the same thing and words have meanings for a reason??

All at once, the smell of lava lilies I had always related her to filled my senses and my body warmed.

Again with the fucking lava lilies—

My cheeks flushed and she glared down at me. “What the hell Malorn!”

Bracing my hand against the wall behind me, I slid my legs over the side of the bed. She watched me, not moving to help me. I slowly stood with my legs shaking to support me but managed. I put my hands and her shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. “I tortured a magical creature.”

She shook her head, putting hands on my wrists where they laid on her shoulders. “I don’t care. That’s not you.”

“I liked it Nicole!”

Silence.

After a moment of her staring into my eyes, she looked down. I waited with baited breath, wondering if she believed me. She whispered, “Why are you lying to me?”

“I’m not….” I breathed.

She shook her head again and I visibly tensed. “You are.”

“What’s it going to take for me to get rid of you?” I yelled finally. We were still close together but I didn’t care. I needed her to listen to me.

She clenched her eyes shut at the sound and took a shaky breath. Then she turned back to me, staring at me again. “You’ll have to kill me before I stop challenging your fate.”

‘ChAlLeNgInG YoUr fAtE’??????? Lmfao okay so wait, melodrama aside, let me get this straight—you don’t think that this whole ‘destiny’ thing that Malistaire’s been pushing on him is bullshit, that Malorn is just afraid and that there’s no way for him to actually go all Big Bad on you beyond the risk of mental domination by Malistaire? You genuinely believe that he is in fact the sins of his father and that there is actually something intrinsically, immutably, bona-fide evil about him and that he is indeed ‘fated’ to embrace it and become Malistaire’s acolyte, Hellbent on mercilessly conquering the Spiral, and that this fate would otherwise be inescapable for him, were it not for Oh So Special You with your Oh So Special Powers and the Oh So Special Love you two share?? That’s what you’re saying?? That’s what you’ve been saying this whole time??? Congratulations, Nik, I didn’t think that you could find another way to make your whole damn story even stupider than it already is—not just this chapter, but the whole damn story up to this point—and yet here you are and here it is.

At that, I let my arms slide off of her shoulders. I slumped back down onto the bed and put my face in my hands. I mumbled, “I’d rather die.”

I felt her hands on mine, pulling them off my face. I looked back at her as I tried to force back the tears in my eyes. She was kneeling on the floor in front of me and she looked at me, smiling. “I knew you were lying because I know you. And I knew that this isn’t who you are.”

Without warning, she leaned into me and kissed me hard. I tensed at first before cupping her face in my hands. She pushed herself up onto my chest and laid me down on the bed below her and she was on top of me, forcing me to just let go.

“I love you,” she breathed. “I won’t let you go.”

*One week later…*

For the week that followed coming back, I was in a fog. Mostly, I followed Nicole silently around the house and the town outside of the palace as she did various chores, mixed potions and followed some kind of routine she seemed to pick up when I had been gone. I didn’t know what to say to her about everything that had happened, so I mostly just replied when spoken to.

That morning, I left earlier than Nicole and sat by the palace pond. I had taken to pick grass out of the ground and tossing it in the water as I watched the fish dart around in all different directions, making the water ripple.

But my thoughts weren’t on the fish. As I stared at them, I imagined Wizard City and what it must have been like during the attack. I thought about how after that attack, I was somewhere else, attacking someone else as I struggled to survive.

I didn’t even notice the fluttering of wings as Nicole settled down next to me.

Then why did you just describe it.

They disappeared in a burst of flames as she sat but didn’t say anything. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder and I slowly turned my head to look at her.

In the few months since we’d left Wizard City behind, Nicole had seemed to have aged quite a lot. Her eyes were still the same brilliant blue, but they were sunken with shadows under them. Her hair that she had once kept perfectly brushed daily was now slightly tangled and unkempt. Her body physically had gained a lot of muscle mass and she certainly wasn’t the kid I met behind the Fire School anymore.

Thank you, Captain Duh.

But still she smiled at me, and as always, it was genuine. It pained me to look at that smile because I couldn’t help but wonder if it faded when I was away from her for that time or if she wouldn’t look at me that way anymore if she had witnessed what I had done.

She kissed me then, but I pulled away after only a moment and looked down. I wanted to tell her how scared I was of becoming my father and how much I worried about her and what he could do to her if I was out of the picture.

“Malorn…” she said my name quietly. I didn’t look up, staring back at the fish. She let her hand drop from my shoulder. Neither of us knew what to say anymore.

Just then, a voice was echoing in my ear, and I looked to Nicole as she went wide-eyed. “Malorn! Nicole!”

“Ambrose?” I asked, standing up. Nicole and I stared at each other, gaping and I knew she had heard it too, if only for a moment.

There was a static-y silence that followed before we could hear his voice again. “Wizard City… we need your help….” His voice was weak as if he wasn’t going to be able to talk for much longer.

Bitch did you just write that there was poor reception over a psychic link

Before I could say anything, Nicole’s wings appeared in a burst of flames on her back and she picked me up under my arms and flew us back to the house. We grabbed our bags as quickly as we could and I snapped my fingers, making Kalohae disappear into my bag, and Nicole did the same for Chester.

She picked me up again and flew us to the world portal in the town and we quickly jumped through.

Okay but wouldn’t it be faster and less effort for her to fly on her own while you ride Kalohae instead of her having to carry you???

When we reappeared inside of Bartleby though, both of us stood frozen.

We looked around us and above us, and all we saw were dying branches. It looked as if Bartleby had been set aflame, and Nicole and I looked to each other, our mouths hanging open.

OH MY GOD, SHE FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO SPELL ‘BARTLEBY’ RIGHT. Now why can you still not spell ‘Malistaire’?

I called out Kalohae and I quickly pulled Nicole onto his back as we flew to the exit. Once outside though, we had entered a warzone.

Wizards were casting spells as Lost Souls and Banshees.

We have read this sentence and the following paragraph several times over and we still cannot puzzle out—oh. Oh my fucking God, it was another Goddamn typo. She meant AT Lost Souls and Banshees. We were sitting here trying to figure out what the fuck she was trying to say.

Monsters ran through Ravenwood like they owned the place. Half of the classrooms were in rubble and the cobblestone streets had been torn apart. There were kids in a corner behind the dorms crying out for help and we flew over before a Vampire could attack them.

“Fire Dragon!” Nicole yelled out. This wasn’t a fight with dueling circles though. No one was following the rules that dictated how a standard duel had always gone. In a flash of fire, an enormous Fire Dragon appeared in front of us and flew flames onto the Vampire, killing it instantly. It flew up and burst into flames as Nicole and I ran over to the two kids, helping them up.

“What happened?” I yelled over the sound of a building falling apart.

The two kids screamed, a boy and a girl that looked alike other than the clothes. The girl dressed in light blue and white said through her shaking shoulders, “We’ve been fighting for weeks! Another battle started today out of nowhere and the school got overwhelmed!”

Said. Through. Her shaking shoulders. Through.

I would love to study you. We KNOW you’re a native English speaker, and we’ve spoken to you and heard you speak outside your writing, and you don’t have any problems there, so you have NO excuse for the awkward as fuck prose you consistently employ.

The boy piped up, “You have to save Professor Falmea!” he called to me, and only then I noticed he was dressed more similarly to Nicole. “She’s defending some of the students at the Fire School!”

Nicole and I looked to each other and hopped back onto Kalohae, pulling the twins with us. “Ya!” I yelled, throwing the reins hard. Kalohae flew quickly, dodging attacks left and right. As we flew past the Ice School, we heard the Ice Tower collapse, and Kalohae had to fly low to keep us from getting hit by the rubble.

When we got to the Fire School, there were two wizards at the door attacking the monsters that passed by. I dropped down Kalohae, shouting “Wraith!” The Grim-Reaper styled monster appeared with tombstones surrounding it for power and the two Banshees screamed and turned to dust. The two wizards looked to me with wide eyes and smiled.

“Malorn!” they yelped, rushing over to me.

“Where is she?” I asked, disregarding their excitement.

Their faces fell. “She’s inside. Hurry!” the one said, prying open the door. Nicole and I ran in, Kalohae being recalled to my backpack. At the back of the classroom, Dalia was on the ground in the arms of Greyrose and Moolinda was healing her.

“Mom!” I yelled, running to her side. I knelt down beside her and she turned to look at me, her eyes going wide.

“Malorn… You shouldn’t be here….” she said, her voice faint. She had bruises and blood scattered on her face and arms – now-visible – from her torn clothes.

See?? Fucking look at this shit—

I took her hands in mine and squeezed gently. “Ambrose called for us,” I said, nodding to Nicole. She glanced over to her and nodded her head.

“I haven’t seen him,” Moolinda said, putting a towel on Dalia’s head. “Your mother will be fine but I think it’s best if you find him quickly,” she said, not looking away from her.

I narrowed my eyes at Dalia’s defeated form and Greyrose put a small hand on my shoulder. “We’ll take of her. But go! You need to get to Ambrose!”

I say for the millionth fucking time, would it kill you to proofread this Godforsaken thing before you post it

I clenched my teeth and finally stood, setting down my mom’s hands. I looked to Nicole and she nodded to me. We ran back to the doors and braced ourselves.

“Kalohae!” I yelled and he appeared in front of us again. I pulled Nicole back on and threw the reins to make him go, dodging more falling debris and spells being fired through the air. We made our way through the tunnel to the Commons and gaped at what we saw.

I hadn’t thought it was possible, but the Commons were in a worse state than Ravenwood. Most of the buildings were in rubble and the wizards waded through the lake to fight off the incoming monsters. We headed to Ambrose’s Office, taking the tower entrance, and the Spiral that appeared in front of us was more unstable than I had ever seen it before. The tendrils of the stars whipped around violently and glowed with a purple light. Worlds I didn’t recognize were thrown through the air and slammed against a bookcase or a wall. We ducked our heads below it as we burst through the doors into the office where the entire room looked like a hurricane has rushed through with flower pots broken and books everywhere. Ambrose was on the ground with Gamma at his side, and was in an even worse position than my mom.

We ran over to him, Nicole rolling up her sleeves and starting to work on him. He wasn’t conscious, and Gamma quickly tried to sum up what happened.

“The Headmaster has saved countless students’ lives today, but the magic he used is completely depleted!” he yelped. “The message he sent to you two was the last thing he could do before he passed out!”

“Nicole…” he groaned as she tried to help him sit up. I put my hand on his back to help, and she put a green potion to his lips, forcing him to drink it. He coughed once before he clenched his eyes shut and back open again. “Thank you, young wizard. I’m so glad I got through to you.” He turned to me then and sat upright. “You’re alive….” he said, his eyes wide. He grunted and then said, “I knew Malistare had gotten his hands on you, but I’m afraid I had problems here that I had to take care of.”

I scoffed at him. “Headmaster, I’m just glad you’re alright. Don’t apologize.”

He looked at me hard then looked down. The way he looked told me he knew what Malistare had likely put me through. But he seemed to shake the thought before speaking again. “We need your help to win this battle, Malorn.”

I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Me? But most of the professors are out of commission. The students are only handling it based on their sheer numbers.”

,,,Wouldn’t that be exactly why they need your help??? They need all hands on deck???

“Their numbers… are dropping… I’m afraid….” He looked grim when he spoke and Nicole closed her eyes at the words.

“Well what can I do?” I asked. “I’m just a Death School Teacher, and not even the high-leveled one, at that.”

“Dworgyn is gone.” We were silent for a moment before he continued after a loud explosion could be heard relatively close to the office. “We need someone with control over these monsters. And if my theories prove true, you have your father’s… gift.” He said the word with a twinge to it that didn’t quite sound like a curse but more of a distaste in his mouth.

I shook my head. “No. I won’t do it.”

Nicole quickly put her free hand on my arm. “Malorn… I think it’s our only option.”

“You know why I can’t!” I yelled.

Ambrose shook his head. “Malorn, my boy… the good in you is enough to shine through. We just need you to control them long enough to distract them from attacking. Then we can let the other wizards finish them.”

The fuck??? Ambrose isn’t Dumbledore, dude, he would NEVER put a student—or a teacher, at least not one who’s still a damn kid—in that kind of position.

I looked from Ambrose back to Nicole and sunk my teeth into my bottom lip. It was one thing for Malistare to control me and force my powers to come out… but it was another thing entirely to use them willingly.

“You can do it,” Nicole said quietly. “Challenge your fate with me.” She took her arm off my shoulder and held out her hand to me.

I looked into her eyes and sighed. I took her hand and together we helped ease Ambrose back into his office chair. I gave her hand a small squeeze before we looked back to Ambrose. “I’ll do it.” I looked back to Nicole. “Let’s go.”

We ran toward the door and I vaguely heard Ambrose say to us, “Best of luck, young wizards….”

When we got outside, we were met with the sounds of war echoing through the commons. Screams of pain and twisted laughter of the monsters around us mingling together almost in a muffled sound of misery.

I looked back to Nicole. “How do I get every monster’s attention?” dismay etched in my tone.

Nicole narrowed her eyes and looked around. In the distance, Bartleby’s leaves were falling as spells hit his branches left and right. “Bartleby!” she shouted.

“Nicole… we can’t save him…” I said trailing off.

Bitch, Bartleby is at the centre of the Spiral and his magic is what’s keeping the whole thing from falling apart, if he’s dying you’ve got BIGGER problems on your hands.

“I don’t know if we can save him,” she said, “but we can use him to help us.” She leaned forward and in the usual burst of flames, bright wings erupted from her back and she stretched them out and fluttered them. She put her arms out to me and said “We’re doing this together.”

I nodded to her and backup into her arms. She hooked hers under mine and carried me upward, into the sky. We didn’t even bother to use to the tunnel to Ravenwood and instead flew over the fallen stone buildings up to the top of Bartleby where we could see most of the small world of Wizard City. At the top, she set me down on some branches that were still in-tact and floated close above me.

I turned to face her. “You know I don’t want to do this.”

She nodded. “I know. I trust you. Just trust yourself, now.”

I nodded back to her and turned away, looking down over the sides of the tree to see the battle raging on below us. I took a deep breath before closing my eyes and holding my staff over my head, my other hand reaching out.

I focused all of the energy inside of me up and outward to the world below. At first, nothing abnormal was happening; I just felt really strained as intense pain rippled through my chest. But when I opened my eyes, the world was bathed in bright red light from my glowing eyes, and black energy was radiating off my body. I felt the cold chill of it seep outward and away from me. I didn’t dare look back at Nicole because I could feel her small warmth radiate above and behind me growing dimmer. I knew I had to do this quickly.

In an instant, I clenched my fist and waved my staff across my body, and the battle fell silent. I looked around me to see that all of the monsters had stopped fighting and the students stopped and stared in awe… at me and at the enemies.

We Are Once Again Asking What the Hell This Even Is

“Now!” Nicole yelled as loud as she could.

And then the world seemed to explode around us in blinding colors of the rainbow as wizards of every school shot their magic at the beasts before them. Monsters collapsed and screamed, erupting into dust and energy of black skulls one by one.

I unclenched my hand and dropped my staff, falling onto my hands and knees. I was panting and heaving for air and Nicole was at my side in a second.

“You did it…” she breathed. She hugged me from the side awkwardly and I sat up to put a hand on her back.

When we pulled apart, I looked around and finally at her. She smiled at me as always, even though she was weak from the dark energy that had ravaged the entire world of Wizard City, and she had hovered directly over the source of it all. Her light and warmth that radiated from her was faint now, though I knew it would replenish again with time.

Guilt consumed me in seconds and I felt the tears start to trickle down my face. I hung my head in shame at what I had done to her and probably the entire world with just a wave of my staff.

Nicole held me there as I let the sobs shake my body.

Well I suppose this is as good a start as any to a Friday the 13th.

–Bishop

Continue reading.

The Flames of Death Spork II: Remaster Boogaloo, Chapter 12

Here we are, here we are, Chapter 12, which means we will soon officially surpass the original and move on to completely new, never-before-riffed content. Just a reminder, this chapter used to be the last half of Chapter 11, so if you’ve been comparing the old version to the new one, you’ll need to go back to the second half of the original Chapter 11. WE TRUDGE ONWARDS! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

[Author’s Note]: Not sure if anyone if aware, so I’ll say it here too. Hello everyone! I am writing stories again! I recently ended my Fruits Basket fanfiction and I edited all of its chapters. I did the same here, correcting grammatical errors, continuity problems, etc.

And you did a glorious job of it, clearly.

So some of this chapter is very similar to the original Chapter Eleven: The Burden, but I broke it into two separate chapters and added some stuff. Feel free to go back and read the revisions.

I’m also not sure if I’m going to end this one just yet. I went through Cursed Blood, True Souls pretty quickly, but I don’t plan on doing that with this one. I will probably edit Spiritflame and end that story before this one since that one is so old. This one was relatively easy since my writing was better as I got older, while Spiritflame is going to be an uphill battle….

You mean your writing used to be worse?????

Anyway, please enjoy the story! Welcome back! And to those new, welcome to the updated story!

Chapter Twelve: The Eyes

A few days had gone by… or at least I guessed it had been that long. I had lost track of time. My of the time, I hung my head, not wanting to use more energy than necessary. At that point, my wrists were cut up from the cuffs holding me to the cables. I would lean my weight on them when I couldn’t stand anymore and my hands felt numb most of the time.

I heard the door slide open and loud, slow footsteps grew closer. I didn’t dare look up. Eventually I felt cold, bony fingers on my chin, lifting my head up. His red, piercing eyes bore straight into my green ones.

Malistaire’s eyes are,,,fucking grey fkdshfjdks?????

“Hmmph,” he mused. He dropped my chin suddenly and it smacked down to my chest briefly. “You have your mother’s eyes.”

Well at least THAT’S correct, Malorn and Sylvia both have green eyes, even though I say for the bazillionth fucking time, Sylvia isn’t his fucking mum

I looked back up staring daggers into him. “Good. Wouldn’t want anything from you.” I spat.

“Tsk, tsk my boy. I have a little surprise for you today….” He gestured to the door as it slid open again. Two wraiths came in and between them, they were holding a black and red Piggle by the arms. It flapped its wings vigorously in a weak attempt to flee. It whimpered as it struggled. “Does this look familiar to you?”

I squinted my eyes to be sure, but it looked just like the Piggle I started my questing with. I could tell it wasn’t the same one though. I small wave of relief washed over me, but there was still a small lump in my throat.

“You’re going to hurt this little one,” he said as he walked over and patted it on the head. My eyes widened.

“I won’t do it.” I said firmly.

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice.” He snapped his fingers and the cables streamed electricity into my body. I twisted in pain, clenching my teeth. When the electricity stopped, I was gasping.

“You can hurt me all you want. I’m not gonna do it.”

“I figured you would refuse….” he said with a sigh. “In that case… I’ll have to make you.”

His eyes started glowing red, the same way they did when he tried to control me back at Sunken City. It was the same way mine had responded.

Dude, what the fuck is this shit????? Malistaire has literally never been shown to have beguiling powers of any kind, I mean unless you count the literal in-game spell ‘Beguile’, but if he knew that spell, why wouldn’t he have fucking used it in the actual in-game storyline??? So yeah, no, this is just more bullshit you’re pulling out of the air and slapping onto him Because Evil™.

My vision blurred and my head started pounding. All I saw was red lighting the room from both of us. I started panting and moaning in agony.

Finally, the pain stopped and my eyes were still glowing.

“There we go….” Malistare sneered with a grin. “Now… I don’t want you to kill it… just simply… play with it.”

I couldn’t speak. In my head, I was screaming to make myself stop. But I couldn’t control myself anymore.

I raised my hand high over my head, still in cuffs and started shooting black streams of energy at the Piggle. It whined and squealed as I shot at it, and I couldn’t help but smile at its pain.

What was wrong with me? Inside, I was cringing at what I had become. I couldn’t stand to think that it was me doing it…. It was like I was watching through a screen into the world.

Bitch WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? You’re trying to make it out to us like Malorn is secretly drawn to power and that he has Deep Dark Impulses™ that he’s ashamed to admit, but also constantly underlining the fact that that isn’t the real him and he would never want to hurt anyone, and that the only reason he is is because Malistaire is literally forcing him to via mind control??? Is he secretly evil or is he not, is this his fault or isn’t it, make up your fucking mind. You can’t have a morally grey character and ALSO completely woobify them at the same time, that’s not how that works, that’s not how any of this works—

The Piggle was squealing again, but when it whimpered, the sound was familiar. I remembered the sound of Sir Chester nuzzling up to Nicole when she was in the coma.

Nicole….

As quickly as I had thought about her, I dropped my hand to hanging from the cuffs again. My eyes stopped glowing and I hung my head, panting.

Because of course the mere thought of this girl is enough to break Malistaire’s thrall completely.

My face stung as if all the pressure of my blood had rushed to the front of my face.

Malistare clapped. My head shot up and I glared straight at him. “Very good…. This is certainly an improvement.”

I didn’t respond. He had finally overcome me. I looked over to the Piggle and my eyes softened. He was alive and panting, trying to get over the pain. I mouthed “I’m sorry.” But the Piggle looked away from me. I hung my head in shame.

Malistare walked up to me and patted me on the shoulder. I spun my head as quick as I could and tried to bite him but he pulled back too quickly. He snapped his fingers and shocked me again for a few seconds. When it was over, I was panting again. I looked up at him.

He smiled before turning and walking out.

*A few days later…*

The door was opening again. It didn’t even faze me at that point. The footsteps were smaller and quickly paced. Once they were close enough, I heard a panicked voice.

OH GOLLY GOSH GEE, I WONDER WHO IT COULD FUCKING BE

“Malorn? Malorn?! Malorn, we need to get you out of here!” A heard a faint flapping of wings near the girl, whoever she was.

it is a mystery

I still didn’t look up. “Malorn, are you alright? Oh, what did he do to you?” I felt a hand under my chin lift up my head. “Open your eyes!”

My eyes opened.

My heart sank.

Her hair was pulled into a long braid behind her, and she was dressed in the black of the ninjas of MooShu. But as always, her blue eyes seemed to glisten with the comfort of love and purity.

*spittake* ‘Comfort of love and purity’????? ‘PURITY’??????? BITCH,  W H A T

“Nicole….” I rasped her name. “Get away from me. Get out while you can.”

“No! I’m not leaving you!” She started to undo the cables, melting the cuffs with her fire magic. “This is gonna burn a little.”

A little??

“You don’t… you don’t understand….” How could I tell her that I could become Malistare’s pawn at any moment? That I had become his pawn, if only temporarily.

Well. For starters, I would say ‘I could become Malistaire’s pawn at any moment.’

“There’s no time!” The first cuff melted away.

“Malistare…. He can….”

“It’s okay, I’ll get you out of here.”

“Leave me.” I pleaded.

“No!” she said, shaking her head. She continued melting the cuffs.

“He can control me, Nicole!” I shouted with all of the energy left in me. She stopped melting the cuff and looked into my eyes. She searched them for something… anything but what she just heard.

“Wh… what?”

Oh good, she changed the part where she said that it wouldn’t happen because ~*~*~she loves him~*~*~

“My fiery light…” I said, putting it as gently as possible,

*projectile vomits into bucket*

“I love you more than anything. But if you let me go, I could kill you.”

She looked down and took a shaky breath. “I’m going to save you. I’ll do anything.” There was no use. I’d have to let her take me. I knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer. The second cuff melted off. I fell to the ground and groaned. I got on my hands and knees with Nicole helping me up. “Come on, there’s not much time.” She stood me up with my arm draped over her shoulder. Sir Chester flew under my other arm, holding me around his slim neck.

“YOU!” Malistare roared with a slam of the door. His eyes turned completely red, glowing again not even the outer rim of his eyes showing white. He started to charge at us, but Nicole shot out fire blasts faster than he could run. I felt myself slowly losing control, and I started panting as I tried to focus on Nicole. He dodged some and got singed by others. Nicole clasped her eyes shut, and just as his hand reached out to grab me, we teleported away in a mist of flame.

*Seconds later…*

We appeared in the main courtyard of the palace.

“Ugh….” Nicole groaned and collapsed to the floor. I rolled away from her without any energy left.

“Nicole….” I reached out for her.

All of a sudden, a burst of flames formed around her and fiery red-orange wings erupted from her back. My eyes widened as she slowly got on her hands and knees, then glided toward me with her wings. She picked me up in her arms and with Sir Chester fluttering behind, and flew quickly back to the hut.

Ooooof course.

“How did you…?”

“I got a few tips from Ambrose….” She trailed off, focusing on the hut ahead of us. “He told me that my dad used wings too. He created his own wings using magic, and passed it onto me. Technically, any wizard can have them, but it’s less common with all the newly discovered magical creatures people use to get around. I find these easier though… and less hazardous to the magical creatures. They’re just Orange Fairy Wings.”

So you’re taking a mount that literally anyone can buy in the game and therefore probably something that literally any Wizard could learn to utilise and turning THAT into more of your bullshit Super Special Hereditary Powers?? Additionally, these would require your OWN energy to use and to carry Malorn at the same time instead of riding Kalohae or a broom or something else, so if you were completely exhausted like you were just a few paragraphs ago you shouldn’t have been able to do this in the first place.

“He’s alive?” All I could process was that she spoke to Ambrose. I cared about her dad, but I was in too much of a fog to think about that. I thought that after that one time Ambrose spoke to us, he was gone.

“Yeah…. I’ll tell you more another time.” She looked down at me and smiled weakly. The tears in her eyes made me realize what my absence had done to her.

The smile sparked something in me. It was there before, but fainter from being in Malistare’s clutches for so long. It was finally a warm glow again.

We arrived at the hut and she flew me into the bedroom, resting me on the cot.

“Rest now.” She stroked my hair.

I was so exhausted that I fought to keep my eyes open. I needed to tell her the truth. “Nicole… you can’t trust me….”

She shook her head and she took off her mask. She leaned down and kissed me on the head. “I trust you with my life Malorn.”

“But-”

“Shh…. Just rest. We’ll figure it out.” she said with a small smile.

I didn’t have any more energy to fight it. I drifted off.

Well, this was at least marginally better than the saccharine ending of before.

–Bishop

Continue reading.

The Flames of Death Spork II: Remaster Boogaloo, Chapter 11

Good evening lads, and welcome back to the bus fire. We’ve finally made it to Chapter 11, the last chapter we did in our original spork. This is where things really start to diverge between the original and the rewrite; the last half of the previous Chapter 11 was turned into the new Chapter 12, and she entirely rewrote the first chunk of the chapter (before the one-week timeskip). SNONWARDS (SNAIL ONWARDS)! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

Chapter Eleven: The Burden

When I woke up, the room spun all around me. I immediately moved my hand to my forehead and tried breathing deeply. A low groan escaped my lips.

“How do you feel?” I vaguely saw Nicole standing over me. She sat down on the mattress next to me.

“Like shit.” She gave me a sad smile at my lame attempt to make a joke. “Come on… I’m alive, aren’t I?” Her frown faded. “Okay, that was bad.”

She shook her head and smoothed out my hair. “You’re going to be fine.” She kissed my forehead and stood, turning to walk away. But I grabbed her wrist gently and pulled her back into a kiss. I held the side of her face in my hand and felt at peace for even just those few fleeting moments. I released her and gave her a smile which she returned.

I watched her walk away over to where Chester was laying on a mattress. He was awake now with what appeared to be a broken wing. It broke my heart to see Nicole tending to his wound. She loved that dragon like her own kid, and he’s been with her as long as I had known her. It would kill her to lose him.

,,,Okay but if he’s been with her ever since you first met her, and you’ve known her for over a year now, then why is he still just a baby

“How is he?” I asked, slowly moving my legs to the side of the bed. I winced at the pain in my head, but I tried to cover it up.

Nicole glanced up, pretending not to notice my evident pain. “He’s doing much better now… Thanks.” She paused.

Something clicked in my head. “How long have I been out for?”

“When you met me on the porch, it was the first time you’d woken up since it happened… about a week. Today was the first time again since then… about four days ago.”

I shook my head but instantly regretting it, nearly falling back onto the pillow entirely. “A week and a half…?” She looked at me, watching to make sure I was alright. I felt vulnerable then, probably how she felt when she woke up for the first time after she was in a coma.

Girl, what the fuck is up with you and your apparent coma fetish. They’ve now both been in one, and this is Malorn’s second time. Find new toys.

That was it for me though. Now more than ever, I was a burden on her. I was dangerous to her. My father could kill her because of me.

I paused, looking around the room before I remembered something. “Wait… Do we know what happened to Ambrose?” She looked down. “Nicole…”

“Wizard City was attacked that day too… along with Earth.”

“You’ve gotta be freakin kidding me…” Earth? Of all places? “Why?”

“This…” Nicole reached into her robe’s pocket and pulled out a newspaper from a week ago. It was The Times from Marleybone. She held it out to me. I snatched it from her hands. The headline read, “The Next Magical War Has Begun!” The moving picture on the cover showed Ravenwood School in ruins.

Photos/drawings in the Spiral do not move, at least not in anything as commonplace as a newspaper. Again, not every franchise with magic in it follows the exact same rules as Harry Potter.

My jaw dropped, and I looked at Nicole. She nodded, confirming my fears. I turned the page, my hands shaking.

More pictures of Wizard City on fire with Wizard students fighting off Skeletons and Banshees. Many of the Death School students had joined in the attack. I recognized some of my former students. I shook my head in disgust and crumpled the newspaper, throwing it across the room.

“I don’t understand… What’s happening?” My head was spinning but for more than just nausea this time. “All of my students… gone wrong.”

“That’s not true.” I looked up at Nicole. “Only half of them joined in the attack on Ravenwood. The other half fought alongside the other students. You didn’t finish reading it, did you?”

“No. I don’t want to look at it.”

“It’s a rebellion. They’re looking for us. Malistare is looking for us.”

Honey he’s BEEN looking for you, you KNOW this already

“No…no…no, no, no, no…” I just kept repeating the word over and over. I was losing my mind. “We can’t keep running. We have to face my father.” Nicole just shook her head. “Well why the fuck not?!”

“He wants you to help him…” she said slowly, “and he wants me dead.”

I shook my head. “There’s no reason for him to want you dead. He’s using you to trap me.”

“Malorn….” she said slowly. “Remember how I told you what happened to me?”

I winced at the memory of finding her… hanging there… barely alive. “How could I forget?”

“Remember that I told you he stopped feeding me altogether?”

I stopped and looked at her. “Yeah?”

“He does want me dead…. He recognized me.”

My breath caught. “What?”

“He told me…. My father was the one that defeated him the first time.

What fucking first time??? You NEVER told us that there had been a previous confrontation with Malistaire, you never explained how, if so, why he was suddenly was a threat again, since I assume after his first defeat they would’ve done something like, y’know, imprison him so that he wouldn’t be able to try taking over the Spiral again. Literally all you’ve told us about Malistaire is that he a) killed Sylvia, b) betrayed Ravenwood and abandoned Malorn afterwards, and c) that he had come to reclaim Malorn as his son and help him unlock his ~*~*~*~true power~*~*~*~ or what the fuck ever.

That’s why he captured me… luring you to him was just a… perk,” she said, gritting her teeth.

“You’re really going to believe that bullshit?” I asked.

But she was shaking her head at me. “It’s true. Mrs. Lin Zeng,” she said, nodding to the kitchen, “she knew my father. She helped him hide from Malistare once, a long time ago. She knows Ambrose. That’s why we’re here.”

I clenched my eyes shut. My world was turning on its head. “This can’t be happening….”

She put a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I only found out in the past few days we’ve been here.”

I reached out to her then and pulled her close to me with what little energy I had. “Never leave my side.”

“You know I won’t.”

*One week later…*

We had been taking it easy lately, not going out of the house unless it was to one of the stores across the street. We stayed in to help Mrs. Lin Zeng with taking care of the house and tending to the dragons. Nicole took care of most of the healing and I cleaned the house, took out garbage, and various other stupid shit.

Be careful not to cut yourself on that edge, there.

I found it all pointless because none of these things were preparing us for war. No one knew what was going on with Wizard City after the attack.

Thankfully, all of Malistare’s minions had been kicked out before we came to the village in MooShu by Nicole’s team of wizards she used to travel with. At this point, they would have been to Dragonspyre by now, but all the wizards were called back to Wizard City to help Ravenwood.

As for Nicole and I, her levels shot through the roof after surviving the last attack as well as her constant healing.

That morning, Nicole and I decided it was time to see the village. We were walking hand in hand when Nicole stopped and turned to me.

“Malorn,” she breathed. She kissed me full on the lips and then rested her head on my shoulder in a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around her small frame.

“What’s the matter?” I pulled back and looked into her eyes.

“I’m so afraid of losing you.” She looked down. “Back in that attack, when you got hurt…and then you didn’t wake up, and-”

I cut her off, pressing my finger to her lips. “Shhh… It’s alright now.”

“No it’s not!” she yelled suddenly, and I did a double take. “You could have been killed! What if you were really hurt? What if Malistare came back?”

I sighed. “Nicole…. I know. We both know what could happen. But do we really have a say in whether or not we’re a part of this mess?” She shook her head.

“No…. I know that. But I just want you to know how much I love you… and how scared I am of losing you.”

Trust me, you’ve made it GLARINGLY clear several times over.

“You won’t. I’m not leaving you. I couldn’t fight for him. Never.”

Just then, we saw black fog encroaching on the town. We looked at each other when we heard a scream.

Nicole gasped. “Malorn!” Before I could blink, Nicole tackled me at the waist into the pavement. My eyes snapped shut and a wave of frigid energy shot over us. I opened my eyes.

There were ten wraiths floating above us, closing in. The one had summoned a Vampire and the energy was the wraith trying to suck the life out of me. Nicole jumped up and used her wand to summon a Meteor Strike, hitting four of them, sending them flying backwards. They quickly recouped and started to close in. Nicole looked at me, eyes wide. “RUN!” she shouted.

“I’m not leaving you!” I held up my staff and shot beams of black energy out. They just passed through them without a second thought. I did a double-take.

“They don’t want me!” she yelled, summoning a Fire Dragon. “They want you!”

And you know this how? Or do you now suddenly also have some sort of clairvoyance that allows you to know your enemies’ exact target?

I summoned a Banshee and pointed it toward two of the wraiths in front of me. She started to scream as the wraiths fell back. “MALORN!”

The next few seconds were the longest of my life. My head turned just as a wraith glided straight for me. I held my staff up and beams of black energy shot out when the wraith fell on top of me.

My staff exploded and the world went dark.

*A few hours later…*

“My boy…”

I snapped my eyes shut as a piercing slap slashed across my right cheek. I kept my eyes glued to the floor.

“Time to wake up!”

I looked up, shaking from the shock.

I was staring straight into my father’s glare.

“How are you, my son?” I glared back, not even blinking. My arms were tied up to the ceiling by cables. The room was dark and cold, with only one light shining directly on me, the white walls on all sides seemed to close in.

He tilted his head to the left slightly and narrowed his eyebrows.

His eyebrows.

“You know, this troubles me.” He moved his staff and turned his back from me. “Now, don’t try anything silly, my boy. You see, you are powerless here.” I harnessed as much energy as I could without my staff, but before I could even think about unleashing it, a current of energy shot down the cables and electrified my entire body. My arms and legs jerked around violently as the pressure in my face nearly reached a breaking point; just before it did, the shocks ceased and my body went limp. “If you couldn’t already tell, those are magical energy cables, and they will continue to shock you if you even think about using your magic against me. So I’ll have you know that I intend to break you, Malorn.” He walked to the door on the opposite side of the room. He turned back to me, and I glared into his eyes, struggling to control my breath.

“Defiant.”

He shut the door behind him.

I stared at the floor, my breaths shallow. I knew what was going to happen if I didn’t hold onto myself. If I lost touch with who I was, I would have become the monster we all knew that I was destined to be. But I wasn’t about to think about that. I needed to focus on the one thing that kept me safe from the horrors of the Spiral and insanity.

Nicole.

Date of death: 5th of January, 2023

Cause of death: Overdose of this bullshit.

*One week later…*

The door screeched open, and I knew what was coming.

“Hello Malorn! Good to see you again!” The whole week, he hadn’t come in the room. In fact, no one came in the room. No food. Only a few drops of water that dropped out of the ceiling kept me alive.

Bitch do you even know how the human body fucking works??? Everyone over the age of 12 knows a person can only survive for about three days without water, and a few drops would NOT be enough. Plus, any prison keeper with half a brain knows to supply their prisoner with at least enough food and water to keep them alive and draw out the torture. You literally said this is what Malistaire aimed to do.

I made no move to look at him. His cheery, condescending attitude pissed me off.

“Something wrong, my boy? Why won’t you look at your father?” I was growing angrier by the second. But I knew if I just rolled with the punches, he’d be kinder to me. “Is everything alright with school?” He paused as my nostrils flared. “Oh dear, you look rather weak…. Have you been eating right?” He waited before snapping his fingers.

The scent made my senses go wild.

I finally looked up without a second thought and saw a plate with meat. I didn’t care what it was. All I could think was food.

“Oh! You want this?” he asked. I just kept staring at the plate. A fork appeared in his hand and he stabbed the slab of meat. “It just looks so very… delectable.” He raised it to his nose and took the deepest breath and sighed heavily. He walked toward me and went to wave it under my nose, but I just snapped my head forward and tore a piece off with my teeth.

The fuck, boy, are you a snake???

The speed made him drop the meat to the floor. “Tsk tsk, Malorn.” He reached down and stabbed it again with unnecessary force. Your food is going to go to waste now….” He clicked his fingers and the meat disappeared with the fork.

“What do you fucking want?” I snapped.

“Now, now, is that any way to address your father?” Immediately at the last word, the cables holding me upright attacked my body in a rage of magically energy. I yelled in obvious agony, my body contorting, insanely.

I see you still didn’t fix the mistake and awkward as fuck prose right here.

When the energy stopped flowing, I panted. “What… do you… want?”

“You.”

“No shit.” He simply raised his staff and shot me in the chest with a beam of energy.

“Still defiant, are we?”

“Just fucking tell me and I won’t keep ignoring you.”

“Fine then….” He walked away from me, pacing around the room. “Sigh….”

,,,So you deleted the part where Malorn specifies for us that Malistaire literally said the word ‘Sigh’, but not the fact that he literally said the word ‘Sigh’, which was already stupid, so now it still looks stupid but in a different fashion.

I was seconds from screaming again. “You take all the fun out of everything. You see, I need your help.”

“Why would you need me?”

“There is someone in particular… that is getting in my way.”

“Who?”

“Your little pet.”

“Nicole?” I thought about Nicole, and her light, her beauty… utterly astonished.

Then it hit me. “Her dad.”

“Ah! Now we have something to go on, don’t we?”

“The one that originally banished you from the Spiral… that was Nicole’s dad.”

You already knew this. Why are you acting like you just now realised it?

“You’re getting warmer, my boy. Why would I need you?”

“If her dad died but managed to defeat you… having me on your side….”

“Yes…?”

“Would guarantee your victory against Nicole…. She’s the one you think is destined to defeat you.”

WELL OBVIOUSLY!!! Why the fuck else would he want you by his side except to help him conquer the Spiral?????

“And there we are! You’ve figured it out!”

I started chuckling, then laughing, then full on hysterics. Malistare used the magical energy on me again and I stopped immediately.

“Why would you laugh at me?”

“Like I’d ever join you.”

“Oh, but you will!”

“Give me one good reason why I would?”

“You’re here.” He pointed at my cables. “Nicole is somewhere out there. How do you expect to save her when I just…?” He made his hand into a fist and magical energy glowed around his hand, “could kill her in a heartbeat,” he said, his voice now harsh, dropping the fatherly approach. “Give me your choice.”

If she’s the only thing standing in your way and you have the ability to kill her easily, why have you not done so

“You’d kill Nicole either way. The choice wouldn’t change anything.”

He smirked. “Oh, don’t be so sure. If you don’t join me willingly, I could just make you.”

If you have the ability to force Malorn to join you easily, WHY HAVE YOU NOT DONE SO

“You can’t control me.”

Are you sure Malorn? Do you really love her? It was his voice in my head. I tried to shake it, but it was like trying to block out a fog horn. She’s so frail. You could easily prove your worth and crush her! Her small little neck can be cracked if you just-

Small. Little. Neck. …Cracked.

,,,That was the best way you could come up with to convey that thought??

“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” I shouted at him. The voices ceased.

“You see what I can do to you now?” Malistare walked slowly to the door. “In due time, my son.”

This wretched fucking thing…

–Bishop

Continue reading.

The Flames of Death Spork II: Remaster Boogaloo, Chapter 10

Hello all. Not much to say about this one except that it is still sickening, boring, and utterly pointless. First chapter here, previous chapter here. ON AND WARDS!

Chapter Ten: The War

It was about two more months that we’d spent in Marleybone.

And two more months that we’d not cared.

We had fallen into a nice routine, and we don’t think too much about why we were there. We just went with the flow.

Nicole has been getting stronger with her ability in visions. She’s been having them regularly about various things, none related to Malistare, thankfully. But she always has the one recurring vision of us running away from something.

I finished getting dressed and strode over to where Nicole was pulling on her shirt.

The fuck are you two doing in the same room while changing??

When she pops her head through the hole, I kiss her right on the lips. She giggles and kisses me back. My cheeks get hot every time.

And we wanna hurl every time.

“Come on, we’re gonna be late,” Nicole urged me to move. I just stood there and stared at her with my head tilted. “Wh-?” Before she could even finish the thought, I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into me. I picked her up and swung her around in the air, kissing her the entire time. I set her down, still kissing her, and finally I pulled away.

She slapped my arm, playfully.

,,,Okay we’re gonna ignore that tooth-rotting garbage up there for just a moment to say that previously we’d made a comment here about how we ‘could write less sickening fluff between Malorn and Penny than this’ and now I’m trying to remember why????? Did we used to ship Malorn and Penny??? Did everyone else used to ship Malorn and Penny and we thought it was gross??? That would make more sense—

“Now we’re really going to be late!” She started rushing around the room, getting her things by using magic to float them into her backpack.

But he only kissed you for a few seconds??? If that made you late, then you were already going to be late anyways??? Have you no concept of time???

I laughed at her as I finished getting ready. She stood by the stairs impatiently.

“Come on, Malorn,” she breathed, shaking her head. We walked downstairs and out the door. I called on Kalohae and we started flying to Barkingham Palace.

“See, we’re flying now,” I told her. I gave Kalohae a little pat on the butt. “He’ll get us there in-” but my train of thought was halted.

I looked back at Nicole and saw her staring into space.

She was having that vision again.

When she has it, I can tell by the way her body goes colder than her other visions and how she winces at times when I assumed we’re screaming in the vision. But I don’t tell her that she reacts this way. I don’t want to scare her.

Her body goes cold?? Bro are you like,,,touching her every single time to check??? And if this girl can be scared by being told she simply winces at something perfectly reasonable to wince at, then she certainly has no place on the battlefield. Either that or you need to stop being so Goddamn overprotective and treating her like a fucking daisy while at the same time blathering on about how strong and amazing she is just about every chapter.

Nicole snapped out of it, panting. That was typical for this vision.

“Same as usual?” I asked, thoughtfully.

“No.”

I thought for a second. Nicole didn’t say anything.

“No. It was different this time.” A shiver went down my spine. Her words were cold… emotionless. “This time… it was vivid. I could see us running from a fire. There was a black fog behind us. We jumped onto Kalohae. And I’m the one directing which way to go. You’re in pain.”

Pick. A. God. Damned. Tense.

“Nicole…” I don’t know what else to say. I was more worried than when the vision was blurred. Now we knew it meant something serious. And if I was in pain, I wouldn’t be able to protect Nicole.

Pain does not always equal incapacitation. Take it from us, we’re chronically ill. What, I thought you were the big tough hardass Bad Boy™ of the story, why do you seem so certain you won’t Power Through The Pain to Protect The Girl You Love?

“I’m sorry,” she said, “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you. Now you’ll be worried about it.” She let her head drop.

“Nicole, sure I’m worried. But it’s better to have a warning of what’s coming than to be totally in the dark about it, am I right?” Nicole looked up at me, hopeful.

“I guess you are right.”

“See? It’ll be fine.” I kissed her on the lips and let Kalohae land. I hopped off and held out my hand to Nicole. She took it and hopped down. “It’ll be okay. I promise.” I smiled at her, and she smiled back slightly. She turned to walk in the gate, and my smile faded.

I hoped I was right.

*After class, back at the apartment…*

Nicole was at the desk and I was laying in bed, petting Chester.

“What are you working on?”

“I wanted to try something…” she trailed off, getting back to her work.

“Come on, what is it?” I see a pool of orange and red magic swirling on the desk in front of her. Small sparks of fire are shooting up from it.

??? The fuck is this shit??? That’s not how magic works here???

“I’m attempting to make a new spell…”

I cocked an eyebrow, but she didn’t look away from the desk. “A new spell?”

Bitch, you can’t invent a new spell just like that. What are you now, a Master? Less? If you were powerful enough and had enough education to do that, you would hardly have to worry about Malistaire anymore, and you’d have far surpassed Malorn in regards to magical prowess.

“I’m trying to combine my visions with a fire spell. I want to make it so that I can project my visions when I want to rather than just trying to explain them all the time. I want to be able to show them to you…” She was concentrating really hard. “I’ve almost got it…”

How would that even work?? What would the card look like?? Why would it be a Fire spell??? That sounds more like the kind of thing you would try to channel through a psychic link—oh wait, I mean ‘‘‘‘‘Magical Communication Whispering’’’’’.

“That’s a great idea,” I told her. I stood up from the bed and patted her shoulder, kissing her on the head. Chester flew onto her other shoulder. “You’ll get it. You’re smart enough to do it.” I watched her for a minute, and she let out a yelp. “What’s wrong?!”

Malorn! Nicole! Can you hear me in your thoughts? It was Ambrose’s voice. Nicole and I looked at each other and we knew we heard the same thought in our heads.

“We can hear you,” I said out loud. Something was wrong, I could already tell. “Why are you contacting us?”

It is a dire emergency. I’m afraid I have very little time to explain. I bring horrible news. It is as we feared. Malistare has raised an army and Krokotopia has fallen to Malistare. 

Nicole and I went wide-eyed. We knew what that meant.

Really? Well then could you explain it to us?

We are at war, young students. I am gathering forces here at Ravenwood, but the school is under attack.

“No!” Nicole called out. In my heart, I felt a pang of pain. Ravenwood was her only true home; it was the first place she had been included with magical beings.

Oh no, let me play you a song on the world’s tiniest violin.

I’m afraid so, young one. But it shall be saved. If Wizard City falls, you two are our only hope.

‘But y’know. No pressure or anything.’

“No!” I protested. “We’ll come to help defend Wizard City! We won’t let Malistare-”

No. That is exactly why I sent you two away. If Wizard City was to be attacked, you two must be far away. Our job here is to protect this world in the Spiral. Your job is to live. You two must stay alive in order to defeat Malistare when he is weak.

OH GOOD, SHE FIXED THAT SPECTACULAR FUCKUP WHERE SHE DEADASS REPEATED HER ENTIRE PARAGRAPH OVER AGAIN.

“And how are we supposed to do that?” I asked, skeptically.

You must flee to Mooshu. Stay together, and Nicole, you must protect Malorn from-!

“Professor! Professor!” Nicole called. But his thoughts were already gone. We had no idea what had happened. Nicole and I looked to each other.

“You have to protect me?” I asked her. “I thought I was supposed to protect you! I thought you’d be the prime target for your powers!” I started pacing, thinking of how she could protect me. “How long have you known about this?!” I yelled in her face. “You knew you were supposed to protect me! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SO CERTAIN THAT SHE KNEW DICK ABOUT SHIT AND WAS ACTIVELY KEEPING IT FROM YOU??? Also, what would be so bad about her protecting you, are you afraid of seeming weak or something?? Jeez, how fragile is your male ego?? I think Malorn is exhibiting some traits of a toxic partner, Nicole. You should get out now while you still can.

“Malorn, I didn’t know! If I’d had known, I’d-” Nicole gasped. And in a blink, she leapt out of her chair and tackled me and Chester to the floor as she waved her staff, putting a shield up over the building. She stayed on top of me, and suddenly, I heard a hissing –

An explosion.

Time seemed to move in slow motion as I felt the three of us, Nicole, Chester and I were flung into the air, and thrown against the door. I hit the ground, face-down, and the ringing in my ears was deafening. I couldn’t hear anything else. I put my hands on the floor, and tried to push up and collapsed.

My head started to pound. It felt as if it was cracking open right down the middle. Everything was spinning and I clenched my eyes shut.

I felt something shaking me. I cracked open an eye and saw Nicole, covered in soot and blood, pulling on my shoulder, yelling in my face. I couldn’t hear anything but the ringing in my ear, but I read her lips, and they read, “Colemans.” She pulled me up and we ran down the hall, or what was left of it, and grabbed Mr. and Mrs. Coleman and dragged them down the stairs. The smoke throughout the house stung my eyes as they teared, along with the intense pain and ringing in my head. We dragged them out of the house and checked their pulses. They were alive, and I vaguely recognized Mr. Coleman coming to. But Nicole was in my face again, grabbing at my arm, pulling me to move.

I ran with Nicole pulling on my arm, and I saw Chester, unconscious in Nicole’s other arm. Nicole kept looking back and getting more and more scared. But the words on her lips read, “Don’t look back!”

Okay, but before you said that in the visions, Malorn was telling Nicole not to look back. You said it multiple times.

I could tell that we were finally living Nicole’s horrid vision.

And you hadn’t figured that out by now…?

I dropped to the ground. I couldn’t move. Pain gripped my entire being and I was twitching on the cobblestone street. It was blinding. It was deafening. I thought I was going to die.

I felt my body move as I laid there in my world of hurt, but not by my own doing. I was being dragged on the street, and then I was lifted up. I felt the scales of Kalohae beneath me and knew Nicole was getting us out of there on her own.

I continued to convulse in agony, but Nicole held my body down, making sure I didn’t fall. I was laying in her lap as Kalohae flew…

Then I blacked out.

Bruh what the fuck is wrong with you specifically that you’re halfways dying over here while Nicole is still completely functional???

*A few hours later…*

I groaned as my eyes started to flutter open. It felt like I was hit with a truck.

I sat upright, slowly as I held my head, careful not to black out again. The images of what happened came rushing back to me, almost knocking me over. I stood up from the mattress and looked around.

It’s called a futon, you dope, and if you had said that from the beginning maybe it wouldn’t have taken us so long to get the clue that they’re now in MooShu.

I was in what looked like a wooden hut. The room was decorated very simply, with an area rug covering most of the floor, vases in the corners, and several mattresses with blankets on the floor. There were small lanterns around the room, lighting it dimly. In the mattress to my left, I noticed Nicole’s backpack with Chester sound asleep next to it. But he wasn’t curled up as usual. He was sprawled on her pillow…

Kalohae was curled up in the mattress to my right, and he barely fit on it.

I walked over to the sliding paper door opposite my mattress and walked into a kitchen/dining area.

There was a goat-woman making something at the stove. It smelled like chicken soup. Her ears perked up when I slid the door shut behind me and she turned to me.

“Hello, child,” she said in a soft, soothing voice. “I’m almost done with supper. Your friend is worried about you.”

I nodded, understanding. Then I bowed to her in respect. “Thank you for helping us.” She smiled at me and eyed the door leading outside. It was open, and Nicole sat on the steps, staring up at the stars. I walked over and sat to Nicole’s left.

“Thank you,” I said to her. “I owe you my life.” She was quiet for a minute, and when I looked to her, I saw a tear roll down her cheek.

“Don’t thank me.” She leaned into me and buried her face into my chest and sobbed. I hugged her and rubbed her back, soothing her. She muttered something.

Oh what, does she think it’s her fault? Yes, how dare a thirteen-year-old be unable to completely protect a sixteen-year-old (did any of you notice we never had Malorn’s birthday, we’ve just had to assume it happened because it’s been over a year) from a huge and devastating explosion.

“Huh?”

She pulled back and looked at me with red eyes. “I thought I was going to lose you!” she whimpered through sobs. I pulled her chin close my face and kissed her lips softly. “You were twitching in pain and you couldn’t move on your own! I didn’t know if I could save you! I couldn’t lose… lose….” She let out another sob.

I looked her in the eyes. “You will never lose me. I promise.” I wiped the tear that started to roll down her cheek and kissed her there. She smiled a sad smile, and I pulled her in to hug me again.

We sighed as she finally caught her breath.

Well, this was still awful. We’re out. Bye.

–Bishop

Continue reading.

The Flames of Death Spork II: Remaster Boogaloo, Chapter 9

Jesus Christ, this chapter is even more boring than the last one, save for some more creepiness at the end. The last chapter was already mostly filler, and this one is even worse, so I apologise if there are some long stretches where I go without saying anything, or some strained remarks, but I’ll try my best. OWNRDAS! First chapter here, previous chapter here.

Chapter Nine: The Intensity

“Malorn…? Malorn…? Wake up…” I heard my name before feeling a softness on my cheek.

Gag me.

I opened my eyes, seeing Nicole sitting up in bed next to me.

She looked so beautiful in her night time attire… but it was light out.

‘NiGhtTiMe AtTiRe’ Just say fucking pyjamas like a normal human person

“Shit.” I rolled over to face the wall, covering my face with the blanket. It was early. And we had to get up.

“Good morning to you too, Mr. Grumpy.” Nicole giggled and gave me a small shove. “Come on, you have to take me to lessons in an hour.”

I groaned. Then I heard Nicole whisper to Chester. My eyes popped open.

Chester landed on my head above the blanket and gripped edge where my head was. He flew forward and over the bed, taking the blanket with him. I was laying in bed, curled up in my boxers, freezing my freakin’ ass off. I glared daggers at Chester.

“Don’t be mad at him; I told him to,” Nicole said, happily. “Now up you get!”

And here’s the thing about Fire School kids. They’re morning people.

“I hate you…” I grumbled.

“Love you too!” she said cheerily.

“I know,” I said with a wink.

*Later that morning…*

I’d like to know which of your English teachers is responsible for the fact that you never learned how to write a graceful scene change

“Ready to leave yet?” I called up to Nicole. I was waiting at the bottom of the steps.

“Ready!” she called. I turned around.

She was dressed in a long, red gown that went straight to her feet. She glided down the stairs. I believe it was called, “Bellow’s Robe of Courtesy.” And her hat remained “Brady’s Solar Cowl” designed.

I was so stunned, I didn’t even comment at first. “You look great.”

You should be used to this by now, Malorn.

“Thank you… Aren’t you going to change?”

“Uh… why?”

“Well, we kind of need to blend in here, so I brought clothes from every world, just in case.”

“Oh…” Crap.

“That’s alright my boy,” Mr. Coleman said, calling me from the top of the stairs. “I have something for you as well.”

When I came back downstairs, I was dressed in, “Marvelous Shroud.” I had to change my signature hat to “Feline’s Somber Hat.”

Bitch, fucking describe the clothes you’ve put them in, don’t just expect us to immediately know what they look like based off nothing but the in-game gear names. There are literally several dozen pieces of clothing from MarleyBone alone, none of your readers are going to have every single fucking one memorised. What, do you expect us to fire up the game, pop over to the Bazaar, and search its listings for each one you’ve named, hoping it happens to have them all in stock at the time??? Describe what they’re wearing. Simply will do. Floor-length gown and short, wide-brimmed Wizard’s hat for Nicole. Proving my point, I don’t remember a single Earthly thing about the outfit you’ve given Malorn, so the names you’ve put down have not helped this reader at all. You claim to be a writer? Do your fucking job.

“Not bad,” Nicole said with a judging look. I blushed. “Come on, I’m gonna be late!” She grabbed my arm and pulled me out the door.

Nicole carried her staff in one hand, and looped her free arm in mine. We walked together swiftly but calmly through the streets of the city. I could tell Nicole loved it by the way she beamed.

Yes, the constant threat of being snatched up by an O’Leary and turned over to Malistaire really sets the mood.

“And here we are,” I told her. The guards opened the gate and led her inside. I turned to leave with a smile on my face.

“Wait!” Nicole came running back out and kissed my cheek. She winked at me and ran back inside.

My head spun.

Ours too. I think we’re gonna be sick.

When I got back to the apartment, I greeted Mr. Coleman and started heading up the stairs.

“Forgetting something?” he mused. I came back down the stairs and felt like punching myself. He was holding a bag of envelopes. “First day on the job!” he said cheerily.

“Right…”

“Every day I’ll give you a bag like this big one here. Once you deliver all of them for the day, you’re done. Do them at your own pace.”

“That’s it?”

“Well there’s quite a lot of letters in there. And it’s about quarter to ten now. I expect you’ll be done by around one thirty. Nicole’s lessons end at two, so best to hurry up!”

Well, he didn’t know my secret weapon.

I stepped outside and whistled for Kalohae. He appeared in a mist of skulls.

‘Mist of skulls’. Sounds like a song written by some shitty deathcore band. Then again, so does ‘Flames of Death’.

“Alright, man. Let’s get through these letters.”

*Four hours later…*

“Oh my god…” Kalohae and I sat down on a park bench. “How many more?” I dug through the bag. There were about 20 left. “What time is it?” I looked at Big Ben. It was quarter to two. “Shit! Shit-shit-shit!”

MINOR FUCKING SWEARING???

I jumped on Kalohae and flew as fast as I could to Barkingham Palace. When I got there, Nicole was waiting for me.

“I’m sorry! How long were you standing there?”

“About ten seconds. Right on time.” She smiled at me. I wiped my forehead. Then I held out my hand to her and helped her onto Kalohae. He protested with a grunt out of sheer exhaustion. “Quiet you,” I hissed. “So how were your lessons?” I asked, leading Kalohae back to the apartment.

“Great…”

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

“Well, the thing is, my instructor taught me a new fire spell… But she also asked me about the vision I had.”

“How did she know?”

“She said she talked to Professor Ambrose about me. And she knows that I have other powers I can unlock.” She put air-quotes around “other.”

Of course she fucking does. It’s not like you need extensive and advanced training for other forms of magic power besides the most basic ones possessed by children, after all.

I squinted my eyes. I wasn’t so sure if I liked this. I knew I had other powers too. But I didn’t know if unlocking them was the best idea in the Spiral.

“Do you trust her?” I asked.

“She knows Professor Ambrose. I have to.”

“Then do what she thinks is best. If unlocking these powers means protecting yourself from my father, then do it.”

Then it hit me. She has powers to unlock. So do I.

My dad probably fought hers….

Since,,,fucking when sgfsfhdhfsfgzfg??? You said he was part of some bullshit society of ‘Wizard Protectors’ or whatever, but he died when Malorn and Nicole were still small children, and Malistaire hasn’t been a major threat that long??? At least, not that you ever fucking told us, what with you deciding to flip both him and KingsIsle a massive bird and destroying literally all of his characterisation and history.

I shook it off. I didn’t want to scare her.

Bitch what??? What are you talking about??? Even if we DO assume that John and Malistaire fought each other personally, literally how would that indicate some sort of intrinsic magical connection between Nicole and Malorn and their ~*~*~*~super special untapped powers~*~*~*~??? Even if you do have an explanation for that, you’re still not even hinting at any of it! If this is you making an attempt at foreshadowing, let me tell you how that works; with foreshadowing, the readers actually have some inkling or two of what’s going to happen or what something means. With this?? You’re just pulling stuff out of your arse at this point.

“Thanks Malorn.” She hugged me tighter. I kissed her head.

When we got back to the apartment, she was ready to head upstairs.

“Coming?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I was about to follow when Andy eyed me. “Actually, I’ll meet you up there in a bit. I promised Mr. Coleman I’d get some groceries for him at the market.”

Nicole smiled at me. “Okay, see you soon.”

I heaved a sigh.

And so, out we went… again.

*The next morning…*

Nicole and I were riding Kalohae to Barkingham Palace, and I wanted to ask her about our dads. Maybe there was a connection to our powers.

But then she smiled at me. I knew I couldn’t do anything to let that smile go. So I smiled back and dropped her off. She kissed me on her way and away she went.

Four months had now gone by, and finally, I was learning a better way with going about the mail route. Before I’d leave, I’d sort all the damn letters and deliver them according to where people lived and I’d be done by one.

As for Nicole, she learned more and more about her visions, and her instructor told her to force herself to have a vision once every lesson. She was now at the point where she could have them at will. She’d always tell me immediately after the lesson.

Oh wow, look, a timeskip where she actually gave us a rundown of what went on and what’s changed! Not some lazy, cop-out-ass *Four months later…* bullshit!

“It happened again,” she told me, getting onto Kalohae.

The vision was the same every time. Only in the beginning it was just voices. Now there were some blurry images.

The two of us would scream, and have to run as fast as we could. She’d hear me yelling to her, “Don’t look back!” And then it would end.

“I figured that.” I said.

But as dark as these times were, it was relaxing for us.

Since we were finished so early in the day, we did so much together.

Some nights we’d go to the park again and lay in the grass, watching the stars. Sometimes we went to the theater to see a play. Other times we went to the museum. A lot of the time we’d go out to dinner. And the other times we’d eat dinner with the Colemans.

Because this is all so fucking relevant to the plot.

And no matter where we were, who we were with, or how late it was, she’d always make me smile.

She came up with this poking game, so whenever she wanted to tell me she was having a good time, or wanted a kiss, she’d poke me. Then I started doing it to her.

Oh good, you got rid of that sketchy-ass part where he said he ‘took a little advantage’ of poking her.

But every night, we’d always lay in bed next to each other, watching each other to see who fell asleep first.

I loved watching her sleep.

Because you are a stalker.

She always looked so peaceful… so happy… so beautiful. I loved every minute of it.

What the fuck else is new??? We get it, she’s beautiful and perfect and you love her, you don’t need to keep hammering it in at every bleeding opportunity.

But then, there was a very different night.

It was a mid-winter evening with snow on the ground and flurries in the air. We strolled through the park together holding hands. We kissed in the snow and had a great time. When we got back, the Colemans and Chester were asleep, so I made some hot chocolate for us and we snuggled by the fireplace.

Okay but if they both are in MarleyBone because they’re supposed to be in hiding from Malistaire’s forces who are actively looking for them and the Colemans are supposed to be their guardians, shouldn’t there be like, rules?? About not wandering off unsupervised (or at all) and/or being back home by a certain hour?? Shouldn’t the Colemans have been wondering where they were?? What if they were captured??? How would they know in time to warn Ambrose and send someone to the rescue before it was too late??? I say again, they’re in MarleyBone, it’s literally stated outright that the O’Leary gang pretty much runs the streets and that Meowiarty is allied with Malistaire, there is a very high chance of that happening, I don’t fucking care how ‘romantic’ it is or whatever, their safety is the priority and it makes zero Goddamn sense for them to be running about at all hours of the night. I say again, do your fucking job. Be more creative if you really want to make those romance scenes work with the story you are writing.

When it was time for bed, we got dressed and I was surprised that Nicole wasn’t wearing a sweatshirt because it was so cold out. She caught me eyeing her. “I wanted to get cozy with you.”

“That’s fine by me.”

We crawled into bed together and I pulled her close to me. I laid on my side with her on her side with her back against my bare chest. She was still wearing a t-shirt.

I should bloody well fucking hope so—

“I love you.” She had said it to me before, but the intensity of that moment between us felt different.

“I love you too,” I replied softly.

What I didn’t expect is what happened next.

She turned over, and started kissing me. But this time, it was different. It was rougher and fiercer… with a new kind of fire. I pulled her closer, holding her around her waist as she kissed my lips harder and traced her hands all along my face.

*Mum voice* And just what do you kids think you’re doing?

I felt one of her hands tug at her own shirt at the bottom, but I stopped her with my hand.

I pulled away for a second and looked into her eyes.

“It’s just a shirt,” she said, quietly. “And I’m not taking it off.” I let her move it just a small bit out of the way, to reveal her mid-drift. “Just a little… step up?” she said it so meekly that I almost had to laugh.

First of all, it’s midriff, you fucking idiot, and second of all, LITERALLY NOTHING HAS CHANGED. SHE IS STILL THIRTEEN. HE IS STILL SIXTEEN. THERE IS STILL A VERY RELEVANT POWER IMBALANCE IN MALORN’S FAVOUR. The only ‘step up’ they should be taking is kissing in front of their friends or whatever.

“If that’s what you want, then that’s what you’ll get,” I replied. “I just want you to tell me what you want.” She looked up at me through her hair. Then I realized what was wrong. “You have a beautiful body.” I felt her relax in my arms as she smiled and then we stopped kissing, but I pulled her close.

We stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s arms the whole night.

Well that was boring and stupid and fucking gross as usual.

–Bishop

Continue reading.

The Flames of Death Spork II: Remaster Boogaloo, Chapter 8

So this chapter is still as fucking boring as it ever was; it’s pretty much just them wandering around MarleyBone at night and him telling us how perfect she is and how great he feels around her and how much he loves her and basically just the usual shit. And not even in like, an actual ship-development-y way, just in a dull, dragging on, filler episode-y way. First chapter here, previous chapter here. !SDRAWNO

Chapter Eight: The Quiet

I held Nicole’s hand as I finally felt my feet touch the floor. We stumbled but quickly recovered. I looked around and saw that we were in a large chapel, dimly lit with stain glass windows and rows of pews. I pushed open the huge wooden doors, and there was a Marleybone guard at the entrance. Nicole walked along next to me when I introduced us.

Kinchley is inside the Abbey, dingus. Again, how is your knowledge so spotty in such a weird way.

“Private Kinchley,” I said with a curt nod. He nodded back.

“How ya doing?” he replied in a deep tone as we followed him to the apartment. He’d grown gray with strain from being so active with the new war going on.

“Not so hot… You know the story don’t you?”

‘You mean the story about how this girl’—Private Kinchley looked at Nicole with disdain—‘turned our own story upside down by making herself the centre of everything, destroying your pleasant personality for the sake of her own poorly-executed fantasy wish-fulfilment, reducing Malistaire from the sympathetic and compelling villain he truly is to a heartless wife-killer for no reason besides Because Evil™ I suppose, and making you his and said wife’s son, all for the purpose of turning you into an Angsty Tormented Bad Boy™ whom she needs to play saviour for and help you Fight Your Daemons™ that were never even there in the first Goddamn place? Yes, yes, unfortunately, I am.’

He sighed. “Yeah… I meant otherwise, I suppose. How’s mother?”

“She’s well, thank you. She says hello.” I had known Private Kinchley since I was little. I always said hi to him when I visited Marleybone and he’s known Dalia since they were young. As we talked, Nicole just looked around, stunned at the big city.

“Here we are,” he said, stopping at a door. He knocked twice. In a few seconds, none other than Andrew Coleman opened the door, removing his glasses.

Okay but sis if the story is being told from Malorn’s point of view and Ambrose is the only one who’s met Coleman at this point, how does Malorn know this is him? The phrasing you’ve used implies that he does. A better way to put it would have been ‘a Dog whom I assumed must be Andrew Coleman’ or ‘someone I guessed was Andrew Coleman’, or anything in that vein. Show us that he’s using context.

“Good day! Good day! Hello Malorn, my boy!” He greeted me with a hug and shook the private’s hand vigorously.

Oh, good, you seem to have realised that ‘private’ is his rank, not his fucking name.

“My, you’ve grown!”

Okay wait, what??? So they do know each other??? Yes, you said above that Malorn used to visit MarleyBone when he was little, but you only specified that he knew Private Kinchley, you never said ANYTHING to indicate that he knew Coleman personally, the only connection you specified was between Coleman and Ambrose.

He stepped back and examined Nicole. “Why hello there,” he said, taking her hand. “You must be the Nicole I’ve heard so much about.”

“Yes! Nice to meet you!” she said, sweet as always.

*eyeroll*

She looked a little uneasy though. I took her hand and squeezed it. She looked to me and smiled.

“Thank you very much Private. I’ll be seeing you,” he said with a smile. Private Kinchley gave us both a nod and a small smile, shutting the door behind him.

“Well now… certainly you have bags, no?” he asked. Nicole and I glanced at each other.

“Sir, we were told to only carry what we could on our backs,” I said for us.

“Well that’s no problem at all! Let me show you to your room!”

“Thank you Mr. Coleman,” Nicole said quietly.

“Please! Call me Andy!” He started up the stairs when I saw something move in Nicole’s bag.

“What is that?” I asked, pointing to the bag.

It’s the real you, he’s trying to escape, QUICK, HELP HIM—

Nicole put her finger over her lips as if to quiet down.

WELL WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DOES THAT GESTURE MEAN

“Here we are! First down on the right is the bathroom, and the one at the end is my wife and I’s room. The one on the left is yours.”

“Thank you, Andy,” I said with a smile. Nicole smiled too.

“I’ll be downstairs if you need me. I’ll call you down the hall to the dining room at six. My wife is quite the lovely cook! Oh! And before I forget! Nicole, dear, your lessons begin tomorrow morning at nine, sharp! Best to be on time, you know.” He seemed to take a breath before turning to me. “And Malorn, my boy, your mother informed me that you wished to volunteer to bring Nicole back and forth as well as helping me in my office. Work will begin at ten, but I’ll only make you work for a few hours. See you in an hour!” And he scurried off in a rush.

I closed the door behind him.

“I didn’t know you volunteered to work for him,” Nicole commented.

“Neither did I…” I said with an eye roll. Then I moved toward the bag she left on the bed, but Nicole quickly snatched it away.

“Please don’t kill me,” she said with a guilty grin on her face. I looked her over, though she’s naturally tiny to start with, she was still thin as bones from her… time away.

Oh good, she got rid of that pointless line where Malorn makes sure we know that he would never kill her, even though he knew she didn’t mean it literally.

I sighed. “What is it…?” She opened the pull-string slowly and – as I guessed – out flew Sir Chester, her baby dragon. “You’re insane,” I added, dully.

“I couldn’t leave him home! He’s just a baby!” she said, petting his blue head as he fluttered his red wings.

“Fine!” I said, throwing my hands in the air. “But if you get caught, I’m not taking the blame for you!”

“I don’t care. As long as he’s safe with me.” She hugged him close to her.

But he’s not safe with you. You’re the target. He’s in danger while he’s with you. He would be safer at home, dillweed.

“I’ve got news for you, he’s probably in more danger with us than with your other pets at home.”

See? Listen to the boy!

“I still want to take care of him. And now that you know he’s here, I don’t have to carry him on my back. And he’s not mischievous. I’ve got plenty of snacks to last him for months anyway.”

But if Sir Chester requires your care, then what about your other pets? And it doesn’t matter if he’s not mischievous or if you don’t have to carry him anymore, he’s still in danger.

“Alright…” I threw my bag in the bottom of the closet, waving my wand over it and all of my equipment and clothes folded and stacked themselves neatly on the shelves. I turned around, and watched as Nicole stared at the bed.

Then it hit me.

The bed.

It was a double.

There was only one.

BOY, Y’ALL ARE WAY TOO YOUNG FOR THE ONLY ONE BED TROPE.

My face turned red, and to cover it up, I grabbed Nicole’s bag, throwing it onto the dresser and did the same trick to arrange her stuff. When I turned around, she must have stopped staring because she was petting Chester.

I walked over to the window and saw the city streets with shops and apartments all around us. In the distance, I saw green… a park.

“Hey Nicole,” I said, pointing out the window. “You see that over there?”

Nicole walked over and looked out the window. “The park?”

“Yeah… Would you join me for a date tonight?”

She turned to me, her eyes wide. But then they softened and she smiled brightly. “I’d love to!”

*One hour later*

We were still praying there wouldn’t be a sex scene between a 13-year-old and a 16-year-old.

Nicole and I sat across from Andrew and his wife, Malinda as we ate dinner. We had mashed potatoes with bread and chicken soup.

“It’s delicious,” I said, going for another mouth-full. Nicole smacked my arm under the table. I ate slower.

Malinda and Andrew laughed at that. “Well aren’t you two the sweetest couple,” she said. Nicole and I blushed.

And of course, I heard a small whimper coming from down the hall, followed by the sound of flapping wings. Nicole and I shared a glance.

?? Why ‘of course’???

“What was that, darling?” Malinda asked Andrew. He shrugged, taking another spoonful.

And then Chester came flying into the room and perched on Nicole’s shoulder. Her eyes widened and she shrugged. “Haha… surprise?”

“Oh, don’t be silly! Your pet dragon is more than welcome! Here, have some bread.” He held it out to Chester, which was immediately followed by the dragon making toast out of it, and eating it whole.

“Quite an amusing little fellow, isn’t he?” he said, dusting off leftover crumbs.

“Indeed,” I said with an eye roll. Nicole shrugged with a smirk.

*Two hours later*

Nicole and I walked to the park late at night. By this time on a weeknight, most people were at home, but we decided to spend it together.

It was quiet, other than the late-night creatures roaming the woods: various pixies, piggles, and firecats. You could hear the occasion howl of the hellhound in the distance, but it was all very relaxed. The pathway was lit by streetlamps and the stars shown bright overhead.

If we had a nickel for every third-grade-ass grammar or spelling error in this wretched thing we wouldn’t have to worry about debt anymore

Nicole was amazed at how beautiful a magical park was as opposed to the ones she knew from Earth. I slowly touched her hand, and when she smiled at me, I held hers in mine. We walked around for a few minutes, as she stared at the magical creatures and I stared at her. Every so often I’d squeeze her hand gently and smile at her or kiss her hand. She smiled or giggled at everything I did.

We walked in comfortable silence. And somehow, I felt… at peace… whole, with her around.

I didn’t feel the anger or pain. I didn’t feel some weird, ultra-power that I was supposed to have. Nicole just lets me be… me… But I was a newer, happier me.

WHAT

THE

FUCK

ELSE

IS

NEW

I stopped walking and she stopped too. I turned to her and just leaned my forehead on hers with our eyes closed. Then we stared at each other for a long moment…

Nicole closed the space between us with a kiss.

A slow, amazing kiss.

*Later that night*

We had been asleep from boredom for two hours already

Nicole and I got back to the house late, so we just teleported to the bedroom. I took off my hat, robes and shoes and turned to get in the bed in red boxers. Nicole was just taking out new clothes.

Boi, what??? Even if I normally slept naked I would still put on pyjamas if I was sharing a bed with someone I hadn’t already been dating for a while. Also, why did we need to know the colour of your underwear

“What’s that for?” I asked.

She shrugged, looking away. Then it clicked. She’s nervous.

“Oh… Sorry,” I said, rubbing the back of my head.

“No, no, it’s okay!” she said, blushing. “I’ll get changed and be right back.”

A few minutes later, she came back in the room. I sat up in bed. She wore my old black t-shirt and some blue shorts. She, as usual, looked pretty sexy… I turned red.

OH MY GOD SHE IS THIRTEEN!!! At LEAST you got rid of that part where he literally fucking said ‘the less clothes, the better’, BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST STILL

I patted the bed next to me. Her eyes widened, but she slowly came over. She pulled the blanket over her legs and sat up. I remembered the horrible stories she told me about her time with Malistare and his minions… and the threats they gave her. I put my arm around her shoulders… she was practically shaking.

“Hey, no need to be nervous,” I said. She wouldn’t look at me. “Are you scared?” She turned away.

I took my hand and gently touched her chin, guiding her to face me. “I will never hurt you. I promise you that. Nor will I ever let any harm come to you. Do you understand me?” She smiled slightly and nodded.

“I’m sorry… It’s just… I didn’t expect…”

“To be honest, neither did I.” I said with a sigh. “And I wasn’t planning on trying anything when I saw the bed. When you’re older maybe,” I stopped when I said that because I could swear I saw a trace of disappointment. My heart leapt. “Or when you’re ready,” I added with a sincere smile.

NO, NOT JUST WHEN SHE THINKS SHE’S READY. SHE JUST TURNED THIRTEEN. THERE IS A BIG FUCKING MENTAL/EMOTIONAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THIRTEEN AND SIXTEEN. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU ARE MUCH STRONGER THAN HER PHYSICALLY AND MAGICALLY. BITCH WHAT.

She smiled back. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She wrapped her hands around my neck and kissed me slowly and softly, gripping my hair. I felt hot under the covers, probably just from the fact that I was with Nicole.

In a bed.

Then I pulled back and smiled at her. I kissed her forehead, and she smiled. Both of us went under the blanket to lay down. But surprisingly, she curled up next to me, and laid her head on my chest. I put my arm around her and closed my eyes.

WHAT THE FUCK DID WE JUST READ.

–Bishop

Continue reading.